Harder To Breathe (Supernatural One-Shots)
by LeonIsTheDevil
Summary: A bunch of Supernatural One-Shots and occasional Two-Shots, mostly featuring HurtSam and Guilty/ProtectiveDean, because Imma Devil like that. Disclaimer I don't own any of the characters. I'm open to requests.
1. 1 - After The Hit

**Chapter 1 - After The Hit**

 **.Set in Season 2.**

 _After John's death, Sam and Dean head to Bobby's for a while. Whilst Dean is fixing up the Impala, Sam is dealing with problems of his own. Every attempt Sam makes at trying to talk to Dean goes south. But when will it become too much for Sam to deal with on his own? And will Dean be too late to take anything back?_

* * *

"I say we hall ass to Bobby's and take a few off. Give me time to work on Baby," Dean commented, not even bothering to take a look at his brother.

"Dean, we need to talk about what happened yesterday," Sam commented, one hand placed on his throbbing head and the other covering the white hot pain in his abdomen.

"No we don't Sam, let's just leave it at that," Dean snapped, shooting his brother down as he sped up, Metallica playing on the radio as they started the drive to Bobby's.

"Dean," Sam began, cringing in pain as he desperately tried to get his brother to listen to him.

"Sam! I just said no! God why do you have to be such a baby! I don't want to talk!" Dean snapped, turning up the radio in hopes to mask out his brothers words.

Sure Dean regretted what he had just said, lately Dean's been regretting a lot of things, but right now he just needed silence so he could think things through.

 _-You have to save Sam... but if you can't save him Dean, you're going to have to kill him.-_

When did John ever think that Dean would kill Sammy? His Sammy. Sure John had been an idiot in the past but if he thought for a second that Dean would even contemplate killing his little Sammy, then John needed to stop with the Whisky. Dean was not killing Sammy, period. No more words said on the matter.

Sam tried not to make a sound as his head smashed against his skull, the loud music wasn't helping, but the throbbing of his head matched the beats to whatever song was playing. He tried to breathe through it, but couldn't. He wouldn't be able to get any painkillers without drawing attention to himself and allowing Dean to think that he was more of a girl who couldn't handle a small headache. He wanted Dean to be happy again, he wanted Dean to be better. But he was in pain too, John was his father too. What part of that did Dean not understand? So instead, Sam tried to get some sleep. And after a while, he was finally successful.

* * *

Sam shot up in awakening, his nightmare still flashing through his mind as he tried to calm down his raspy breathing. Something was wrong with him, and Sam knew it too. He just wanted to ignore it and take painkillers so he could be there for Dean.

 _Dean_. Sam needed to tell Dean what was going on. But how could he do that when all he did was shoot Sam down, it was impossible to talk to Dean when he was like this. So Sam decided to stick to his own problems. At least for a while. Sam looked across from him, no Dean. But that was only because they had reached Bobby's.

 _-Are we really that broken that Dean didn't even wake me to tell me that we were here?-_

Sam stood out of the car, looking around the area and seeing the place he knew as his second home. The Impala being his first.

He took his duffel bag from the back of the truck Bobby let them use and walked inside, hearing 2 voices, Bobby and Dean. He didn't want to interrupt so he just walked up the stairs, setting his bag down on the bed furthest from the door, because Dean always took the one closest from the door. He has since they were kids.

Sam took out the painkillers and took 2. Placing the rest back in his duffle bag. He wanted to tell Dean what was going on, but hell... he didn't even know what was going on. So he decided to wait a few days, and if it continued, he'd go to the doctor himself. Until then, he would try and talk to Dean.

Sam walked downstairs, and into the library, reading up on a few cases, wondering how he could help.

"What're you doin' in here Sam?" Bobby asked, appearing out of nowhere beside the door.

"Researching for a new case," Sam responded, not bothering to look up from the newspaper.

"Why don't you try talkin' to your brother?" Bobby asked with a sigh.

"He won't listen right now, I'll talk to him later," Sam responded. Secretly just wanting Bobby to leave him alone. Truth was, he didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. Just wanted to be left alone.

"Damn it boy! Something's wrong with ya' and if you won't talk to someone at least make sure you're takin' care of yourself," Bobby snapped. Obviously sensing how damaged Sam was at the moment. He just wanted his boys to be okay. Even if it took all the time in the world.

"Nothing's wrong Bobby, I feel fine," Sam lied, the last thing he wanted to do was involve Bobby on something he had no clue on.

 _-Not even here for half an hour and he's already on my case. That's Bobby for ya' though.-_

But his body betray him as a rack of coughs filled his lungs.

"I call bullshit," Bobby commented. Before walking away, saying something along the lines of 'Winchesters'. Sam pulled his hand back and found the dark red substance that scared him.

Blood. His blood.

 _'Pretty sure that's not supposed to happen'_ Sam thought, getting up from his chair and getting a tissue to clean the blood from his hand.

He needed to tell Dean, and if Dean wasn't going to listen then he was going to go to the hospital on his own. Something was wrong. And Sam knew it.

* * *

3 days later...

Sam couldn't hide the agony he was feeling anymore. He tried resting but that never did anything, he was constantly tired. Tried eating but all he did was throw it back up again. He had so far had more nosebleeds than he could count and passed out more than that. As well as the more than occasional coughing and throwing up blood.

It was time to tell Dean. It was time to try and seek his big brothers help. Hoping it would go well, Sam limped outside to his brother. The suns rays burning his eyes and throbbing against his skull.

"Dean," Sam began.

"What?" Dean snapped from underneath the Impala.

"Dean I need to talk to you," Sam told.

"Not right now Sam" Dean snapped, his voice even rougher than before.

"Dean, please. I need your help, something's wro-" He began.

"I said not right now. God, I can't place a bandage on everything for you. Take care  
of yourself for once!" Dean snapped.

Sam nodded his head, coughing once again. Each cough matched the throbbing pain in his head. He had to go to the hospital, and by the sounds of things... he'd be going alone.

Sam walked inside, leaving his jacket and taking the keys to the truck Bobby let them take whenever the Impala was out of use. This was something Sam couldn't handle on his own, and if Dean weren't going to help him than he had to do it himself, he had to be there for Dean right now. They had just lost their father, of course Sam had to be there for Dean. But right now he need to make sure he was alright, that nothing was fatally wrong with him. Because hell, it felt like something was wrong.

"Where ya goin' Sam?" Bobby asked from the library door. He always came at the most random times and showed up in the most random places. But that's something that made him Bobby.

"Just out for a bit." Sam responded wrapping his arm around his throbbing abdomen.

"How 'bout we cut the crap and I ask again? Where ya goin' Sam?" Bobby asked once more, this time more firmly.

"Hospital." Sam sighed, he couldn't lie to Bobby, and it wasn't like he was lying to Dean. His brother wouldn't listen. But Sam couldn't place the blame on Dean. He never could.

"Why do ya need to go to the hospital Sam?" Bobby asked, concern striking the oldest hunter.

"It's probably nothin' just a few bumps and bruises." Sam shrugged like nothing was wrong. Sure he wanted to believe that it was nothing. But he had a feeling that something was wrong. And it hurt to much to suggest otherwise.

"Alright, let me get the truck and I'll tell Dean to get ready." Bobby sighed hesitantly, but knowing there was something wrong with the youngest.

"What? No Bobby it's... fine." Sam gasped at the strike of pain he felt himself dealing with.

"Don't argue with me boy. I'm takin' you to the hospital, and I'm sure Dean will wanna see what's goin' on." Bobby snapped walking towards Sam and helping distribute his weight.

"Already tried letting Dean know. He didn't list- AH!" Sam gasped in pain gripping his head and wrapping a hand around his abdomen in complete agony.

"Shit! Alright then I'll call Dean from the hospital." Bobby informed, rushing Sam outside to his truck quickly, trying to make it less painful for Sam as he did so. As soon as Sam was seated in the car he had passed out, blood pooling out of his nose and mouth.

"Sam!" Bobby barked worriedly, trying to get the youngest awake. But nothing worked. So he sped off towards the hospital. Cursing both the Winchester's and begging that they both be okay, mentally and physically.

* * *

4 hours later...

Dean stood up from the Impala. Brushing his hands together in triumph. He had finally finished mending the Impala. But now he didn't know what else to do, there had to be something else to distract him other than drowning himself in whisky. Although... Nah, he did that last night.

He would've gone inside, he would've taken his plate in that once had his lunch on it. He would've gone straight in, washed the dishes, stayed clear of a certain little brother, and then taken a nice well deserved shower. Dean would've done all those things, if it weren't for a phone call he'd received from Bobby.

"I thought you were in the house? How long have you been gone?" Dean questioned confusingly, he hadn't seen nor noticed Bobby leave the house. Dreading the fact that it meant he was at the salvage yard alone with Sam.

"Around 4 hours now. But... Dean..." Bobby began, the sound of his tone immediately told the hunter that whatever was happening was really, really bad.

"What?" Dean whispered, not wanting to lift his voice anymore than necessary.

"You need to get to the hospital, it's Sam. The doctors want you to come here..." Bobby began.

"Bobby, I can't be there. I've got things to do here. Whatever the doctors need me for I'm sure you can help out with. And Sam's gonna be fine. I can't keep placing bandages..." Dean began his interruption, but stopped as Bobby spoke the words Dean would never forget.

"Let me finish," Bobby interrupted and after a few moments of silence from the other end of the line, he continued. "The doctors want you to come here and say goodbye."

He didn't know how long it had been. Didn't know whether his heart moved to his throat or stomach. Didn't know how long he stood there, shock on his face. But he finally kicked himself into gear.

"No. No. What do you mean goodbye?! Sam is perfectly fine! No! Damn it Bobby I'm on my way. And you better give me an explaination." Dean growled in a menacing tone before hanging up the phone. And within three seconds he was in the newly rebuilt Impala and speeding off towards the hospital. This was not what he was expecting the first drive in freshly build Impala to go. But as he left he began thinking. Regretting each thing he said to his little brother.

 _-I said not right now. God, I can't place a bandage on everything for you. Take care of yourself for once!-_

 _-God why do you have to be such a baby! I don't want to talk!-_

 _-These are your issues, quit dumping them on me.-_

 _-I just think it's really interesting, this sudden obedience you have to Dad. Its like, 'Oh, what would Dad want me to do?' Sam, you spent your entire life slugging it out with that man. I mean, hell, you picked a fight the last time you ever saw him. And now that he's dead, now you want to make it right. Well, I'm sorry Sam but you can't. It's too little, too late.-_

"Shut up!" Dean barked at his voice playing over and over, playing the words that were designed to hurt his little brother when he was already hurting both mentally and physically.

 _-This is kinda what you wanted isn't it. You wanted to avoid Sam, didn't wanna talk to him. Didn't want him around. Well now you'll never have to avoid him, never have to talk to him. Never have to see him.-_

"No! That's not what I meant. Damn it Sammy you better be okay! This better be some stupid ass joke! Damn it!" Dean barked at absolutely nothing at all. Tears threatening to fall.

 _-Don't worry. By the time you get there it'll be 'too little too late'.-_

"No!" Was Dean's final cry before he reached the hospital. Barging out of the door and bolting into the hospital. Looking around and pleading for someone to guide him.

"Dean..." He was thankful that the voice came when it did.

"Bobby." Dean's worry and scarce were immediately replaced with rage. "What happened to my baby brother? Where. Is. Sam?" Dean growled menacingly.

"Sit down Dean." Bobby whispered a plead.

"No you tell me now." Dean spat.

"The accident you three were in, left your Daddy wounded and unconscious and you on deaths door. We all thought Sam got out of it unscathed. We were wrong on so many levels. When I was driving Sam to the hospital he passed out as I got him into the car and I found that he had stopped breathing by the time we got to the hospital. They took him in and needed surgery. He had a haemorrhage in his brain and they got it fixed as soon as they could, he had lost a lot of blood from nosebleeds, vomiting and coughing. As I was taking him here he was bleeding from the mouth. He had broken and cracked ribs." Bobby explained, not taking notice of how Dean had collapsed to the floor in complete shock until he had almost finished.

"B-Bobby... wha- Why do they think he isn't gonna make it?" Dean whispered, still not letting his tears fall.

"He slipped into a coma Dean. And they say that he isn't gonna wake up." Bobby told, kneeling down to Dean's level and comforting the kid as best as he could.

"Sam Winston!" A nurse called throughout the waiting room. Bobby stood up and walked towards the nurse, so Dean stood up and followed.

"We've met Doctor Mildred. This is Sam's brother, Dean." Bobby introduced.

"Nice to meet..." Dr Mildred began.

"Spare me the nice chit chat and lead me to my brother." Dean ordered.

"Yes sir, he's in I.C.U at the moment. I've spoken to Sam's doctor and he has allowed you both to stay past visiting hours, he thinks that you both should get as much time with Sam as you can. He maybe in a coma but he can still hear everything you say." Dr Mildred informed, leading Bobby and Dean towards Sam's room as she gave them the information.

"I take it Dean has been informed..." Dr Mildred spoke to Bobby.

"Yes, I know that you've failed and think my brother is going to die. But he's a fighter and won't die. He isn't allowed to die unless I say so. So please quit talking and let me see my brother." Dean growled.

"Dean," Bobby snapped, sure Dean was hurting, hell Bobby was hurting too. But the nurses and doctors were doing everything they could for Sam. It wasn't there fault that it just wasn't enough this time.

They were both led into I.C.U. Then led into Sam's room. And that's when Dean finally broke out into tears. Seeing Sam lay there so pale, so still. It looked like he was already dead. And Dean would've thought that if it weren't for the heart monitor.

"Oh God... Sammy." Dean whispered, sitting himself down on the chair next to Sam's still form and promising himself that he wouldn't leave until his little brother woke up, until his little brother was fine.

* * *

2 hours later...

"Do you remember when we were kids, we went out to the Impala and carved our initials. They're still there you know. I didn't get rid of them when I mended the car. They're still there." Dean spoke to Sam, Dr Mildred stated that if you speak to him, even in a coma. Sam could hear him.

"When you wake up we'll go on a vacation, how does that sound? After all the shit we've been through we deserve a little R&R. But in order to do that you've gotta wake up little brother, cause I ain't going without you. I'll never go without you." This kept on going, Dean speaking to an unconscious Sam. It had been going on for a while now, Bobby walking in and out with coffee or some sort of cafeteria food.

But Dean couldn't bring himself to eat, couldn't bring himself to do anything other than sit down next to his brother and talk about absolutely anything that came to mind.

"I know most of the shit I said must've added do whatever else was going on in that freaky head of yours. But I need you to know that I didn't mean any of it. I was upset and pissed and I was taking it out on you. But I need you to wake up now so than I can truly apologise." Dean whispered.

* * *

2 weeks later...

It had been two weeks, and Dean was slowly losing his mind. The doctors have already spoken about pulling the plug more than Dean would like to admit. And every time they ran off in fear due to Dean's rage of emotion. He wasn't gonna let Sammy die. He couldn't. Cause Sam wasn't dying. Not when his last words where shoving Sam away, not because of a car accident that had already taken one Winchester. Dean wasn't about to let it take two.

"Come on Sammy. The doctors say that you're not gonna make it. How about you open those eyes of yours and prove them wrong. You're a stubborn pain in the ass Sam. Show them that." Dean begged, still gripping onto Sam's hand as if his life depended on it. Because screw the chick-flick rule. Sammy was practically dying whilst there was nothing Dean could do about it.

"Kid?" Bobby questioned, walking into the room with a grim look on his face.

"What?" Dean wondered at what had made the old mad so upset.

"Dr Mildred came up to me again and mentioned pulling Sam's plug," Bobby commented, fearing Dean's reaction. This was always a hot topic for both of them. But Bobby was losing hope and knew something had to be done, he didn't wanna be selfish and he wanted to put Sam out of his misery.

"Shut up Bobby. We aren't letting them pull Sammy's plug. I won't let them." Dean growled.

"He's in pain Dean! He's in pain and he's dying. Mentally and physically Dean, we're already losing him. I wanna put him out of his misery and Sam would understand, Dean we're being selfish by keeping him here when we know that he's just not getting up from this." Bobby whispered, he had to get Dean to see what he was seeing.

"No! Damn it Bobby no! Sam ain't dying! He's gonna make it and we're gonna be alright! And who gives a damn about being selfish! If this is selfish than I am the most selfish guy on the planet because I am not losing my brother! One more word on the subject and you can leave. Clearly you've lost hope in Sam! I'm not gonna make that mistake!" Dean barked angrily.

"Don't talk to me like that boy. I'm just trying to get you to see the big picture here-" Bobby began.

"I don't care. I ain't losing faith on my brother. I've made that mistake before and look where it's gotten me." Dean whispered. And with that Bobby left.

"Come on Sammy. They're all losing faith." Dean begged.

"Well tell them to get help." A whispered and tired out voice spoke.

"Sammy?" Dean questioned in shock.

"It's Sam." He smirked but his eyes showed his pain.

"It's good to have ya back man." Dean smiled as he pressed the call button. _'God Sammy, I'm so sorry little brother.'_

"Good to be back. And awake." Sam whispered before falling back asleep. _'It's alright Dean, I forgive you. Everything's gonna be okay.'_

"Get some sleep Sammy." Dean whispered, and after he had a long, long talk with the doctors and Bobby, he would take in his own advice.

 _Yeah... everything was gonna be okay._


	2. 2 - Fall Too Far

**Chapter 2 - Fall Too Far**

 **.Pre-Series.**

Sam = Age 14 - 15

Dean = Age 19

 _John has a hunt that he doesn't want to involve Sam and Dean in. So, he leaves them in the most recent motel. Dean and Sam drift apart, Dean has better things that don't involve Sam. Sam has troubles that he doesn't want to involve Dean in. Then Sam starts breaking, and relies on an old friend. Yet when Dean forgets something important… and Sam suddenly falls. It all goes downhill. Literally._

 _'I don't mean to make Dean sound so cruel, but I had to do it to be able to get the story progressing. And because Imma Devil like that.'_

* * *

 **Sam**

Three weeks. Three weeks since Dad left us in this sad excuse for a town. Three weeks since Dean made new friends, friends who hate me. Three weeks since I was declared an outcast of the school. Three weeks since the world wanted me dead. I've tried talking about it all, only to be shot down. I've tried ringing Dad, only to reach his voicemail. I've tried talking to Dean, only to receive a glare. He wanted me to leave him alone, that's what I was doing.

I sat in the living room of this no-name motel, watching some random child's cartoon on the small ugly box television, it was the only thing on this television that didn't contain something I really didn't want to see. I held the knife in my hand, moving it around with ease. Dean was in the bedroom, on the phone with one of his newest friends. Reece, I think his name is. I'm not too sure, I stopped paying attention to what he said to me these days, it wouldn't be a first. Being that he didn't want to listen to me either.

I took a deep breathe in, not finding enough oxygen supporting my lungs, before softly breathing out again. A continuous problem, breathing patterns. Sometimes I forgot how to breathe, only when I needed my breath the most though, other times I just couldn't be bothered breathing. Sometimes I just couldn't breathe, yet when I could, I just didn't want to. Call be depressed, call me suicidal, I don't care. Wouldn't be the worst thing I've been called.

The nightmares are the worst, constant dreams that I know don't mean anything, that I know aren't real, but it doesn't stop me from having them anyway. Doesn't stop me from fearing that they are going to become true, because shit… they feel so real.

"Where are you going?" I asked, noticing that Dean was getting his jacket and keys, it's not like I cared anyway, he always seemed to be leaving me these days.

"Out, Reece called and he wants me to-…" I tuned out after that, not needing to hear the rest of his conversation, hoping that he at least remembered tomorrow. I knew deep down that he would forget, I mean, it's not like it's any important anymore. It's not like I care, but a part of me is still holding on to the fact that maybe he wouldn't. But who am I kidding, I can see it in his eyes. He's already forgotten.

"Did you remember your promise, you made two of them. And one of them was that you would hang out with me tonight." I whispered sadly, placing the knife on the table in front of me as I stood up to look at him, folding my arms to make myself seem bigger and stronger then I feel.

"Yeah, I know. But I figured you wouldn't mind, and I promised Reece I'd be at his party tonight. He's been trying to-…" I stopped listening once again, knowing that Dean was going into a ramble, I rolled my eyes. Not wanting to hear what he was going to say. "You understand, right?" Dean had asked, snapping me back into the conversation. He ruffled my hair lightly, before turning around to the door.

"No!" I barked out, making him stop as he went to open the motel door. "I don't understand why you always ditch me whenever you get a change!" I snapped angrily, walking towards him and slamming the door close. He wasn't going anywhere, I wasn't letting him this time. I needed him to stay, and no matter how much I would deny admitting it, I needed my big brother to stay with me tonight. It sounded selfish but I really didn't care. "I don't care what you promise your friends. We're drifting further and further apart Dean. And I'm sick of the constant silence. You always find something better to do whenever we're together, you always make promise you can't keep! Just stay here for tonight and tomorrow and then I promise you can do whatever! Please!" I pleaded, just needing him to stay. He looked at me with wide eyes before looking at the door. He was going to leave.

"What could be so important that you have to choose Reece over your own brother!" I angrily raged out, I was angry… hell… I was furious, no matter what I said Dean just wasn't getting it. It wasn't clicking into his head that I just wanted him… needed him to stay tonight. I needed him to remember tomorrow. Or I'd just lose hope altogether.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that Sam! We are with each other all the time, it's not my fault that you're suddenly clingy and needy for attention! I've given up my entire life for you and I didn't have to. I am going out with my friends whether you like it or not!" I could tell he was angry, but I didn't seem to care. I didn't really seem to feel anything other than pain and sadness.

"Why do you always have to leave me?" I whispered sadly, he had turned around to walk out of the motel. And it was a good thing too, because if he was looking at me… he would've seen my tears.

"Because they're just better then you." Dean growled, leaving the motel. I was shocked, I couldn't even move. I couldn't even be bothered to wipe the tears from my eyes. The tears that just kept falling no matter what I thought or did. My feet were glued to the ground. It was like a Demon was holding me in place. I just wanted to talk to someone, I began to move. Slowly, ever so slowly. I picked up my phone and called Dad, not to bitch about Dean or anything. But because I just needed someone to talk to right now.

 _Ring… ring… ring… ring._ I was scared that I would get his voicemail. _Ring… ring… ring._ I was terrified that he wouldn't pick up. _Ring… ring._ That I would be left along. _Ring… … …_

"Hello." His deep and gruff voice greeted through the phone, for a moment I couldn't speak. I closed my eyes in relief, it felt so good to hear a familiar voice again. "Hello." He growled, deeper this time. Demanding, ordering an answer. I opened my eyes, and for the first time in a while. I found myself smiling. Maybe there was hope.

"Dad…" I greeted, ever so happily.

"What's wrong?" Dad asked, I could hear his concern, and his confusion. I couldn't explain in words how I felt.

"Nothing's wrong, I just needed to talk to someone that's all." I informed.

"Well, I can't talk right now Sam. Where's your brother?" Dad asked, he sounded like he was about to hang up. The hope I thought to be there left, and as fast as my happiness, my smile came. The faster it left me.

"Dad please! Don't hang up, Dean went out to hang with some of his friends. I don't want to be alone.

"I'm working on a hunt Sam, I don't have time for chit-chat." Dad growled, hanging up the phone, for some reason, for some bizarre reason, my mind interpreted what he had said. Maybe it's what he really meant. _'I don't have time for you.'_ Because that's all I heard before he had hung up the phone.

I dropped the phone, I dropped to my knees. I just dropped everything. And I cried, I hated feeling alone, I hated the feeling of abandonment. Because that's how I felt, I felt abandoned, no one wanted to be around me. And I was desperate for something, anything. I didn't care if a Demon was torturing me, because at least I wouldn't be alone. I didn't care if a bully was spouting hateful words, because at least they were talking to me. I felt that alone, that I didn't care what happened. I was so desperate for something, anything. That I called the one person I hadn't spoken too in years, because of my Dad's stupidity and rules.

"Who in the world is calling me at this hour." His old-stuffy, slightly accented voice spoke through the phone. He had been sleeping, that much I could tell. I didn't want to speak, it wasn't that I couldn't. It was because I didn't want to. I was scared that he too would hang up the phone, and then I'd really be alone. He already sounded so angry, one word was all it would take for him to hang up. I breathed in, but when I breathed out, it came out shakily. My breathing hitched, and I hiccupped, and that was enough for me to burst out into tears. "Hello." He greeted again, much softer, much kinder. I didn't realise how much I missed hearing his voice.

"P-please don't hang up. I… I don't want to be left alone." I completely broke down. I couldn't talk, couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Couldn't feel anything but pain.

 _-It's not my fault that you're suddenly clingy and needy for attention.-_

But he was right. I was clingy. I was needy for attention. And if he hung up now. I don't know what I would do. I would be totally and truthfully left alone.

 _-Why do you always have to leave me?-_

 _-Because they're just better then you.-_

"I… I know you were s…sleeping. But just please… don't leave me alone." I pleaded, it was the only thing I could do. The only way I begged for him to stay.

"Sam?" He asked, trying to guess that it was me, he guessed right. I guess I really was clingy and needy.

"Yeah." I whispered, sniffling and hiccupping. My breathing scratchy from crying.

"Sammy, you listen to me, you are not alone. I'm not leaving until you want me to kiddo." Bobby informed sternly, I slightly felt better knowing that there was someone that wouldn't leave me. "I want you to stop crying Sam. Because I'm gonna talk and you're gonna listen. And then, we'll reverse it. Where you'll talk, and I'll listen. Understand?" Bobby ordered softly, not meaning it as an order, or a demand. But just wanting to make me feel better, and my heart soared through the pain at the thought that someone was willing to help me out of this depression.

"I understand." I responded, a small smile showing above my current sadness. I sniffled, wiping my eyes. Bobby was the only one that wanted to talk to me, he was the only one that found time to stay on the phone. And you know what…

He was the only one I wanted to talk to anymore.

* * *

"Get out of bed Sam! It's up time!" I shot up in awakening. My eyes probably puffy from all the crying. I immediately remembered the conversation with Bobby, how he listened to what I had to say. How he didn't judge me, and how he stayed with me no matter what I said or did. Showing more affection and consideration in the past few hours then I've been showed throughout the entire three weeks of being in this no-named motel. He promised he'd call me today.

But didn't Dean promise to spend time with me today. Although he promised the same thing yesterday. But today was more important. Because today I turned fifteen. May 2nd everyone. My birthday, and the only person other than me that seemed to remember was Bobby. I'm hoping I get a call from Dad, wishing me happy birthday. I'm hoping that for once Dean will keep a promise he made. But I doubt it all, the only thing I haven't lost hope in, the only person that hasn't let me down. Is Bobby. Why can't I just go live with him? It's already been proven that I'm not needed here anymore. And yet, I can help Bobby with so many things. I can help him with the cars he repairs, with the phones because he has so many. He can teach me more things in the next few years then I'll ever learn from being abandoned by my 'family'.

I walked out of the room, glancing at Dean who was on the phone, he looked like he was in a heated conversation. Probably with one of his friends. I didn't really care though. He could do whatever he wanted, now that I've got Bobby to make sure that I'm not alone.

I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and sat at the table, staring off into nothing, not really thinking about anything. It was all a rush inside my head, countless events leading up to where I am now. I was thinking that is… until Dean came into the room.

"Hey little brother." He greeted, grabbing his steaming coffee from the counter and sitting across from me. Maybe I was wrong, maybe he did remember.

"What's wrong?" I asked, noticing his angry expression. _Don't bite the Lion, he'll bite back._

"Just Reece. He's being a prick after last night. I helped him with a girl-…" He went off ranting again, and I couldn't be bothered to hear it. I was too tired. Thank god it was Saturday, I was not dealing with school on top of everything else today. I couldn't be bothered working on the homework I had, nor the assignment that I knew was due Monday. I didn't really care. I just wanted to be buried in a grave, never too be seen again. Depression… HA! Wasn't that an understatement. Try damn near suicidal.

"What's your plan for today?" I asked, after noticing that Dean had shut up. I hoped that he did remember, but I also had my doubts. He more than likely didn't. And I stopped caring whether he did. If he didn't, well, at least Bobby would remember.

"Well, I did promise to hang out with my little brother, unfortunately I broke that promise yesterday." What? He thinks he can just pull me in as a backup. A second choice. Bullshit. I was low, sure. But I wasn't that low.

 _-Why do you always have to leave me?-_

 _-Because they're just better then you.-_

I wasn't going to take it. Hell… no.

"So, what? I'm a backup now. Someone you only hang with once everyone else is out of the picture. Hell, no Dean. I'm not anyone's second choice!" I raged out angrily, standing up to make myself look stronger, once again feeling weaker than I was. But at least his eyes widened at my sudden snap.

"Who said anything about you being a second choice?!" Dean barked out, standing up, to face me. Silently challenging my anger. To see how far I could go. How far could I go? The answer… very far. You don't mess with a suicidally depressed person, because they've just got nothing to lose.

"What is today Dean? There's an important event, it's the reason why you made a promise for today in the first place. What is today?" I asked calmly, I could see the frustration in his eyes, the debate. The confusion. He was thinking about it… he had forgotten. Why am I not surprised? "What. Is. Today?" I growled out, demanding he tell me. I knew he forgot. But a part of me wished, prayed to whomever cared that Dean didn't forget, that he was just acting, pranking me. That he'd jump up and yell surprise. Whilst confetti flew everywhere and balloons appeared out of nowhere. A big 'Happy Birthday Sammy!' Sign hanging above us both. But that wasn't the case, instead… he just sat there, in debate, trying to harshly remember what he had forgotten.

"I give up… I don't remember. What's today?" Dean whispered, shrinking back into his chair, was it really that easy to forget? Was it really that hard not to remember? Was I really that worthless.

"Today is-…" I never got to finish my sentence. Because Dean's phone started to ring.

"That's Reece. We'll continue this conversation later okay." Dean sighed, he got up to walk away, but I couldn't let that happen. He needed to know what today was, I needed him to feel guilty. To apologise and for everything to go back to the way it was before we were dropped off here by Dad Three weeks ago… sorry… Four weeks now. It's Saturday. The same day we were dropped off. I wish he'd finish the hunt already. I wish he'd come back and pick us up.

"Hey Reece…" Dean greeted, he had almost exited the door when-…

"No!" I called out, rushing up to him and grabbing the sleeve of his jacket. "You can't leave me again. Not today. You promised me you'd stay. You would stay for today and then leave tomorrow. You promised damnit. You can't leave. Don't leave me again." I rambled. More and more words that wouldn't have made sense in anyone else's head but mine. Because I didn't forget what today was. I didn't forget how important this day was to me. I didn't forget how much I feared being abandoned. But he did.

"Sorry Reece. That's just my pestering little brother…. Yeah, I know. Give me a moment. Gotta get rid of him." Dean spoke through the phone before lowering it from his year and putting it on hold. "Get off me and go find something to do. I've gotta fix a friendship." Dean growled, pushing me away from him as I crashed on the ground.

"You've gotta fix a friendship. Oh, that's alright then. Because clearly the friendship means more to you then family. Blood before water dick." I growled from the ground, tears in my eyes.

"Are you crying again. Yeah, I've gotta fix a friendship. And I don't want some whiny brat in the way of it. Back off a little and find something to do." Dean sighed, turning around to face me. Looking down as I still hadn't moved from my position on the ground.

"Yeah! I am crying again! Because that's what people with depression and fear of abandonment do when people are abandoning them Dean!" I yelled angrily, looking up at him with pure rage.

"Abandonment? Depression? Someone's getting overdramatic. You're not depressed Sam, your just needy. And you're not being abandoned… you're just clingy." Dean growled, clicking the phone off hold and walking out of the room. There he goes again… needy and clingy.

 _-It's not my fault that you're suddenly clingy and needy for attention.-_

Clingy and needy huh? Is that was my big brother really thought of me?

 _-Why do you always have to leave me?-_

 _-Because they're just better then you.-_

I guess so. But right now I just needed to talk to Bobby. Now. But I couldn't bring myself to. I just had to run, I had to leave and never come back. I was sick of feeling this way. He was going to leave me again. So, why not leave him instead.

I stood up, knowing what I was going to do. But not knowing where I was going to go. I could go to Bobby's, he knew everything, I'd just go and he'd let me stay. I knew he would. I would have to go somewhere else first for a while. Bobby's was just too far away from this no-name motel.

I picked up my phone from the table, not caring about anything else before running out of the kitchen, I passed Dean who was in the living room, still on the phone. Instead of a heated conversation this time, I noticed a smile on his face. At least he'd be happier with me gone. I grabbed my jacket and threw it on, placing my phone in the pocket and zipping it up.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked, putting the phone away from his ear. He looked at me with anger, and confusion.

"Probably Pastor Jim's first, maybe Caleb. Going to Bobby's eventually. Just don't wanna be here anymore. Wanna be with one of them instead." I replied, looking around the room and taking my wallet with me. I had a few bucks in there that I had saved up for a bit. I'd be able to get food or something.

"Why?" Dean asked, walking towards me, he was going to stop me. He had concern plastered on his face, it made me want to stay. But I knew if I stayed, he'd just hate me more. He didn't get it, he didn't understand me. No one did. That's a lie… Because Bobby did. Bobby understood, he was the only person willing to talk to me. And that meant something to me. I wanted to hurt Dean, I wanted him to feel the same way I felt. Because I was angry, and I was hurt. I had to say this. I had to throw back the same words he threw at me. So, mustering all the courage I could, I placed my hand on the door handle, turned to look at him and said…

"Because they're just better then you." I turned and ran out the door. Leaving no room for argument, I didn't even know where I was running too. But I did run towards a massive nature reserve. Dean had promised he'd take me hiking there today, for my birthday. I guess I am going hiking. Just not with Dean. And not for sightseeing. Yet, right before I entered the forest I heard a heartbreaking call. It made me stop running. Made me want to turn back.

"SAM!" It was Dean, I could he the crack in his voice. He was hurt. And for some sick reason, that made me happy. I didn't have any hope left for him, or Dad. I didn't wanna talk to him, I didn't trust him anymore. I was just done. With everything. And I knew that there would come a time, soon. That I wouldn't want to be on the Earth anymore. That made me more depressed then I'd care to admit. I turned around, just in time to see Dean running towards me, he was still a fare distance away, but if I didn't start running soon, he'd gain on me. And quick. So, I high-tailed and bolted into the forest. "Sam!" I heard Dean's voice echo again, yet chose to ignore it. The farther I got into the nature reserve, the more his voice echoed through the trees. And the more the mocking birds learnt my name and started chiming it themselves. Making me feel that much more terrified of what was about to come. "Sam. Sam. Sam." The birds. "Sam! Come back!" Dean. Repeating as a mantra in my head. Non-stop. I was running from my brother, looking everywhere but where I was stepping. And that's when I fell. I fell down the steep ditch. "SAM! NO!" I heard Dean's cries. But it was all blacked out to me.

I used my arms to cover my face as I rolled down. Feeling my leg snap in an awkward angle, white hot pain soon catching up. It was burning, and god it hurt so badly. I cried out, noticing every time I landed on a part of my leg, it killed, and it levered up. Which only meant one thing, the bone was showing out of my leg. I retreated one of my arms and held it on my leg. My wrist snapped suddenly. And my head collided with a sharp rock. And soon I was flying. Before crashing into the ground. Feeling a snap in my collar bone. The birds mocking me by calling my name in their awful high-pitched tones. "Sam. Sam. Sam." It was too much.

I can't remember how long I was just lying in pain. Everything hurt. In and out, one moment I could see blurry images. The next it was just blank. I heard something, rustling. Leaves and twigs being crunched down. Before something… or someone cut off my blinding view from the sun. "Sam…. Something…. …. Sammy… god…. Bleeding everywhere." I only got parts of the worried voice, my ears were ringing too loudly to notice anything else. Then the ringing settled, and I could see clearly without blurriness. But I couldn't move, I couldn't move anything. It was peaceful, I was numb.

"Dean." I whispered, looking far beyond him. Why did I sound so small? Why was my voice so quiet? Why couldn't I get it any louder.

"Sammy, shit man. You're gonna be okay." I felt splashes of something hitting my face. I thought it was rain at first, but when I managed to look at Dean, with a heavy head I noticed that he was crying. Bawling his eyes out above me, I'd never seen him cry this much.

"I'm sorry. God Sammy I'm so sorry. You aren't depressed because I'm here now. You aren't abandoned because I'm never going to leave you again. I remembered, I remembered what today was. And I promised we'd go hiking in this forest didn't I little brother?" Dean sobbed. The almighty, powerful Dean was crying above me.

"You kept your promise." I whispered, unmoving. Barely seeing anymore. "I can't feel… anything." I murmured, coughing up whatever was pooling inside my throat. I thought it was flehm. Then I noticed the metallic taste, and the way Dean's eyes widened. "Fuck. No, no, no. I gotta move you little brother. Gotta get you to the hospital. You're going to be okay. Just don't leave me alone." Dean cried, looking all over me, trying to find something to help him. He noticed something on the side, picking it up and brushing dirt off it. My phone. He dialled a number, and relayed information. Ambulance. Guess he realised that he couldn't move me. I couldn't even move me.

"The irony…" I whispered, laughing. I don't know whether it was a laugh or a cough, maybe both. But I knew I cleared more blood from my throat.

"Don't talk Sammy. Please, God I'm so sorry. Just don't you leave me alone okay?" Dean begged hanging up the phone and just lightly placing a hand to my chest. There wasn't much else he could do. I don't understand why, sure it hurt. But I barely felt anything anymore. Physically and emotionally.

"Last night… and this morning. I was begging you not to leave me alone. And now look at how the tables have turned." I laughed, or did I cough. I can't even tell anymore, my head hurt too much to concentrate.

"I'm not leaving anymore Sammy. I'm staying right here. So, don't you go leaving me. Cause where you go I go. Deal?" Dean whispered, kissing my forehead.

"You haven't called me Sammy in four weeks." I stated randomly. "Where's Bobby?" I asked, needing to talk to him. "I was gonna go see him. Called him yesterday when everyone else left me. He… where's Bobby?" I asked, pleading for Dean to get Bobby for me. I looked towards Dean. Who was looking down, in his legs as they were bought up to his chest, crying harder than I've ever seen him cry. Then I realised that he was the exact same as me. Fearing abandonment. I placed all the strength I could, all the strength I had left. And I placed my non-broken wrist on the hand that was placed on my chest. Right above my heart. It hurt like hell too move. But I didn't care. I coughed once more. Feeling my throat clog up with the metallic tasting blood.

"Sammy please… I'll call Bobby for you once we're at the hospital. Please Sammy, be okay." This time he wasn't saying that I was okay. He just wanted me to be okay. And that's when I knew exactly what was happening. I didn't know what it looked like, I knew how it felt. At it felt quite peaceful.

"I'm dying." I stated. Because it was a statement. One that made Dean scream out my name, a plea for help. A plea for someone to make it all better.

"What's taking the ambulance so long?" Dean angrily demanded. I wrapped my fingers around Dean's hand. Lightly squeezing. I needed him to look at me. And it worked, because he looked at me.

"Dean… am I going to Heaven?" I whispered.

"No!" He shouted, in denial. "You are staying right here Sammy. I will not let you leave me." He growled. I needed to know where I was going when I died.

"I've done terrible things" I started rambling uncontrollably. Is this another sign that I'm dying? "I've lied, I've hunted and killed things. Thou shall not murder. I guess I might be going to Hell. After all, all hunters go to Hell. I don't wanna go to Hell. Don't wanna see the Devil." I pleaded, squeezing Dean's hand in fear.

"You're not going to Hell Sammy. You are way too good, kind, smart. You are way too you to go to Hell. You're gonna go see Mom Sammy. And you're gonna watch over me and Dad and make sure we don't get ourselves killed." Dean laughed, it wasn't a happy laugh. It was a sad one that bought more tears. "They aren't better than you. You are better than anyone else I've ever met. I need you to know that." Dean whispered. Leaning down and kissing my forehead, I suddenly felt a wave of pain, my vision going blurry, my ears began ringing.

"Love… you… De'n." I stumbled over my words, painfully coughing up what felt like a gallon of blood, pain etched into my expression. I noticed him crying more. Yet no matter what was happening, no matter how much I couldn't hear. I still managed to hear his voice, echoing in my head… loud and clear.

"Love you too Sammy. Hold onto that. Don't let anyone, or anything tell you otherwise. And when you can, you come back to me. I'll wait… always and forever… little brother." His voice drowned out into silence. And after a while I heard him humming. I recognized this song. Metallica… Mama Said.

I let go of his hand, my arm dropping onto the cold and scratchy ground, immediately feeling numb, and my vision finally going black. I was at peace.

"SAM!"

Dean…

* * *

"I apologize for your loss." He stated from the corner of the room, watching as all three men stood up, he glanced once at the small child lying in the bed. Machines no longer connected. The boy, dead.

"Who are you?" The older brother growled, not caring that the youngest was no longer in his body, his spirit gone. But blocking the stranger from attacking him anyway. The oldest of the three, the short man from the Salvage Yard. South Dakota. Grabbed a gun. They were in a motel room, mourning over the youngest's fall from the world.

"I must do this. Samuel Winchester is still needed within this world. His kindness and loyalty is still needed. He will save the world, be rid of the Devil himself. And he will become a legend. Both of good and bad authority. Samuel Winchester, must live." Was all he said before teleporting in front of the youngest, placing a hand on his chest to heal him, bring him back to life. And a hand on his head to awaken him.

Sam shot up, gasping for as much air as he could. Immediately turning to look at the figure who saved him. A blue-eyed man in a trench coat.

"Samuel Winchester, for as long as I am around. Never again… will you Fall Too Far."


	3. 3 - Rules of Abandonment

**Chapter 3 - Rules of Abandonment**

 **.Pre-Series.**

Sam = 17

Dean = 21

 **Sequel to 'Chapter 2 – Fall Too Far'.**

 _Dean still remembers the day he wished he would forget. Especially now that Sam has completely changed around him. He doesn't like going in public without Dean, doesn't wanna be left alone. His fear of abandonment stretched further than anyone thought possible. He doesn't even let Dean go out on his own without having a panic attack._

 _And sometimes… he just loses himself to manic hysteria._

 _I guess it's one of the side-effects of being bought back to life by an angel in a trench coat._

* * *

This is how they worked, this is what they did. And some days were better than others, whereas other days were worse. But they're just days, and they've got way more where this came from.

"What're we watching?" Dean asked as he jumped down on the couch next to his Sammy, who had immediately clung onto him and lay his head in Dean's lap. Dean, being used to this, wrapped his right arm around Sam's stomach as comfort, whilst the left arm was hanging loosely over the arm of the sofa, holding a beer. It was one of the days where they didn't have to worry about a case, they could just sit down and chill out together.

"Nightmare on Elm Street, the first one." Sam responded, not taking his eyes off the TV, but found that he could now breathe easier, and that his heartrate was going down now that Dean was here.

"Of course, we'd be watching that. Say Sammy, why don't we change it to something less… Supernatural related. I mean, the ghost of Freddy Kruger, even we could do better than that." Dean chuckled, grabbing the remote, ready to change the channel. Of course, he wouldn't change the channel unless Sam agreed to it first.

"Sure." Sam murmured, he'd do anything to make sure Dean didn't walk off again. He had already spent half an hour on the phone to their Dad, talking about the case their father wanted them to do whilst he was working on another one. It wasn't the first time their Dad had left them so they could do two separate cases, and it definitely wouldn't be the last. In fact, Sam and Dean had recently just finished a case on a Werewolf. As Dean was flicking through the channels, trying to find something to watch, Sam came up with a conversation starter.

"So, what was the case Dad wanted us to do?" He asked, turning so he was lying on his back, but his head still in Dean's lap.

"Can we leave the new case for tomorrow?" Dean groaned, just wanting to relax right now. "I mean, sure Dad gives us a new case but it can wait." He added, looking down at his little brother.

"I just wanna know what we're hunting." Sam shrugged. "Then we can leave tomorrow." He added, smiling kindly, in his own innocent way.

"Fine, we're hunting a Vampire, or a nest of Vampires. Not sure, that's what research is for my Geeky little brother." Dean replied, sending a silent hint that Sam was gonna get started in research when they started the actual case itself.

He still remembered what happed two years ago. He had lost his brother because of his own choice of abandoning, for a dick that didn't even care about him or his family. A dick that was just using him for the way he was with girls. If only Dean had seen what Reece was doing before his little brother ran out of the house the day he died.

It was like a constant nightmare, still reoccurring to this day. Every time he closed his eyes he was still haunted by the very moment his brothers hand left his and fell lifelessly on the ground. So, no one could really blame him when he said that he didn't want to watch any 'horror' movies. No one could really blame him when he became patient, or accepting of Sam's overgrown fear of abandonment. No one could blame him for allowing his little brother to hold on, when the last time he let go, he wasn't going to come back.

But he did. By some miracle someone came and said that they needed his little brother alive. It wasn't just Dean that needed his Sammy, but it was something over-powering him as a human, something that had the ability to bring his little brother back to life. Sam kept on saying that he was an Angel. Sooner or later, Dean would start believing it too. In fact, he didn't know what to believe. Other than the fact that he almost lost his brother that day. Hell… he did lose his brother that day. But, after everything… his little brother Sammy came back to him.

"What about this?" Dean asked, flicking the channel onto a random show called _'Pawn Stars'_.

"Sounds good to me." Sam replied, turning his body back so he could see the TV. Dean and Sam just sat, watching TV for a good while. Dean sipping on his beer, a little while later he went to take another sip. And realised it was empty. As Dean went to get up, all hell broke loose.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked in a rush, Dean could barely understand what he said, but knew to tread carefully, because this is how Sam got when his whole 'fear of abandonment' kicked in.

"I'm not going far. Just into the kitchen, I need another beer. It's okay Sammy, I'll be right back." Dean reassured, gently prying himself away from Sam.

"How long will that take?" Sam asked even faster than before, his eyes going wide at the knowledge that Dean was leaving, even if he was going to be in the other room. Sam didn't like it, not at all.

"Not long, just stay here." Dean ordered, but it all went unheard as Sam got up.

"I'm coming with you." He murmured, grabbing onto the sleeve of Dean's jacket.

"Don't you wanna stay and watch TV?" Dean asked, knowing that Sam was coming with him whether he gave him a reason to stay or not. Sam was in his 'fear' mode, and that meant that he would be clinging to Dean. Not that Dean cared, it was better than to have Sam here, then for him to still be dead.

"I'm. Coming. With. You." Sam told again, slower this time and looking directly up at Dean. Sam had hit a growth spurt over the past two years. But he was still a head smaller then Dean. But Dean knew this voice. Sam was scared. Borderline terrified. Going from normal to never wanting to leave Dean's side, it was a usual happening. And Dean was used to it by now.

"Okay, come on then." Dean smiled nicely, Sam let go of his jacket and followed him into the kitchen. As Dean went to get a beer, Sam went to go and answer the suddenly ringing phone.

"Hello." Sam greeted through the phone, not knowing who it was due to the private number.

"Hey Sam."

"Bobby!" Sam cheered excitedly, he was always super happy to hear from Bobby, ever since he had the realisation that Bobby was never going to abandon him, not like Dean would. Not like Dean still might, and that made him scared.

"How are ya Sammy?" Bobby asked, glad to hear the youngest Winchester's voice. He was always glad to hear his voice, even more so since he passed. Since the Angelic Creature bought him back to life.

"I'm good. It's good to hear ya Bobby." Sam smiled. Dean was always slightly jealous of how Sam would light up even when Bobby's name was mentioned in a conversation. But he also owed Bobby his life for being there for Sam when he hadn't been. It just resulted in Sam connecting himself with Bobby in a way he connects with Dean. Except Dean knows that their brother bond was much stronger, or Sam would be clinging onto Bobby instead of Dean.

"It's good to hear from you too Sam. Hey, is your brother around?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, he's right here. Want me to put you on speaker?" Sam replied, looking towards Dean. Dean opened the beer bottle and looked at Sam with concern.

"No, this is something I have to discuss with your brother." Bobby commented. Sam immediately moved the phone and gave it to Dean. He didn't want to disappoint Bobby, but was still slightly upset that Bobby didn't call to talk to him, he called to speak with Dean instead.

"Hey Bobby." Dean spoke through the phone, watching as Sam sat down at the kitchen table of their latest no-named motel.

"Hey Dean, how's that brother of yours doing? Had any moments yet?" Bobby asked, concerned for the youngest.

"Almost had one before, but I fixed it. Like always." Dean replied, filling Bobby in without giving a hint to Sam that Dean was talking about him.

"Okay. And what about you, haven't snapped or anything yet?" Bobby wondered.

"How could I snap? After what happened? I feel better when he's having one of his moments, or when he's clingy. Let's me know that he'll always need me." Dean replied, by this point Sam had caught onto the conversation, and was giving Dean a look of confusion. Dean just gave Sam a thumbs up in response.

"I just called to see how you and Sam were doing. I know how excited that kid gets when I tune in." Bobby commented.

"Alrighty well. I should hand him the phone then. It was good to hear from you Bobby." Dean smiled, knowing that the old-Hunter couldn't see the smile. But it truly was good to hear from Bobby, after spending a while from not hearing him at all.

"You too Dean, take care of yourself okay." Bobby ordered.

"Will do." Dean replied before taking the phone from his ear and handing it back to Sam, a smile immediately coming back to his features after the muffled voice of Bobby began talking to him.

Sam looked back at Dean and snickered. "I will but you know how he is." Sam smiled, Dean knew they were talking about him, but he didn't care. Because as soon as Sam smiled, so did he. "Yep, sure thing Bobby. You too. Buh-bye." Sam finished up, before hanging up the phone. "I like it when he calls." Sam stated with a smile.

"Me too Sammy, me too." Dean agreed, just watching his little brother before setting how now empty beer on the counter. "Now, we better get some sleep, we've got a long drive and a big hunt tomorrow. Early start." Dean commented, moving around to exit the kitchen.

"Wait!" Sam called, Dean stopped right before he exited the doors, turning around to see Sam, wide eyed and scared. Sam stood up and walked to Dean. Stopping when he was right beside Dean. "Now go." He finished. And Dean realised that he was about to walk away from Sam.

 _-Stupid move Dean… stupid move.-_

He shook the thought away and continued into the bedroom, discarding his jacket and jeans before getting into bed. Noticing Sammy doing the same.

"Goodnight Sam." Dean whispered.

"Goodnight Dean." Sam responded before the lights were turned off.

* * *

" _I can't feel… anything."_

" _I'm dying."_

" _Love… you… De'n."_

" _SAM!"_

" _I was begging you not to leave me alone."_

" _I'm dying."_

" _I'm dying."_

" _I'm dying."_

" _SAM!"_

"SAM!" Dean shot up in awakening, covered in sweat and shaking from the recent nightmare. The same nightmare that he still had to this day. All about the day two  
years ago. TWO YEARS AGO! And he was still haunted by the events that took place. Looking to the side he noticed it was only 4:15AM, still needing to go back to sleep but not having the willpower to do so he looked over at Sam. Who himself, was having a nightmare.

Tossing and turning in his sleep, a frown on his face and his shoulders tense. Whimpering, whispering, pleading for Dean to stop. The word 'No, please' whimpering from his voice every now and again. And Dean knew that Sam was having his own series of nightmares from that day two bloody years ago. The same day they'd _both_ never forget. And of course, with the Winchester luck, it just had to be on Sam's birthday.

Dean got out of his bed and walked towards Sam. Needing to wake his little brother up, needing for Sammy to just _be okay._ Yet not knowing the right words to say. Dean was never good at the whole chick-flick talks. Everyone knew that, it was usually Sam, in his own empathetic, sympathetic mind that people could find comfort in. They were told what they wanted to know by going to Sam for advice. When going to Dean, they were told the truth, no matter how much it hurt.

"Sammy." Dean whispered lightly, trying to gently awaken Sam, he sat on the edge of his bed, placing his right hand on Sam's cheek and the other on the bed to level himself up.

"Dean… please… no." Sam was crying. Begging Dean, he knew that Sam was begging for Dean not to leave him. They've played this same game way too many times to forget the rules.

"I'm not going anywhere Sammy. I'm staying right here." Dean whispered, lying down beside his brother and placing an arm over his torso to calm him. And like always, it worked. Sam's shoulders untensed, his frown disappeared, making him look much more peaceful. He stopped moving around and begging Dean not to go. Dean closed his eyes, calm with feeling the rhythm of Sam's beating heart. He closed his eyes and fell back to sleep.

Dean woke up, this time not in fear. But in full energy. Stretching his arm out to feel for the missing seventeen-year-old, but finding that Sam was no longer in bed. Dean shot up fearfully then. Looking around the room, if Sam wasn't in the bed then he had to be somewhere in the motel. Different thoughts running through Dean's mind. What if…? No, he couldn't think anything negative, there had to be a reasonable explanation for Sam's departure. And if not, then Dean would kick his ass. Sammy never left Dean's side, unless he was in his adventurous type mood, but that never lasted long. He never went too far, because of his fear of abandonment.

Dean got out of bed, walking out of the bedroom and into the living room, not seeing any sight that Sam had been in the living room, yet hearing the faint sound of tapping. Walking into the kitchen, following the tapping. He saw Sam on the laptop, sitting down beside him, Dean wondered what he was doing.

"What're we researching this time my Geeky little brother?" Dean breathed out in relief, knowing that his brother didn't leave. Sam, who was elated that he could now see Dean, and Dean was now talking to him. Grabbed hold of the shirt above Dean's chest. Making sure Dean couldn't leave him.

"Autophobia." Sam whispered, he always spoke in whispers when he was fearful. But spoke loudly when either working a hunt, or when he was reassured that Dean wasn't going anywhere.

"What's that? And when did we decide on using big words Geek-Boy?" Dean asked. Sam, in response turned the laptop so it was facing Dean, who decided to read out loud.

"Autophobia, fear of isolation. A dread of being alone or isolated. Sufferers need not be physically alone, but just to believe that they are being ignored or unloved. Why the hell are you researching this?" Dean asked, hiding his worry. It wasn't enough to know that Sam just had to be alone in a room to make his abandonment issues occur, but now they could happen when he _believes_ he's being ignored or unloved, whether that be true or not was up to his own mind.

"Because I wanted to know what's wrong with me, but now that I know I'd rather not know. What if you don't leave me physically, but instead I think you're leaving me mentally Dean. Why is everything so messed up?" Sam responded with question, clearly upset and hating his phobia, it was one of the worst phobias to have. Given that they were hunters, and hunters needed to separate on cases every now and again. Hence why John had left for a completely different case, almost on the other side of the State.

"Well now we just have to be careful. And pack up because we got places to go and monsters to hunt." Dean smiled kindly. Shutting down the laptop and packing it into Sam's duffle. Sam stood from the chair and followed Dean into the bedroom, making sure to grab all of his essentials before packing them neatly into his duffle, whereas Dean just threw his belongings in without a care in the world.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, take a leak and pack what's in there, why don't you start packing your stuff into the Impala once you're done?" Dean asked, looking towards Sam who's eyes immediately widened at the thought of not being able to see Dean.

"Um… s-sure… yeah… okay. Can do…" Yet, Sam still wanted to prove that he wasn't Autophobic, that he was able to be by himself and do things on his own, that he wasn't completely useless for hunting. "Uhhh… pack the Impala… got it…" he mumbled, turning around and making sure everything was in his duffle.

 _-What're you doing?! Stop! Dean's gonna leave you alone! You can't be left alone!-_

"It's okay…" Sam whispered, exiting the motel room and walking towards the Impala. "You're okay, everything's okay. Nothing's gonna happen. Dean's just in the bathroom." He continued to reassure himself that everything was fine. He couldn't let himself believe that everything was doomed now that he was alone and not in the safety of Dean's aura.

 _-Look around you! You're alone! Alone! Alone! Isolated!-_

"Shut up… I'm fine… it's okay." Sam opened the trunk to the Impala, and placed his duffle, backpack and a few of the shared belongings inside. Now all that was needed was the toiletries backpack and Dean's duffle. Sam closed his eyes, leaning himself against the back of the Impala, just to make sure he didn't fall. Breathing in and out, slowly.

 _-ABANDONED!-_

"No!" Sam gasped out, opening his eyes and looking around him fearfully. He couldn't be alone, refused to be left abandoned. "Dean!" Sam cried out, not able to move. Then, flashes of two years ago came back.

* * *

 **Flashback**

" _No!" I barked out, making him stop as he went to open the motel door. "I don't understand why you always ditch me whenever you get a change!" I snapped angrily, walking towards him and slamming the door close. He wasn't going anywhere, I wasn't letting him this time. I needed him to stay, and no matter how much I would deny admitting it, I needed my big brother to stay with me tonight. It sounded selfish but I really didn't care. "I don't care what you promise your friends. We're drifting further and further apart Dean. And I'm sick of the constant silence. You always find something better to do whenever we're together, you always make promise you can't keep! Just stay here for tonight and tomorrow and then I promise you can do whatever! Please!" I pleaded, just needing him to stay. He looked at me with wide eyes before looking at the door. He was going to leave._

" _What could be so important that you have to choose Reece over your own brother!" I angrily raged out, I was angry… hell… I was furious, no matter what I said Dean just wasn't getting it. It wasn't clicking into his head that I just wanted him… needed him to stay tonight. I needed him to remember tomorrow. Or I'd just lose hope altogether._

" _Don't you dare talk to me like that Sam! We are with each other all the time, it's not my fault that you're suddenly clingy and needy for attention! I've given up my entire life for you and I didn't have to. I am going out with my friends whether you like it or not!" I could tell he was angry, but I didn't seem to care. I didn't really seem to feel anything other than pain and sadness._

" _Why do you always have to leave me?" I whispered sadly, he had turned around to walk out of the motel. And it was a good thing too, because if he was looking at me… he would've seen my tears._

" _Because they're just better than you." Dean growled, leaving the motel. I was shocked, I couldn't even move. I couldn't even be bothered to wipe the tears from my eyes. The tears that just kept falling no matter what I thought or did. My feet were glued to the ground. It was like a Demon was holding me in place._

 **End of Flashback**

* * *

"Sammy! Sam! Look at me!" Sam turned his eyes, facing the one calling him. He could barely hear above the ringing of his ears. Could barely see through the blurriness of his eyes. Yet even though it was all foggy, he just knew from the light pitter pattering on his face that it was Dean. It made him feel slightly comfortable, but it also made him realise that he couldn't breathe.

"De'… better… better th'n me…" Sam coughed, trying to breathe. But finding it incredibly difficult.

"I'm here Sammy, don't talk okay. Just breathe. Look, follow my breathing." Dean grabbed hold of Sam's hand and placed it on his heart. Hoping that by feeling his heartbeat, Sam would calm down. And eventually, Sam did calm down. "They're not better then you buddy." He murmured, knowing Sam couldn't hear him.

"Let's hall ass, I wanna put as many miles between us and this place as possible." Sam got to fully look at Dean, who was dressed differently and ready to go. A smile on his face.

"Didn't leave." Sam stated strongly, mostly talking to himself. Partly talking to Dean. Happy and relieved that his brother didn't leave him. That his brother didn't want to leave him.

"And leave you stranded here on your own. Please, have faith in me little brother." Dean chuckled, trying to make it seem like a joke. But just wanting to get in the car, just needing his little brother to get out of his Autophobic mood and go back to normal.

The drive there was quiet, not an awkward kinda quiet, but a peaceful kinda quiet. Everything that needed to be said was already spoken through the silence. Other than the low volumed voice of Metallica keeping things slightly less quiet. But no voice was spoken to break the silence. Both brothers were just… quiet.

Sam seemed to be doing better though, throughout the entire drive there he didn't really speak, but he didn't cling onto Dean either. And when they arrived at the town of their latest Vampire case, both getting out of the car and heading into the front desk to get themselves a motel room for however long they'd be there. Sam didn't immediately rush to Dean's side, he kept his cool. Telling both Dean and Sam that his Autophobic moments were over. For now, at least. But neither of them knew when it would spike up again.

"You check us in and I'll get start getting the bags from the trunk." Sam was the one to suggest the separation, it wasn't that surprising, usually when he was in 'Normal-Sam-Mode' he was… well… normal. Yet still, Dean continued to keep an eye on him, just making sure that the now known as Autophobia didn't arise.

Dean still couldn't believe that Sam's fear of abandonment was an actual fear that other people had, granted they probably didn't have it due to the same reasons Sam had it, because their brothers probably weren't complete idiotic, dipshits at the time. Yeah, Dean was totally getting the 'Best Brother of the Year' Award.

The brothers walked into the motel, dropping their bags on their usual beds, Dean with the one closest to the door, Sam with the one furthest away. Yet both knowing that they would end up in each other's beds during the night, _stupid nightmares_.

"I was thinking…" Dean began, knowing that Sam heard him whether his brother looked at him or not.

"That's never a good sign." Sam chuckled as he got out his laptop and went to the kitchen table to begin researching.

"Funny Geek-Boy. How about we go down to the bar tonight? Ask questions about the recent killings, might be able to get some information that you won't find on that device that you're so intrigued with." Back to the playful banter, knowing that his brother wasn't in a sensitive state, playful banter was always a good sign.

"I don't know. I have a feeling you're just gonna go off and either hustle pool until some chick comes up to you, or you're just gonna go find some chick instead." Sam smirked, knowing exactly what his brother had in mind, and it wasn't research.

"Oh, come on Sammy, a man has got needs." Dean pleaded, shutting the lid of the laptop playfully.

"Hey!" Sam grumbled, opening the laptop back up again, having to turn it on and find the part he was up to within his research, Dean rolled his eyes. The amount of research this kid could do in a matter of minutes was flawless and always seemed to amaze him. Although Dean was happy because it meant that he barely had to do any of the research. Sam looked towards Dean, seeing a bright smile on his face, not wanting to take that smile away Sam nodded his head and agreed. "Fine, we can make an appearance."

Yet Sam didn't know that this was a slight test. Dean was going to set it up so Sam was almost going to be alone all night, just to see how far gone his 'Autophobia', _-bloody name-_ really was.

Dean cheered, fist pumping the air at the agreement of Sam, happy that his little brother hadn't caught on to his plans. "Yes!" Was the only excited response Dean could conjure up.

"But as soon as I see you flirt with some girl I'm gone, I know full well what you plan to do and you don't need me there for it." Sam chuckled, typing away on the computer he adored so much.

"Good enough for me Geek-Boy. Imma go shower, then unless you wanna shower we'll head off for dinner then the bar." Dean commented, walking towards the shower slowly, waiting for a response.

"I had a shower this morning, don't need another one. Go for it." Sam stated, not taking his eyes off his laptop, but still rolling them at the nickname Dean had.

"Geek." Dean murmured before grabbing a change of clothes, a towel and the toiletries bag to unpack in the bathroom. Hoping that Sam's Autophobia was long gone for at least this entire Vampire hunt.

"Right, I'm off to hustle. Get your Geek-Boy ass off your laptop and socialize with people Sammy. Have fun." Dean stated, ruffling his brother's hair before walking away before hearing a response, he stood at a pool table that gave him a perfect view of his little brother, not wanting to take his eyes off him in case Sam started to have one of his attacks.

"Ya play?" Some biker dude with some sorta weird, yet country like accent spoke beside Dean, who had looked towards him and raised his eyebrow at the competition.

"I used to play. But gave up because I just kept on loosing." Dean lied through his teeth, yet he didn't have to know that. Dean snuck a quick glance towards Sam, who was unsurprisingly still on his laptop. He rolled his eyes before turning back to face the biker dude.

"Names Raelyn." He commented, holding his hand out with a cheeky smile that Dean recognized as his own.

"How the hell do you spell that?" Dean asked with a chuckle. "Names Dean." He added unconsciously giving his real name. Oh well, what harm could it do?

"Nice ta meetcha Dean, names spelt R.A.E.L.Y.N. Different I know, but in my family different is better than the normal ya see 'round ya today." Raelyn chuckled.

"Amen to that Raelyn." Dean smirked.

"Wanna play? Betcha $300 for winners." Raelyn offered, Dean's eyes widened at the offer, jeez, even rich-ass people didn't go for that much on the first game. "I know I'm throwin' money 'round like no tomorrow, but I have a strong feelin' that imma win this." He added with a smirk.

"You're on Raelyn." Dean smiled, completely forgetting about keeping an eye on Sam as he began playing with his newfound friend.

Sam however, was still seated at his table, sneaking swift glances towards Dean to make sure he was okay, and seeing the biker didn't help relief his tension. Dean was gonna hustle that guy, and he wasn't gonna respond well to it.

"Hey, what're ya doin' in a bar? Ya look underage?" A girl came up to him and asked.

"So, throw me out." Sam stated, not paying attention, just watching the biker guy and making sure his brother wasn't in any trouble.

"I would. If I wasn't concerned, doesn't look like ya drinkin' anythin', just looks as if ya watchin' someone. Which one and what's his name?" The girl asked, taking a seat in front of him, Sam turned to look at her in confusion. So, she wasn't going to kick him out? She had long, scruffy red hair, bright blue eyes and freckles. She was pretty, but Sam knew that there was something off about her. As soon as anyone sane got note of an underage kid being in a bar they wouldn't risk it with the police, they'd kick him out straight away.

"One with the brownish worn out leather jacket, gold necklace. The biggest one of the two playing pool over there." Sam informed, what could go wrong with telling her? Even if there was something wrong. She would already know who they are. Because she hadn't kicked him out.

"What's his name? Why are ya staring at him like he's gonna disappear any moment?" She wondered, kindness in her eyes, she had a weird country accent, he hadn't heard it before. Should Sam tell her? Tell her his greatest weakness. It would do more harm than good, so he decided to keep quiet.

"His names Dean." Sam stated, and could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew now was an appropriate time to stop asking such personal questions about him. Because he wasn't giving her any answers anytime soon.

"He ya boyfriend or somethin'?" She wondered with a slight chuckle.

"EW! NO!" Sam laughed. "Dean's my brother." He continued to laugh, not really knowing why everyone thought they were in a relationship, it wasn't the first time someone had made a comment or asked a question like that. But it always made Sam laugh because he knew exactly the reaction they'd get from Dean.

"Of course, I can kinda see the resemblance." She smirked.

"You can?" Sam asked casually, he sure as hell couldn't see the resemblance between him and Dean.

"Yeah, I catch onto these things quickly kid." She winked playfully at him, not in a seductive way, just a playful way, like she was gonna cause trouble or something. Sam threw all his questions out the window; this girl was nice. He didn't know why he thought different, because she was just different. Maybe she just wanted a friend or something.

"My names Serena, the biker lookin' guy with ya brother, that's my boyfriend Raelyn. That's why I wanted to come over here, I figured since our two are talkin' we might as well get to know each other." Serena smiled.

"Sam." Sam introduced with a smile of his own before looking back towards Dean, not in worry of him being thrown against a wall and stabbed, but just making sure he was still there. And he was, this time sitting on a different table enjoying a drink with his newfound friend.

"How do you spell Ray-Lan?" he asked curiously, not knowing the name.

"Rare name huh? Spelt R.A.E.L.Y.N. And it suits him, he's a pretty rare person." Serena replied, noticing that Sam kept his eyes on his brother.

"So, why're you lookin' at him like ya scared he'll leave or somethin'?" she wondered curiously. What harm would it do to tell her? She obviously just wanted to be his friend. Just like Raelyn wanted to be Dean's.

"I have this weird thing. I've had it since I turned fifteen, in fact it kinda came up on my birthday. Autophobia. But it's incredibly bad. I'm alright now, but I just have these days where it gets the better of me." Sam informed.

"I know what Autophobia is. My little sister had it." Serena looked down sadly.

"Had? What happened?" Sam asked, immediately regretting the question. "Sorry! Didn't mean to pry or anything." Sam whispered after seeing how depressed her expression got.

"It's okay Sam. She's in a better place where she no longer has Autophobia. She was killed in a feud between our parents. Our Dad killed her all because she relied too much on me to keep her safe." Serena whispered sadly, yet slightly in anger. Sam gasped in shock, he couldn't even imagine his father killing him because of his fear of abandonment. In fact, throughout the timespan he's had it, John has been much more careful and considerate around him.

"Well, Autophobia or not. I'm glad I've met you." Sam smiled, lightening up the mood. He held out his hand for her to shake.

"Glad I metcha too Sam." She smiled kindly, shaking his hand in response. Yet Sam felt something at the touch, and his complete mood changed to alert. She felt… cold. And when he touched her… he saw… darkness. It reminded him of…. Death.

Oh shit. He looked towards Dean, only realising that Dean wasn't there.

"I-I have to go." Sam stuttered, shutting his laptop and getting up from his seat.

"What's wrong Sam?" Serena asked, she _looked_ concern. But Sam didn't know what she was really thinking. He didn't know how he saw, or what he saw, but he trusted it to tell him that she wasn't natural.

"N-nothing. I've just gotta go. Dean's probably on his way to the motel or something." Shit! He just gave away where they were.

 _-Shut up Sam. Shut up. Just stop talking.-_

"Don't worry about Dean, he's probably out with Raelyn." Serena reassured with a slight chuckle, now that Sam knew what he knew, the chuckle sent shivers down his spine. She wasn't good. And he had stupidly told her too much.

"I'm too young to be here anyway. I gotta go." Sam stuttered, quickly turning around and walking out. She didn't follow him, which was a really, _really_ good sign. Or so he thought.

* * *

As soon as Sam got back to the motel he called out Dean's name. Yet, Dean wasn't there.

"No! No, he hasn't. He's been kidnapped. That's all, I'll find him." Sam promised himself, placing the laptop on his bed. He refused to have one of his Autophobic moments, he refused to let Dean down when he could be in trouble.

He wrestled through his pocket to get his phone, even if he wanted to hide his panic, he couldn't. He was scared, hell… he was terrified. Dean had to pick up.

 _Ring… ring… ring… ring…_ He wasn't answering, he had to answer. They couldn't have caught them both of guard. They couldn't have gotten his brother. _Ring… ring… ring…_ "Please Dean, answer your phone." _Ring… ring…_ "No, no. Dean answer me you dick!" _Ring… "You've reached Dean. Leave a message."_ "Dean pick up your phone, you always answer. Please call me. We gotta talk about something."

Soon, Sam snapped. Dean always answered his phone, never left it off and never left the battery to die. Especially if they were parting ways. What if something happened? What if Dean was dead? What if Dean wasn't coming back?

 _-What if he left?-_

Sam grabbed the table lamp from the coffee table in front of the sofa and threw it across the room. He was angry, he was worried. And he didn't know how to control it. This wasn't Sam worried about abandonment… okay, maybe it was… a little bit. This was Sam worried that something had happened, and he had been to careless to keep an eye on him.

So, he tried again. _Ring… ring… ring… ring…_ "Why aren't you answering your phone." _Ring… ring… ring…_ What if something happened? What could happen? What if they kidnapped him? What if they were torturing him? Draining him of his blood. _Ring… ring…_ It was obvious that they were Vampires. But Dean could handle himself… right? _Ring… "You've reached Dean. Leave a message."_ "Dean if you don't answer your phone… if you don't call me back. I will bring you back here and kill you myself. Raelyn is evil okay. I met his girlfriend or 'mate' or whatever. They're the Vampire's Dean!" Sam ordered angrily. In fact, he was furious. "Call me back."

Maybe he should try waiting for a bit? Maybe Dean was okay? Maybe he was just out with Raelyn? Maybe he really was fine? Bullshit. They were all 'maybe's'. Sam knew that in their line of work, Dean was more dead than alive right now. But he made himself wait. Ordered himself to stay still and wait for Dean to return, or at least let him know he was safe.

Sam grabbed a pillow from his bed and threw it across the room, realising it didn't satisfy him, he grabbed a glass cup and threw that instead. Soon realising that he was destroying the entire room, flipping the tables and chairs, smashing everything. Breaking it all. This wasn't Sam in panic mode, this was Sam in a manic mode. Soon reaching manic hysteria mode. And it wasn't looking good.

Half an hour past, or, if you asked Sam. He'd say hours passed. The room was completely messed. And Dean had yet to answer. Sam looked towards the alarm clock, realising he'd broken that too, so he checked his watch instead. 11:43PM. If he was with a girl he'd at least call, or leave his phone on. Sam tried calling again, figuring he left it long enough.

 _Ring… ring… ring… ring…_ "DEAN!" _Ring… ring… ring…_ "ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONE!" _Ring… ring…_ "YOU HAVE A PHONE FOR A REASON YOU JERK!" _Ring… "You've reached Dean. Leave a message."_ "Please… Dean. I-… I'm scared. Just… just let me know you're okay. At least let me know you're okay. Love you."

Sam was done being nice. He was done trying to hold it all in. So, rage immediately filled his mind. Spreading through him like wildfire. If the motel room wasn't completely destroyed before, it sure was now.

* * *

A little while of destruction, and Sam in between both freaking out, mental rage and losing his mind completely. Dean decided it was an appropriate time to walk through the door, smiling and laughing like nothing was wrong. Once turning around, his smile dropped and his eyes widened at the mess. Nothing in the room was the same. It was all destroyed. Except his things. His bed, his duffle bag, his backpack. Everything that belonged to Dean was fine. The rest on the other hand, was… everywhere. There were even holes in the damn walls. And Sam wasn't anywhere in sight.

"Sam!" Dean called. Looking around the mess, stepping over clusters of wood, glass, paper, material. Everything was a mess. And it made Dean realise that this was a complete new side of Sam's mania. If this was Sam at all. It could've been something else. Something looking for him or his brother. And that freaked Dean out.

"SAM!" Dean called again, not seeing any sign of forced entry, or blood, just signs of forced anger. Maybe this was Sam. It sure didn't look like something his brother would do.

"Where were you?" Dean shot around and saw his brother. Seated on the ground in between the beds, just staring off into nowhere.

"I was out with Raelyn, he's-…" Dean was cut off.

"I know who he is Dean. If you had answered your phone, or even checked your messages. You'd realise who he really was too." Sam growled, his voice dangerously low. He wasn't angry, Dean knew that. He was just in a form of mania that Dean had never even seen before. Mainly because he never let it get this far. But, now that it has. Dean didn't know how to control it. He didn't know how to get his usual Sammy back.

"You didn't leave a-…" He was cut off again.

"Check your phone." Sam ordered, standing up and looking, accusingly at Dean. Who in response, got out his phone and turned it on. 3 missed calls. All from Sam. Shit. He screwed up. To see if it would help, he played the messages, placing the phone on loudspeaker.

" _Message One." - "You've reached Dean. Leave a message." - "Dean pick up your phone, you always answer. Please call me. We gotta talk about something."_ Okay, so this was normal Sam… When did it turn into this Sam?

" _Message Two." - "You've reached Dean. Leave a message." - "Dean if you don't answer your phone… if you don't call me back. I will bring you back here and kill you myself. Raelyn is evil okay. I met his girlfriend or 'mate' or whatever. They're the Vampire's Dean! ... … …. … Call me back."_ Damn… okay partially angry Sam. But not enough to cause this. Lucky last… right?

" _Message Three." – "You've reached Dean. Leave a message." - "Please… Dean. I-… I'm scared. Just… just let me know you're okay. At least let me know you're okay. Love you."_ Oh shit… breaking point. When was it sent? Eleven PM, what time is it now? Three PM! Oh Hell, breaking point. Definitely.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise-…" he was cut off by a cluster of hysterical laughter. Okay, manic hysteria. This was the Sam that Dean could deal with.

"You didn't-… You didn't realise." Sam laughed. "Please. Don't feed me your bullshit." He growled. "I was sitting here, all night basically begging for you to be okay. Wondering whether you were dead." Back to laughing. This was the Sam that Dean knew what to do with. "I was… I was terrified that I'd never see you again. I tried to-…" Dean cut off, Sam was in rambling mode. He was winding down. All Dean needed to do was reassure and listen. Make sure that Sam knew he was now here. His little brother was falling again. And after two years of nothing but staying up, making sure his that Sam was up with him. Dean couldn't let him fall back to what he was on the day he died. Sam was going to bolt, and Dean could see it. So, before he bolted, before he got himself killed… _again_ … he had to do something.

"Sam. I'm sorry." Dean whispered, pulling Sam in for a hug. Knowing full well that Sam would resist at first, and then break down. This part… this part wasn't part of his plan. Leaving Sam to hang with a Vampire. That wasn't the plan either. Leaving Sam to worry this much… damn. Nothing went to plan. And that's why Sam was in this state. Because Dean didn't even know his phone was ringing. He was having too much fun. With a damn Vampire. But he had some helpful things to say, his girlfriend Serena, her sister had Autophobia. And Dean got some helpful advice. Advice Raelyn called Rules of Abandonment. And Dean was right. Sam did try to resist. Until he couldn't anymore, and instead of trying to push Dean away, the small, seventeen-year-old grabbed hold of Dean's shirt and cried.

"I was scared. Shit, I was so scared. Please don't leave me. Please. I don't want to be alone. Why did you leave me alone?" Sam sobbed. Not letting go, not even giving Dean a hint that he was letting go.

 _-Because they're just better than you.-_

"I didn't leave you alone Sammy. I'm right here." Dean's voice was a mere whisper to Sam, who had barely heard it.

"No. No, no. They can't be better! They're Vampires!" Sam panicked, trying to push Dean away again.

"They aren't better." Dean reassured, going along with the workings of his little brothers twisted up mind. Trying to untie the knots. "They aren't better then you. No one is better than you." That's when he came up with the idea. Saying what he said two years ago, saying what he still remembered to this day. And luckily. It worked.

"Love you Sammy. Hold onto that. Don't let anyone, or anything tell you otherwise. And when you can, you come back to me. I'll wait… always and forever… little brother." Sam calmed down after that. Listening to his brother's words, his heartbeat, his breathing. He calmed down. Turning back into the Sam he was at the bar, before all this mess occurred. Yet still a bit fragile. Not that any of the Winchester's would admit it.

"Now what do you say to getting the hell outta here. You go wait in the car and I'll pack your things. Can't let management know what's happened to their room." Dean smirked, kissing his little brothers head before moving away from him slightly, making sure Sam was okay with the distance before setting into action.

"Okay. I'll take your things and put them in the Impala." Sam whispered, moving away and picking up all of Dean's stuff. Dean made sure Sam was okay with leaving the motel room before springing to action and picking up all of Sam's belongings, moving into the kitchen and bathroom for the toiletries and the shared belongings. Packing them all away.

A brief time later Dean had exited the motel room packed the stuff and went to check out, making sure Sam was alright as he went. But by the time he came back, he realised Sam was no longer in, nor around the car.

"Sam!" He called out, worried. "SAM!" he called again after receiving no response. He turned back around to face the car, seeing a figure behind him. Before he could spring to action and defend himself. He felt a sharp pain, and blacked out.

* * *

"Welcome to the land of the living." They uncovered his eyes, blinking furiously to try and get used to the light surrounding him, his head hurting, he looked around. Where was he.

"De'n." he croaked, trying to locate wherever his brother was. "DEAN!" he screamed again, realising that Dean wasn't with him.

"Enough. This one's mine." Sam recognized that voice. Serena.

"Dean." Sam whispered again, freaking out as he tried to release his arms.

"Come on Serena… just one taste." A gruff voice growled, pleading. He wanted to eat Sam. And Sam wanted to see Dean.

"Please." Sam begged. "Where's my brother?" he whispered, needing to know the answer. He didn't beg often, but when it came to Dean, rules change.

"Probably drained out. Serena doesn't have the same rules with Deanie Beanie as she does with you." The deep voice chuckled. Causing Sam's panic to flare.

"No! Dean!" He screamed, tears pooling in his eyes.

 _-He's probably dead.-_

 _-He's probably broken free and left you here to die.-_

"No! No, please! Where's Dean? No!" Sam panicked.

"You moron! Why the hell would you go and say that for!?" Serena barked. "Get out of my sight before I throw you to the dogs!" She ordered, Sam saw everyone run out of the room with undeniable speed. "Don't worry Sam, I didn't let anyone touch your brother. You both remind me of my sister and I." she chuckled. "Before I killed her." Serena laughed as panic was shown on Sam's face again.

"I-… I thought you said." Sam stuttered, scared.

"Do you always listen to what a Vampire tells you Sam? No wonder it was easy to locate you and your brother." Serena smirked. "I suppose I should let Dean go. He'd be thrilled to abandon you." Serena giggled. Knowing the word 'abandon' would make the small boy snap.

"NO!" Was all Dean could hear when he woke up. Knowing immediately that it was Sam's voice. He sounded terrified, yet angry. But Dean recognised a part of his voice, it sounded… abandoned.

"Sam? Where am I? What have you done to my brother?" Dean asked, turning to face… Raelyn? "Sam knew it was you." Dean growled. Trying to release himself from the captive hold of the rope.

"The youngest Hunter is a smart one. But there's something else about him. I recognise April in him. Must be the Autophobia." Raelyn sighed.

"You leave Sam out of this. Because he isn't gonna die because of some sorta messed up feud you've got going on with their parents or whatever." Dean snapped.

"Is that really what you believe? Serena killed April because she eventually got sick of April's demanding nature. April just got worse and worse, so Serena killed her. The feud started after that, everyone's been hunting Serena down since." Raelyn snapped right back, accusingly. Basically, mad at Dean for believing that anyone other than Serena killed April.

"You loved April?" Dean saw the look, he knew it well.

"Yeah. I did. And to get revenge I've had to pretend to adore Serena. She killed the only Mate I could ever have. Vampires Mate for life, and mine was April. I was like you, I didn't care about her Autophobia. I was there for her more than Serena was. But still, April only needed Serena to make her feel like she wasn't abandoned. And Serena used it against her." Raelyn exclaimed angrily.

"Then why are you helping her. Let me go and see my brother. Please. He's probably terrified right now. He needs me!" Dean snapped, needing to convince Raelyn to let him go. Raelyn wasn't bad, he was just vengeful.

"No. Because I also see a part of Serena in you. She didn't care about anyone, at first, she didn't care about anyone other than April, then that all changed, she started to become distant. Not care about anyone other than herself. That's when she killed April. I am not going to let you kill that kid, I'll protect him with my life if I have to." Raelyn growled.

"And what do you think Serena is going to do to him once they're both alone. If she killed April she's gonna torture Sammy. Please. I'm not going to kill him, I would rather chop off all my limbs and sell my soul to the devil. Please, let me go." Dean ordered, trying to get out of the hold the ropes _still_ had on him.

Raelyn's eyes widened at the thought of Serena hurting the kid. He couldn't let another one like them die because of Serena. Couldn't let another Psychic die at the hands of that… _monster_.

He rushed and ripped the ropes off Dean, who straight away ran out of the dark room. "Lead the way." He ordered Raelyn, not knowing where to go. Then he heard it. Sam's screams. Panic, torture, anger. Dean was terrified himself, although he'd never admit it.

"Sam!" Dean called, as both he and Raelyn barged through the room Sam's voice was coming from. Seeing Sam on the ground, above a clearly dead Serena, beheaded, yet he was still crushing her head with his fists every time he punched her. There was nothing around to be able to decapitate her with.

"He ripped her head off. That's not possible." Raelyn whispered, talking more to himself then to Dean, who heard him anyway. Even if he didn't want to hear what Raelyn had to say, he was way more focused on Sam at the moment anyways. "He's the exact same as April was. When they're manic angered. Nothing can stop them but the one they rely on the most."

"Sammy." Dean whispered, rushing to Sam and pulling him off Serena's dead corpse. He was coated in blood. And Dean didn't care that the stains were getting on him, he had to be with his brother. "I'm right here Sammy. Not going anywhere little brother." Dean whispered.

"Gone… gone… no! Don't leave!" Sam screamed.

"Mine!" Dean heard a voice from behind him, noticing it was Raelyn. Dean turned to look, his eyes a darker shade of their natural colour. Dean knew that Raelyn was confusing Sam with April. But Dean also knew that Raelyn was going to kill him. He lowered him and Sam to the ground, not being able to let Sam go, he covered him below him instead.

"Love you Sammy. Hold onto that. Don't let anyone, or anything tell you otherwise. And when you can, you come back to me. I'll wait… always and forever… little brother." Dean whispered, knowing it would calm Sam down, and not expecting to survive the wrath of Raelyn.

"Love you Dean." Sam whispered back, not expecting anything to go wrong. Instead of Dean feeling the attack, he felt a burning sensation, but not enough to injure or fully burn him. Turning around he saw a blue-eyed man in a trench coat. And Raelyn on the ground, eyes melted and clearly dead. He recognized the man. The same one that saved Sammy.

"You are still needed Dean Winchester. You will protect Sam, and you will save the world." He spoke. Smiling slightly before disappearing into thin air. Dean then believed, that Angels were real.

He turned back and held his brother, knowing deep down that the Angel in the trench coat world take care of the rest of the vampires. Dean held his brother, both calming down after the recent events. Both as relieved to still be alive and in each other's arms.

This is how they worked, this is what they did. And some days were better than others, whereas other days were worse. But they're just days, and they've got way more where this came from. It was going to be okay, not because they were brothers. But because it was them against the world. And throughout all the Rules of Abandonment, they've realised that as long as they are together, no longer will they ever Fall Too Far.


	4. 4 - Of Lycanthrope & Winchester's

**Chapter 4 - Of Lycanthrope & Winchester's**

 **.Pre-Series.**

Sam = 16

Dean = 20

 _During a Werewolf case, all three Winchester's were split up, and during this hunt, something happened. One minute, one boy, one Lykan bite, changes the Hunters lives forever._

* * *

 **Sam**

"Alright, spread out. And be careful, last thing we want is to alert this thing that we're here." Dad ordered, loading up his shotgun.

"Dad, if it is what I think it is than it already knows that we're here. Lykan's are exactly like Werewolves Dad, but they're way more advanced. It's more like… it's  
hunting us rather then we're hunting it." I informed, trying to tell both Dean and Dad that being careful isn't gonna matter when this thing shows itself.

"Don't back-chat Sam. I expect you to listen to me. Now, go with your brother and you both will shoot the flare if you see it, I'll do the same. Go!" He ordered again, and like always he ignored me.

"Dean, we gotta be careful okay? This thing could be more dangerous than a _Wendigo_." I informed, pleading him to listen to me.

"More of your Lykan stories." Dean sighed, basically and silently telling me to shut up.

"Yes! More of my _Lykan_ stories. Both Werewolves and Lykan's come from the lycanthrope Dean, they both mutated from Shifters. Except very few of the Werewolves evolved into Lykan's, a much more advanced species. I don't think just one silver bullet will kill it. I was researching and-…" I was cut off from my speech.

"Can you stop?! All your chatting is going to let this _Werewolf_ know we're here! And then one of us will get hurt when it gets the jump on us!" Dean snapped, stopping his walk and turning around to face me in anger. He put emphasis on the Werewolf, telling me that he didn't believe me.

"You don't believe me?" I asked, just to make sure he really didn't believe me.

"No! Lykan's aren't real, they're just a story that Daddy Werewolves told their Baby Werewolves before going to sleep at night. Just drop it Sam." Dean ordered.

"What?... Lykan's aren't… _what_?" I was speechless, he just told me that Lykan's weren't real. "Since when did we stop believing in the supernatural Dean?" I snapped angrily. Not only did he not believe me, but he told me the same thing that he used to tell me when I was five _. 'Monster's aren't real Sammy. Nothin' to be afraid of.'_ "You're really gonna throw that back at me? I'm not a kid anymore and I'm allowed to believe what I want! You just wait Dean, this thing is gonna come out, it's gonna be a Lykan and I'm gonna say I told you so!" I raged out, screaming by the end of my sentence.

"Oh, that's just like you. When something doesn't go your way, you rage out. And then when it does go your way you get snarky. Well guess what my _selfish_ little brother. This world doesn't revolve around you or your _stupid_ mind. In fact, it probably doesn't care whether you're alive or not! So, go bury your head in the dirt and wait for your fucking _mystical Lykan_ to show itself!" Dean barked out, yelling. I stopped yelling, yeah sure, his words hurt. But surely, he didn't mean them? Right?

"You're so wrapped up in your own mind that you don't even realise how useless you are to this family." That was the last thing he said before storming off. I was in shock, I couldn't even move. Frozen solid where I stood.

 _-Useless to this family.-_

 _-Stupid mind.-_

 _-Selfish little brother.-_

 _-Bury your head in the dirt and wait for your fucking mystical Lykan!-_

Tears blurred my vision, I could barely see. And then when I could, and when I was okay and able to move. I couldn't see Dean anywhere.

"Dean!" I tried calling, not knowing whether he didn't respond because he was ignoring me, whether he hated me, or whether he was just too far to hear. Or maybe he got caught. "DEAN!" I called out again, cupping my hands around my mouth to create more of an echo.

I heard a rustling from behind me, turning around quickly I saw a pair of red glowing eyes. "DEAN!" I screamed out fearfully. He wouldn't leave me alone with this thing? Would he?

I hastily took two steps back, turned around and ran. I had to get in light somewhere, I couldn't see anything in the dark. "Dean!" I shouted, hoping he could hear me. When I didn't get a response, I knew I had to come up with a plan on my own. Looking around me, and I couldn't find anything that would help. All I had was a hunting knife, pistol, shotgun, a spare clip of silver bullets, holy water, salt, a spare flare, compass, small first aid kit that I had managed to attach to my back with rope, and the rope that I used to attach it with.

"Okay Sammy, think. Lykan's can shift whenever, painful shifts on the luna-cycle, heals fast, speed, strength, adrenaline, claws, canines, reflexes, one bite turns, one snap kills. What kills _them_? Come on Sam what kills a Lykan? Think you moron?!" I snapped at myself, going through everything in my head, trying to find something that would give me the advantage, I could hear its growls. And I knew it was basically right in front of me.

 _-Bury your head in the dirt and wait for your fucking mystical Lykan!-_

 _-Useless to this family.-_

 _-Stupid mind.-_

 _-Useless to this family.-_

 _-Selfish little brother.-_

 _-Useless to this family.-_

 _-Useless to this family.-_

 _-Bury your head in the dirt and wait for your fucking mystical Lykan!-_

"NO!" I roared, the growls of the Lykan coming to a halt immediately, did I scare it? Good. "I will not run! You will not scare me away! I. Will. Destroy. You!" I roared out, coming up with a plan. "What kills Lykan's? Get rid of the heart, decapitate the head, mutilate the body, and roast the bitch." I growled, surprisingly sounding more like Dean then myself, but if I was going to survive this one-off with a bloody _Lykan,_ then I couldn't be Sweet Sammy right now. I had to be a ruthless soldier, I had to be like Dean. I had to be like Dad. Heartless, ruthless, soldiers.

I heard a huff, confusion spread through me. What was it huffing at? Was it laughing at me? I grabbed the flare and scratched it roughly on a rock, illuminating it. I could see, and I was right. It was a Lykan. The pictures didn't do the size justice. It was bloody just bigger than me. In my shock I stepped back, grabbing my pistol as I did so. I didn't want to aggravate it, but I did however want to kill it. "Oh shit." I murmured, looking deep into its glowing red eyes. I quickly swung the pistol and aimed at its heart. Firing the trigger, twice. It dodged both the bullets. "Shit. Reflexes." I murmured, in its anger it turned and rammed its head into my chest, sending me flying back, I dropped both the flare and the gun. "Strength." I groaned out after colliding into a tree.

"Sam!" I heard the faint call from Dean, he was close. He was following the flare, and I think the Lykan caught onto it. He started heading for the flare, it was the only way I would get found. I stood and tried running for the flare, but it got to it in top speed and stepped on it, extinguishing the flare.

"Speed." I huffed in astonishment. I was dead meat. But if I had learnt anything, it was that a Winchester didn't go out unless they went out guns blazing. When the Lykan moved away from the flare, I noticed a slight illumination. I could light it again, I just needed to get it away. I grabbed the rope, dropping the med-kit on the ground. This wouldn't hold, but it was going to give me the moments I needed to relight the flare fully and try and fire it off.

"Sam!" Was that Dad? It sounded closer, more urgent, but in the same direction Dean's voice was. They had found each other. And then probably saw the illumination from the flare. Wasting no time, I ran around the Lykan, confusing it in its mind but tying it up in mine. Once I had the rope around its neck, I tied it to the tree behind it. The Lykan realised what I was doing, and growled out menacingly. It went to pounce, then realised that it was tied, I got out the salt and holy water before drenching the rope in it. It would at least give me just a little bit more time to set the flare.

I ran to the flare, falling to the ground and grabbing it before scratching it roughly on the rock again, I placed the flare in the shotgun so only half of the flare could still be seen. "Please work." I begged before shooting the flare in the sky, it didn't go as far as it would've if I had the flare gun that Dad gave Dean, but it went further than the canopy, and that's all I wanted.

"Sammy!" That was Dean, he sounded panicked, but he also sounded just beyond the third group of trees, he was right there.

"Dean!" I called, turning in the direction I heard his voice, I could see him now, his silhouette, the flare came down and landed on the ground, slightly lighting up the area enough so I could see him. The Lykan had realised what I had done, I had called in backup. And by the sounds of it, the Lykan was angry.

"What in the world?" Dad murmured, wide eyed at the creature.

"Sam! Look out!" Dean yelled in pure panic, I turned around swiftly, but it was too late, the Lykan had broken free and tackled me to the ground, biting my shoulder in the process and using it's claws to carve my body. I screamed out in torture. GOD! It hurt so bad.

"GAAAHHHHHH!" I continued, the Lykan wasn't letting go, and it was shaking its head to create more pain, ripping off some flesh before I just felt numb, I suppose my body was just in too much pain and switched it off. Or I was dying.

"Sammy!" Dean barked out.

"Dean no!" I heard gunshots, and faintly saw the Lykan bolt away.

"GAAHHH!" I screamed, feeling a sizzling in the wound on the shoulder, I arched my back, needing the pain to go away, I could feel myself twitching on a massive scale, just needing the constant movement to be rid of the further pain. The sizzling continued, getting worse and worse. "AAAHHHH!" I screamed, high pitched and loud. Because it hurt so badly, I couldn't think past the pain, I couldn't think of what Dean was saying, I couldn't think of the Lykan, nothing was making sense but the pain.

It… just… hurt.

* * *

 **Dean**

"Sammy. Oh god. Dad, what do I do? Dad?" I pleaded, needing his help. "There's blood everywhere, Sammy." I pleaded for Sam to be okay. I could hear his shoulder wound sizzling, Sam just continued to scream, move uncontrollably in pain.

"What was that thing?" Dad asked in astonishment, he was off to the side, watching where the creature ran off too.

"Sam was right." I whispered, looking down at Sammy. "All this time you were actually right. Lykan's are real. Dad! It was a Lykan." I snapped, looking at Dad briefly before turning my attention back to my smart little brother.

"Lykan, what do we know about Lykan's? How do we kill them?" Dad asked, I was swamped, I had no clue. I didn't even know Lykan's were real until one just ripped out my brother's shoulder and carved his skin like some carving pumpkin.

"I don't know, everything we know about Lykan's lies in Sam's mind because none of us wanted to hear what we had to say. I was too wrapped up in following _your_ orders and hearing what _you_ were saying to even believe in the possibility of Lykan's." I snapped, angry at Dad. I was angry, I was worried. I was scared, not that I would ever admit that to Sammy. But, he looked like… death. His skin was unnaturally pale, he was sweating and bleeding everywhere, his eyes here dilated, shivering and small spasms wracked his form like he was on fire. Hell, it probably felt like that.

"Sammy?" Dad tried getting through to him, but I knew it was no use.

"Dad, we can't get through to him. I don't know what to do? I have no clue… WHY IS HIS SHOULDER STILL SIZZLING!" I barked out the final sentence, stopping what I was going to say when I looked back down at his shoulder. The skin around his shoulder was peeling, it looked like he was dying. "Is this some sort of venom thing Sammy. You need to respond to me so I know what to do?" I pleaded, tears in my eyes. Sam was dying right before my eyes and I couldn't do anything to stop it, we were way to far from anything to be able to get any sort of signal. Even if we did, even if someone did come, by the time they got here. Sam…

"No. I refuse to believe that you're gonna die. Dad, we've gotta move him. Take him to a hospital." I ordered.

"And if we do that, they mind be able to stitch up the carvings but they aren't going to be able to help with a supernatural induced wound. By the looks of it it's venom Dean. We can't move him, he'll bleed out or just pass out from pain, probably go into a coma. And die. We're best finding this Lykan and making it turn human to tell us how we can help him." Dad snapped. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, Sammy was dying and all Dad was worried about was finding this Lykan, getting information about his kind and killing him. Dad was more worried about the hunt than a possibly dying kid. HIS KID!

"You won't have to hunt far." A man from the shadows murmured, walking out I could barely see through the illumination of the flare, but he was big, and he was gonna die. I was gonna kill him.

"You son of a bitch!" I barked out, standing up and rushing towards him. His reflexes kicked in and he grabbed my throat. Flinging me back, I smacked my head into a tree, and my world went black.

* * *

 **John**

I would've run towards the Lykan, but Dean just proved what a stupid move it would've been.

"John Winchester, you're supposed to be one of the best hunters around. Pity you wouldn't be able to handle a little old Lykan." He taunted, making my rage boil. Another scream tore from Sam's throat, although they were getting quieter, which wasn't a good sign.

"Your youngest however, he almost had me. Probably would've too, if you and Dean over there hadn't distracted him. Thank you for that by the way. I managed to do exactly what had to be done. He's a strong one, loyal and protective." The Lykan looked towards Sam with a possessive look in his eye, one that I really didn't wanna see. "He'll make a fine addition." He smirked, turning back to face me.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked, regretting the question as soon as it left my lips.

 _-Man up Winchester! You need to run this fucker into the ground! Not play games! Kill him! You know what you're supposed to be doing! Do it!-_

Yet, because I didn't listen to my son in the first place, I had no clue how to kill a Lykan.

"He's in transition. I did go a little overboard I'll admit that. But I was more than a little angry. After all he was trying to kill me. And it won't matter, as soon as the transition is over, he'll be most loyal to me." The Lykan smirked, before running behind the trees. Hidden in the darkness, yet I knew he was still there.

"Transition… to what?" I growled out, secretly knowing what this sick bastard had done to my son, yet wanting to hear the words out loud.

"Lykan." Was the only whisper I heard from behind me before I blacked out.

* * *

 **3** **rd** **Person**

Dean woke, groaning inwardly at the sudden sharp pain in his head. He went to place a hand to his head to try and ease the pain, only to realise that he couldn't. His hands here shackled above him. His eyes widened immediately and looked around him, trying to gather his surroundings. Trees, a bonfire. Where was he? Was he in a bar fight and got kidnapped? Was he just kidnapped walking home? Was this some hunt gone wrong? If this was a hunt gone wrong, then his Dad would find him? But then, where was Sam? Sam… … …

"SAM!" Dean screamed, memories of recent events flooding back to him, these were the memories he knew he needed but didn't want to remember. Where was his little brother? Where was his Dad? Where was he? Looking around the room he suddenly spotted his Dad, shackled to the tree beside him.

"Dad! Dad wake up!" Dean barked his own little order. Wishing his father would wake up, pleading that nothing bad was wrong. John just groaned in response. Dean huffed in relief, half relief. Where was Sammy?

"Sammy!" Dean called, trying to earn a response. If he was bought somewhere different than where was Sam? If this Lykan had taken him away, and left Sam vulnerable and alone. Left Sam to die scared and alone, then Dean was going to give this Lykan hell to pay. Scratch that, either way, this Lykan had hell to pay.

"Sam!" Dean screamed again.

"Shut up…" A voice groaned out, Dean looked towards the bonfire, beside it, leaning against the tree. The Lykan, he was in human form, but it was still the Lykan. "You make far too much noise." He hummed, turning the stick above the bonfire, in response turned whatever animal was cooking above it.

"Where the hell is Sam? I'll kill you!" Dean growled out angrily.

"Shut up my God you're too noisy. I'm glad I chose your brother, the quiet one, instead of you. Your brother is exactly where you left him. Maybe not in the same piece, but we'll just have to see when Sammy pays us a visit." Lykan chuckled excitedly. So, Sammy was okay?

"You healed him?" Dean asked, relieved that Sam wasn't going to die.

"In a way, yes." Lykan smirked. The way he said it, Dean knew there was more to the story.

"What did you do to him?" Dean growled, not really wanting to know the answer but needing to know it anyway.

"I turned him." Lykan smiled, walking to a pile of wood and grabbing two sticks. "You see, there aren't many of us Lykan's left out there. Some Lykan's are Alpha's of nearby Werewolf packs, others like me are left alone. Considered outcasts." Lykan began his story.

"Boohoo." Dean mocked, earning a look that basically said, _'shut up or die'._ So, Dean took the option that would let him see Sammy again.

"My parents were Hunters, but I was born a Lykan. And when they found out what I was… my Mom loved me, even though she was a Hunter she still promised to protect me, my Dad however was less then optimistic. Tried to get me killed, never had my back. I was always treated as the outcast in school, beat up, thrown to the ground like nothing. My Mom made me promise never to fight back, because as soon as you get your first kill, human blood on your hands for the first time, it's the best feeling in the world and you just crave to continue." Lykan chuckled in a way that made Dean shiver.

"I don't wanna hear this." John growled, Dean jumped, looking towards his Dad and noticing that he was awake now.

"Too bad! You're gonna know my origin. You must know why I chose Sam!" Lykan barked out angrily, he had tears in his eyes. But still, Dean didn't feel the least bit sorry for him.

"I never fought back against the kids at school. I came home with covered in blood and bruises. One day I came home, my Mom was dead and my Dad… he was in Lykan form. He hated me because he hated what he became, and when he saw my eyes he saw himself. I had always had this Alpha type bond with my Dad, kinda like you two. I followed his rules, did exactly what he asked, I was a soldier. But when he killed my Mom something snapped. And I became who Sam is, I rebelled, always asked questions. The difference between Sam and I is I did it for the bloodlust, he does it because he's confused." Lykan growled.

"You are nothing like my family! Nothing like me! Nothing like Sammy!" Dean lashed out angrily.

"You're right. I am nothing like either of you. But when I looked at Sammy, when he saw my eyes holding fear, after you both had your little argument. I could only see the same fear, the same sadness that I had in my eyes whenever I looked in the mirror. I looked at Sam, and I saw myself. He's an outcast, always has been. He's an outcast in his family because he likes school, and he's an outcast at school because he likes hunting. I was the exact same. So, I thought why not turn him. He'll be loyal to me, even more loyal then he ever was to you. But to make it so… I must kill you, make him believe that you left him, make him angry. Make him vengeful to humanity. Then, and only then. Will he join me." Lykan held his hands out, revealing the hunting knife that John had given to Sam. He walked towards Dean, placing the knife at Dean's throat.

"You may have turned me." A voice began from behind them. It was strong, yet Dean noticed the depression. "But you'll never have my loyalty, you'll never have my family." It growled, holding a menacing tone that made both Dean and John shiver. They recognised the voice, but it echoed through the small clearing they were in. Unable to find the owner of the voice. Even Lykan was looking around the campsite in confusion.

"Where are you my boy?" Lykan questioned happily. Releasing his hold on Dean, John growled at the words Lykan used. He didn't belong to Lykan! He was John's boy!

"Come find me… _Alpha_." The last word had Dean and John's eyes widened, he considered Lykan an Alpha. Whether he wanted to believe it himself or not, he would always be loyal to his Alpha.

"Sammy." Lykan smiled kindly before rushing away, turning into his Lykan form. Once alone, Dean tried to get out of his shackles.

"We gotta help Sam." Dean ground his teeth together, looking up at the shackles as he tried to let himself free.

"You know as well as I do what Sam has become. And what he will become once he kills a human, you know exactly what he's gonna turn into. He's loyal to a Lykan now." John murmured sadly.

"So, what?! You just give up! Hell to that! A Winchester doesn't give up until they die guns blazin' Dad! You know that!" Dean snapped, trying to get inside his father's mind, make him believe that Sammy wasn't purely gone. He heard a snap of branches, and looked towards the noise. He saw Sam crouched down, obviously having hidden in the trees or something, just landing on the ground. Sam stood up, yet didn't look at Dean or his Dad. He walked towards Dean and grabbed the shackles, ripping them apart before doing the same to John's.

"We don't have much time." Sam whispered, looking around the area. He was completely healed, except for a scar on his shoulder, in the form of a bite mark. But for some reason both the older Winchester's knew that the bite mark wasn't gonna go away.

"Sammy, look at me little brother." Dean murmured, grabbing the sides of Sam's face and making him look up in Dean's eyes. Sam was crying. "I did not mean anything I said to you before the attack okay. I love you little brother. Always and forever. I don't care if you're some awesome, badass Lykan okay. The entire Lycanthrope are pretty badass. You and me Sammy." Dean reassured, Sam smiled lightly, taking in Dean's words and believing them. He just didn't want to believe that he was now a monster.

"We need to find that Lykan. Now." John ordered, not looking at Sam, he couldn't face his kid. Especially knowing what he had become.

"Just like my own father. Couldn't even consider the fact that I hadn't changed, the only thing that changed was that I was no longer human." Lykan stated from in front of the bonfire. "Sammy. I thought I taught you that releasing food into the wild was a bad force of habit." Lykan chuckled. "But that's okay, you've still got so much to learn. And I can teach you." Lykan informed.

"I'd rather Dean teach me, but thanks for the offer." Sam growled, stepping in front of his family to protect them. Hate and rage in his voice as he spat the words at the Lykan, his eyes shifting to a glowing electrifying blue.

"Dean? What does he know about Lykan's? About what they do? What they eat? How they survive?" Lykan growled with jealousy.

"I'll figure it out." Dean snapped.

"Exactly." Sam agreed. "We'll figure it out. You had to figure it out all on your own, but I have a family here who will help me. I am not loyal to you! You made the mistake of releasing venom into my wound, I could still turn, but it rejected any feeling of loyalty I had to you, because my Alpha had tried to kill me as well as turn me." Sam informed. Dean's eyes widened at the amount of information Sam knew about the Lykan's. He might already know pretty much everything he needs. Not that Dean was surprised, Sam was always the Geek-Boy.

"You won't be able to figure it out." Lykan began. "When they're dead!" He barked, shifting into his Lykan form again and racing towards the Winchester's, Dean got the hunting knife that was on the ground whilst John ran and found their weapons. In response, Sam bolted towards the Lykan.

"Sam! Don't!" Dean shouted, scared for his brother's life and wondering what the hell he was doing. Sam jumped, and shifted into a Lykan mid-air, at the same time Lykan jumped up and they both collided. Sam's Lykan was much smaller, reaching the same height as Dean's knee. Sam's Lykan was still a pup. But it gave Sam leverage to be able to run on top of and around Lykan, biting him and distracting him. John threw a shotgun to Dean, who aimed the gun and shot the Lykan in the heart, Sam, who knew the shot was coming, moved out of the way and bit Lykan so he would move in a direction where the bullet would enter his heart. Lykan roared out in pain before collapsing.

Sam, who moved around the collapsed Lykan, ran to Dean and transformed back into his human self before snatching the knife. Dean saw from Sam's electrifying eyes that Sam wasn't fully himself right now. He growled inhumanely before plunging the silver dagger in the Lykan's heart, Dean watched in amazement at how his little brother moved. "Cut out the heart." His voice had even changed to a low, menacing tone, growling here and there. "Decapitate the head. Mutilate the corpse." Was Sam's next sentence. That's when John stepped in, needing revenge for what happened to his son.

"Allow me." John ordered, Sam growled at him, but gave him the knife anyway.

"Come here Sam." Dean ordered, holding out his arms, Dean noticed another difference between Lykan's and Werewolves, when Lykan's shifted from form to form their clothing stayed intact.

Sam rushed towards Dean, hugging him immediately, Dean thought he heard the faint whisper of 'Alpha'. But that couldn't be right. Dean couldn't be Sam's Alpha, could he? Dean wasn't even a Werewolf, he was human. Just… human.

"Did you just call me… Alpha?" Dean asked, turning himself around so he didn't have to watch his Dad mutilate a corpse.

"Yes. You're my Alpha. When an Alpha dies, the newest Alpha is the one they're loyal to the most. You're my new Alpha." Sam whispered, enjoying being surrounded in Dean's protective arms. Dean knew that this would serve to be a challenge, and he also knew that his Dad wouldn't be too happy with Sam following Dean's orders instead of his. But that's just the cards they were dealt.

* * *

 **Sam**

On the way back to the motel we were all silent, probably thinking about the recent events that would change us as a family, the adrenaline from my recent shift soon gone, and the feeling that the weight of the world was back on my shoulders. I wouldn't speak, wouldn't tell anyone what was running through my head. How could I? When not, even they could understand my thoughts? They didn't listen before, so what made anyone think they would now? I guess I hope that now I can be of some use to our family. Instead of just being the useless one.

 _-Useless to this family.-_

 _-Selfish little brother.-_

I suppose I was selfish, probably even more so now that I'm not even human. I'm a monster, a freak. A bigger outcast then I ever was before and no one was changing that. Not this time. I was forever going to be this freak. A Lykan. How can a hunt that was supposed to be minor turn into something so lifechanging?

I don't even know if Dean wants to be an Alpha, how can you just force that on someone? Well I guess the same way you can force Lycanthrope on someone.

"We'll stay here tonight and then leave first thing tomorrow." Dad commented, I had to talk to him. Dean too, I'll talk to Dad first. I need them to be okay with what I am now. If they're not… then I won't be either, and I know that I'll hate what I am. Hell, I already do. I'm a monster. My family walked inside the motel room, and I grabbed the sleeve of my Dad's jacket.

"Can we talk?" I asked, looking up at him, he looked away as soon as I looked towards his face, he couldn't even look at me anymore.

"It's been a long night Sam." Dad muttered, turning around and placing his duffle bag on the table.

"Please, I really need to talk to you." I asked again. Dean, who was listening in, had noticed it was his time to go off into our shared room, walking with his duffle bag and entering the room allowed Dad and I the change alone to talk.

"What is it Sam?" Dad asked, he had his back to me. Sorting through the duffle bag and unpacking.

"I wanna talk about what happened tonight, whilst it's still fresh in our minds and whilst we don't have any other distractions." I stated.

"We don't need to talk about it Sam, we all understand what happened." Dad sighed deeply, still not turning around to face me. I walked up to him, and stood across the table, he immediately moved away towards the counter and placed the salt and a few weapons. He began taking the bullets out of the weapons and packing it all back up. "You're seriously going to be this immature? I'm not asking for a lot Dad! Just stop pretending like I'm not even here!" I angrily snapped, he was seriously just pretending like I wasn't even alive anymore, like I had died in that forest.

"Don't talk to me about immature Samuel Winchester, you were the one that had to go off and get yourself bit just to prove to us that it really was a Lykan!" Dad barked out, he turned around and faced me, sure he was angry, but at least he was looking at me. Still, words hurt.

"Is that what you think I did? You think I went and purposely got myself bit by a Lykan just to prove to you! I didn't have to do that Dad! You and Dean both saw that it was a Lykan as soon as you looked at it!" I shouted, I could feel the rage course through me, my eyes stinging slightly, not enough to do anything, but just enough to feel something there. Dad's eyes immediately widened and he looked away sadly. What happened? Why did he cower away? That's never been his move?

"Calm down Sam, before we both do something we'll regret." Dad whispered, I could barely hear it. But somehow, I knew exactly what he had said.

"So, that's how it's going to be." I muttered, chuckling lightly, yet not finding any humour in both my voice and the situation. "You're going to pretend like I'm no longer your son, just some stranger you have to carry around with you because you've got nothing else to do with me. Just like before huh? Why not just hand me to Bobby?" I asked, looking directly at him, I saw the rage, the sadness, the guilt and regret. And knew that his rage won.

"Because he'd kill you on the spot! Any hunter that saw you would kill you Sam! You're lucky that I didn't do it myself! Hell, I still might!" Dad barked out, I stood ridged, eyes wide and tears prickling my eyes.

"Dad…" I whispered, not knowing what else to say.

"Just do me a favour, and don't call me Dad, my son died out there in the forest. That's what I've got to believe, and that's what everyone else will believe." Dad… John commented, I can't call him Dad. He's not my Dad, and I'm not his son.

I took two steps back, it seemed that he had calmed down, realised exactly who… what he was talking to, and backtracked.

"Sammy…" he tried to reason. I missed that name, but I also knew, I knew that I could've died out there, in those woods. Hell, I wanted to die out there. I'd take anything else right now. I turned and walked away, walking to the bedroom. I needed my Alpha, I needed Dean. He'd make it better, I knew he would. He has too.

"Sammy wait…" why should I? I didn't owe him anything, he wasn't my Dad anymore, just a man who could kill me at any point in time. He was a danger to me, and I didn't trust him. I opened the bedroom door and saw Dean on his bed with his head in his hands.

"Hey…" I croaked, not being able to speak any higher. As soon as I saw Dean I broke down, I cried. But I tried my hardest to hold it in. I couldn't cry in front of him, I had to try and be stronger than that. He was my Alpha after all.

"Hey Sammy." Dean murmured, looking up towards me, he was sad. Really sad, and that made me feel worse. Mostly because he was my brother and I hated seeing him sad. But also, because he was my Alpha, and I couldn't see my Alpha sad anymore.

"You heard huh?" I asked.

"Hard not to. You both yellin' like that. Surprised the entire motel didn't bang on the door with the racket." He responded, small talk. Is that what we've really all come too.

"So, you know what he plans to do right? I'm scared he's gonna kill me Dean." I whispered, sitting on the edge of my bed across from him.

"He's our Dad Sam. He's not going to kill you." Dean insisted.

"You heard what he said! He said I can't call him Dad anymore, he practically disowned me Dean! All because I became something I didn't even want to be!" I snapped, getting angry. How could he still be Dad's little soldier after what Dad said to me.

"Could you blame him? I mean... look at you Sammy! You're not the same anymore. You're one of them. There are Hunters, and then there are the things that get Hunted. You of all people know that." Dean stated, it looked like he was pleading. But what could he be begging for? It wasn't like I could just flip a switch and be normal again? I was a whole new level of freak.

"What? Dean… you of all people. You're not only my Alpha but you're my big brother!" I stood up, walking to the other end of the room, I couldn't be around him. Not after what he was saying.

"I'm not an Alpha! I'm not even supernatural! I'm not like you! I'm not a-…" He cut himself off, I knew exactly what he was going to say… his rejection to being Alpha hurt so badly, but what hurt more… was the name he was gonna call me.

"Say it." I ordered.

"Sammy." He whispered, taking a step towards me.

"SAY IT!" I roared, I could feel my fingernails burning, my eyes stinging, my entire body moving in a way that I didn't want it too. I was shifting. "Monster." I growled lowly, in a voice that wasn't mine.

"I never said that!" Dean snapped, stepping towards me. I stepped back, if I didn't leave. I was gonna hurt someone, and I really didn't want that.

"You were going to." I murmured, rushing out of the room and turning into my Lykan as soon as I exited the bedroom.

"Sammy!" Dean cried, but I was too far gone, I bolted out the front door. I just ran. I didn't stop. I could feel tears, and I couldn't stop them this time. They think I'm a monster, my Maker was right. They rejected me. I'm better off alone anyway.

* * *

 **3** **rd** **Person**

"Damn it!" Dean cried, turning and punching a wall, he felt angry. Angrier then he would on a usual occasion, it was the same with sadness. He usually wouldn't feel this depressed. Was it the Alpha part of him? Was it really changing how he felt about certain things.

"What's going on?" John asked, walking to where Dean was and putting a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Dean raged. "You rejected him! You disowned him! Not that I'm surprised." Dean chuckled, pacing around the place. "I rejected him. I told him I wasn't his Alpha." Dean whispered sadly before turning back to rage. "Now he's gone, he's run off in his Lykan form and I don't even know where he might go. Other than the park but that's a-… A park? He's part dog! He'd be at the park! I gotta go." Dean rambled, grabbing his keys, wallet and phone before walking towards the Impale.

"Dean stop! Someone is bound to find him. Probably the pound." John stated.

"More reason for me to go find him." Dean snapped.

"I'll come with you." John murmured.

"What? So, you can kill him!" Dean barked, shoving his Dad angrily, he didn't know how mad he got until his father grabbed his shoulders and slammed him into the car.

"You need to calm down. I didn't mean what I said okay, I thought that he was different. I thought that the Sammy we both knew was dead. I saw the hurt in his eyes, the sadness and I realised that it was my Sammy. He's still there." John informed sadly.

"Oh, ya think." Dean mocked.

"Stop, we've gotta find him before someone else does. We're not the only Hunters here." John stated. Dean had the face of panic itself before getting into the car, followed soon by John, and sped away. They had to get to the park.

With Sam's speed, he managed to get to the park and collapse to the ground in record timing. All that could be heard was the whimpering of a small dog. He was crying, and knew that he basically couldn't return to his family.

"Well, how could I know that the spirit was going to throw you across the grave?" A voice spoke from a distance, Sam looked up towards the direction that the voice was coming from. There was no one seen for miles, but Sam knew that it didn't mean someone wasn't coming. And by the sounds of it, they were hunters.

"I don't know Morgan, maybe you should've been on watch like you were supposed to!" Another voice snapped, they were arguing. It reminded Sam of how he argued with his family, but it also reminded him that he needed to run, or they were going to find him and realise that he was a Lykan. Which were a rare species enough as it was without dying out from hunters all the time.

"I'm sorry Tyrone, I was too busy digging a grave that you decided you weren't going to help with." Morgan snapped back, he sounded pissed. Sam snapped out of his train of thought, he had two decisions. Let the hunters catch the monster, or run. Sam lay back down and waited for them to come.

In the distance, he began to hear the faint sound of the Impala, were his Dad and Dean leaving already, leaving him behind whilst he was still out. But then why was the sound getting louder, it was coming towards him. He also heard the voices of Morgan and Tyrone. They were right there, at the playground. Hanging by the trees. If they only just saw Sam, so he looked up, made himself aware and whimpered.

"What's that?" Morgan asked, pointing towards the direction Sam was in, who just lay back down curled into a ball.

"Looks like a dog." Tyrone responded, his voice getting closer to Sam. He could hear the Impala's engine and knew that these two had to act quickly before his family located him. He couldn't go back to people that didn't want him around in the first place, maybe Dean and John would just drive past him.

"Does that seriously look like a normal dog to you Ty?" Morgan asked, Sam looked up and saw them both getting closer. Sam stayed laying down, and allowed Tyrone to pick him up. He didn't like the way he was holding him, like he was ready to kill.

"Shit, he has a bite mark on his shoulder. Is he a-…" Tyrone stopped himself from speaking. "You're the expert on Werewolves Morgan, figure it out." It was a straight order. Sam was just too tired to fight back.

"Sam!" he heard the voice of Dean, looking over he saw the Impala's headlights flashing on the two hunters and himself. "Drop my… dog!" Dean ordered.

"This isn't a dog. Isn't a Werewolf either. I think it's a Lykan." Morgan commented, examining Sam.

"Sammy!" Dean was running towards them, John hot on his trails. These two needed to act quickly. "Sammy fight them!" It was an order. An order from his Alpha, but the real reason Sam accepted it, was because Dean was asking him to fight. Asking Sam to come back to him. Whether he wanted to or not, Sam fought.

Barking menacingly, Sam swiped his paw and scratched Tyrone in the face, who immediately dropped him, calling out profanities at the pain of his cheek. Sam landed on his side with a squealed whine before turning and running towards Dean.

"Thought Lykan's were going extinct?" Morgan asked, walking towards the three. Dean kneeled down so he was the same level as Sam as he held him. Sam rubbed his head on Dean's chest to show he cared, letting out small whimpers to show that he was also scared.

"It's okay little brother, I gotcha." Dean reassured, petting Sam and trying his best to make sure his little brother was safe whilst sending glares to the two men.

"That explains everything. He's your little brother. Oh no… that's a very depressing classic, and by the looks of it you're hunters." Morgan mocked, wanting the monster for further research, knowing how a Lykan moved, how they responded to pain, how loyal they were to their Alpha. It was all information Morgan had been wanting to know his entire life. But the only Lykan's that had travelled in packs were killed off. The rest scattered and were extremely difficult to find.

"That's John Winchester." Tyrone groaned, walking and standing beside Morgan, holding a cloth onto his cheek.

"John… blast! My god it's the John Winchester I've heard so much about. What do you think the hunting community are going to say when they find out that one of your… sons? By the looks of it… is a Lykan. One of the most powerful Monsters out there?" Morgan asked.

"I don't care what the hunting community says. He's still my son." John growled, Sam howled in agreement. Loving how his father was once again calling him his son. It didn't change anything, but Sam knew that they were trying to fix what they had said, so it was a start.

"You must be Dean?" Tyrone questioned, turning to the older son. "Tell me, what was your response when… Sammy over here told you that he was a Lykan? I want all the details." Dean glared at the older man, still petting his little brother, who was now nudging into Dean's neck, if Dean lost his balance for even a second he would topple over.

"Not good obviously. Is that why the Lykan was out here tonight? Didn't want to be with a family of hunters that enjoyed hunting the Lycanthrope for a sport. Well kiddo, I kinda need this little mutt for a research project I'm working on. It's based on the Lycanthrope, maybe when I'm done I'll send John a copy of the research and… the left-over pieces of what used to be your brother." Morgan chuckled darkly. Sam whimpered, not liking where the conversation was going. He knew his family wouldn't give him up, but the look in Morgan's eye said that he'd do whatever had to be done to get the information he needed.

"You stay the hell away from my brother, you don't look at him. You don't talk to him, and you certainly don't touch him. Are we clear on that?" Dean barked out angrily, standing up. He felt stronger when Sam was beside him, probably another Alpha thing that kicked in. But he knew Sam felt stronger beside his Alpha as well. He still didn't know what to think of the whole Alpha thing, but he would take it as it came alone. Sam growled lowly, sensing Dean's anger and channelling some of it for himself. Morgan pulled out a gun, causing Tyrone's eyes to widen in fear as he held it up to John Winchester.

"Morgan! What're you doing?! He's a hunter! One of the best, you kill him and it makes you no better than the monsters you research!" Tyrone barked out in panic.

"Shut up! You want this mutt roaming around, you know how powerful the Lykan's are, that's why it takes at least five hunters to take at least one down. No wonder the kid got bit, I'm surprised the Lykan didn't kill him on the spot." Morgan growled, cocking the gun. Sam sped into action, bolting towards Morgan and tackling. Using all his weight to knock Morgan to the ground and dislodge the weapon. Dean and John knew it was incredibly risky, letting Sam fight. He could kill, and these people where exactly that, people. The original Lykan from before said that as soon as Sam felt human blood on his hands for the first time, he'd have an unnatural crave for the bloodlust and murder. Turning primeval.

"Sam no!" Dean barked, trying to get Sam to stop his attacks. And Sam, who sensed the Alpha orders. Did stop, but as he stopped, Tyrone got out his hunting knife and pierced it into the youngest Winchester's heart.

"NO!" Dean and John shouted, John got out his gun and shot Tyrone on the spot, without hesitation. Morgan was recovering from the recent knockout, holding a hand to his head as he watched in amazement how the Lykan reacted to the silver-made hunting knife.

Sam whimpered and whined, the knife still lodged into his chest, he staggered and limped away from all four hunters surrounding him, now not seeing family, just seeing people that could kill him. He felt protective of himself, he felt like he was in danger.

Sam tried to growl as he continued to step back, protecting himself and making sure the hunters were afraid of him, not the other way around. But it didn't work, one of them held his hands out in surrender, but kept walking towards him. He was speaking, but Sam was in too much pain to make out the words. Until he could hear them of course.

"Sammy, it's okay. It's Dean." Dean could tell that the words didn't seem to be connecting in Sam's mind, probably because he was wounded, defensive and still in Lykan form. So, Dean spoke in a way he knew Sam could hear. He remembered what Sam had said when killing the original Lykan, and knew that this small wound wouldn't kill his brother. _'Cut out the heart. Decapitate the head. Mutilate the body. Burn the corpse.'_ Four steps to killing a Lykan and this wasn't even half of one. Sam was going to be fine, if Dean could get to him and take out the dagger, it would be so much easier.

Sam unconsciously turned back into his human form, still staggering away from Dean, he ripped the knife out of his chest and cried out in pain. He would've collapsed if Dean didn't catch him in time. They both fell to the floor, Dean covering Sam's ears as John shot Morgan in the head. Although secretly knew that the gunshot wouldn't have been blocked from Sam's super-hearing-abilities.

"Sammy?" Dean began.

"Yeah…" Sam whispered, just enjoying being in Dean's hold again. His Alpha's accepting, loving hold.

"I don't care what you are, you'll always be my pain-in-the-ass little brother, and now that you're a Lykan you're a lot harder to kill, making my job of keeping you alive so much easier. You're my Lykan, and I'm your Alpha apparently. But we're Winchester's, we're stronger together and we fight until the death." Dean commented.

"Great speech." Sam chuckled, he was in a joking mood, was he? Well… Dean could play too.

"Hey Sam?" Dean smirked.

"What?" Sam responded back, wearily. He could feel Dean's smirk from a mile away.

"Are you gonna turn into Morgan someday? You know, being that you both have a weird fetish for research?" Dean laughed. Sam swung his arm and whacked Dean in the head.

"Moron." Sam laughed back. They both enjoyed the hold of each other, and the safety that gave, both as brothers and Lykan team.

They were far from normal. Sam was a supernatural creature that was usually hunted, living in a family of hunters. Although, throughout the years. Most of his favourite hunts were when they got to be in the woods where he could shift into his Lykan form, and take a howl at that moon.


	5. 5 - Never

**Chapter 5 - Never**

 **.Pre-Series.**

Sam = 16

Dean = 20

 _Sam and Dean are in a feud, they go from silences to completely yelling all in one go. Then Dean goes and says the worst thing he possibly can. Leading into Sam's suicide attempt from built up depression._

* * *

Sam and Dean have been arguing for weeks now. And John was just getting tired of hearing it, sending them on a silence had been the best option at the time. But it only released even more rage between them both when the silence was over and their first fight had begun to break out.

"If you focused on the hunt more-…" Dean began, looking directly at Sam as he tried to speak.

"Well, if you weren't such a soldier then I'd have nothing to be compared too!" Sam barked out angrily.

"Would you let me speak?!" Dean snapped, angry at the interruption.

"Why should I? You're just going to repeat the same thing." Sam shrugged, folding his arms.

"At least I'm good enough for Dad's approval." Dean argued.

"At least I don't seek out Dad's approval, at least I don't get all cut up inside when he doesn't show me affection." Sam argued right back.

"Come off your high horse Sam. You beg for Dad's approval, and when you don't get it. You get all mopey and depressed." Dean chuckled sarcastically at the lies falling from his little brother.

"Can you both stop!? My God what has gotten into the pair of you, you both used to be inseparable?" John asked, separating the argument.

"I've been surrounded by 'freak' for far too long." Dean growled, glaring at Sam, who only sent a glare back in return.

"You're both on a silence from one another. Maybe that will stop this stupid argumentative nature you've both got going on. Save the anger for the things we hunt." John ordered. Sam huffed and stormed to the bedroom, Dean rolled his eyes from Sam's childish behaviour and grabbed his jacket, keys, wallet and phone before leaving the motel room.

* * *

Five days after the silence was placed, it was Friday, and the brothers hadn't spoken all week. Barely even shared hateful looks. It was after school when the worst of the arguments and hatred had taken place. Sam was walking out towards the Impala, looking at Dean on his phone outside of it and rolling his eyes.

"Hey! Losechester!" some kid from Sam's grade barked out as he was tripped and shoved to the ground, he stood up and knew he couldn't fight all three of the bullies alone, but didn't want to call Dean for backup. He wanted Dean to think he could take care of himself.

"Mitchell." Sam greeted, looking down towards the ground, standing up and gathering his things.

"Did I say you could get up!?" Mitchell barked out, shoving Sam to the ground once more. This time, Sam stayed on the ground.

"Look at him? Where's your all-powerful brother now Losechester!" The kid next to Mitchell mocked. _'I think his names Paxton. Not too sure, don't really stop to ask questions.'_ Sam thought, looking behind him and finding Dean looking at the commotion. Why wasn't he coming do help? Although Sam didn't want his help, he couldn't help but feel hurt that Dean wouldn't automatically come to his rescue like he usually did. There's probably some reasonable explanation.' Sam needed there to be a reasonable explanation as to why Dean wasn't helping him.

"Is that him there?" The third kid… Corey commented.

"Oh boy. He sure looks like he hates you. Not even coming over here to save your loser ass. What's the matter Losechester? Gonna cry." Mitchell laughed, the kids surrounding them laughed as well. "Your brothers probably trying to find a way to get rid of you. I wouldn't blame him. I'd wanna get away from you too." Mitchell added, earning another round of laughter.

"If you wanna get away from me so much…" Sam began, looking back towards Mitchell as he stood up. "Then why are you always the one to come up to me." He had to stand for himself, if no one else would.

"Because someone has to pay attention. Your brother hates you, your father probably hates you. And your Mommy probably wants you dead." Mitchell chuckled, that had been the last straw for Sam, he swung his fist back and smashed it into Mitchell's jaw with all the force he could muster, which had to be a lot because he felt a shock of bad pain in his wrist and Mitchell ended up on the ground. Everyone around them gasped in shock, he felt someone grab his shoulder roughly and spin him around.

"What the hell Sam?!" It was Dean, why did he come when he saw that the other kid needed help? Why not come when his damn brother needed help?

"What?" Sam asked innocently, knowing it would piss his brother off. He had every right to piss Dean off right now. But they were on a silence. Not supposed to talk.

"This isn't over Winchester!" Mitchell barked out angrily, Sam looked back and saw him getting help standing up by his mates, the glare said that he was in some real trouble. And if Sam wasn't a hunter, he'd be shit scared. But he was a hunter, so he was stronger than that.

"Let's go." Dean growled menacingly, squeezing down on Sam's shoulder as he shoved him towards the car. Didn't mean he wasn't scared of his older brother though.

"Back off!" Sam barked, not liking being man-handled.

"Hurry up. We're gonna go back to the motel, and then you're in trouble. But not in public, because they can't hear most of the conversation." Dean murmured, afraid to raise his voice any higher in case he started losing it. He was close to losing it, but couldn't. Not yet.

They arrived back at the motel and as soon as Dean shoved Sam into the motel and slammed the door close, a fight finally broke out.

"What the hell was that Samuel Winchester!? You don't go around hitting people!" Dean barked out, stepping close to Sam, who wanted to step further back. But held his ground.

"What was I supposed to do?! He said that you and Dad hated me and that-…" Sam didn't get to finished his response.

"So, what?! Some kid said some dreadful things and you go and punch him!" Dean yelled, he was super pissed.

"Let me speak!" Sam tried to yell above his brother's anger. It started to piss him off. "You get all upset when I interrupt you and look how much the tables have turned!" Sam added angrily. "He said that-…" Sam tried again. But, was once more cut off.

"Who cares what the kid said! You're a hunter and you've had more training then he has! You pack a heavier punch! Oh wait… I've forgotten, you can't punch for shit." Dean laughed. "After all, that's why you're the weakest link of the family right. Hardly even a Winchester. Losechester." Dean laughed, using the same name that he had heard the boys using. Sam snapped, shoving Dean so his back hit the wall.

"Don't. You. Dare! Say that shit to me you got that! Don't you dare call me Losechester! After all, you're the one sits on the sidelines! Where were you when the other kids were picking on me?! Huh! Nowhere! I counted on you to help me and you let me down!" Sam yelled angrily. It was a good thing that John wasn't in the motel right now.

"Come off it Sam. I can't be there to rescue your Damsel in Distress ass all the time! You should stand up for yourself. And I don't mean going around and punching people that hurt your itty-bitty feelings." Dean mocked.

"Don't speak so mighty of yourself. I could list off a few of your mistakes too Dean!" Sam defended.

"Of course, you could! When something doesn't go your way, or someone tells the truth you get all uptight and defensive. God! Sometimes I wish you were never born!" Dean barked out, shoving Sam back. This time hard, Sam once again ended up on the floor.

"Well I was! So, deal with it and move on!" Sam tried to get back up, only for Dean to shove him back down.

"Yeah? I'm aware that you were born Sam! It was kinda the reason Mom died in the first place! It was the reason Dad and I turned to hunting! It was the reason my entire life was ruined!" Dean barked out. Sam stopped moving, stopped breathing, he wanted to stop existing.

"Enough." Sam pleaded, not wanting to hear anymore.

"Sometimes I just wish you had died instead of her. Or at least have Azazel take you away instead." Dean whispered, Sam barely heard it. But just barely, meaning he still did. And enough had been enough. He finally broke.

"ENOUGH!" Sam screamed, his breath coming out in a sob as he began crying. Sam stood up and looked directly at Dean, who didn't even flinch. "Would that make you happy? For me to die? For me to KILL MYSELF!" Sam screamed through the tears, sobbing out hitches of breaths.

Dean didn't even think, he wanted to apologize, but he was still way to angry. He wanted so badly to apologize, walk up to his brother and hold him, but the words that came out instead were… "It's a start."

"Don't talk to me, and don't touch me ever again. If I'm that much of a burden, it won't be hard for you to ignore me and leave me alone." With that Sam burst out crying, turned and ran off into his bedroom, slamming and locking the door close. He collapsed onto the ground, and that's where the real depression began.

* * *

John came home later that night, Dean on the sofa drinking a beer and looking blankly at the TV, not watching it at all. Whereas Sam was nowhere to be found.

"Where's your brother?" John asked. Placing his bag on the ground beside the door.

"Sulking." Dean responded, taking another sip of the beer.

"What happened?" John asked, confused.

"Got into an argument at school, some kid was badmouthing him so he clocked him one." Dean stated, trying to hide the smirk because he knew his father was going to be pissed.

"What was the kid saying?" John growled. Yep, he was pissed.

"Something about us hating him. There was something else but I didn't pay much attention." Dean chuckled.

"He knows we don't hate him, that's no reason to lash out. I'll go and talk to him." John murmured, walking towards Sam's bedroom, Sam and Dean have had separate bedrooms since the argumentative behaviour began. Dean smirked at the trouble that Sam was in, didn't mean he was guilty for the things he had said to him. There was no excuse for that, but damn the kid just pissed him off lately.

"Sam!" John snapped, walking into his son's room. His anger immediately disappearing when he saw Sam on the floor, curled into a ball. "Sammy!" he barked out in fear, collapsing beside his youngest and ripping him up towards him.

"What?" Sam sobbed, then John realised that he wasn't hurt. He was crying. Crying harder than he had ever seen him.

"Sammy?" John whispered. Placing his hand on Sam's cheek and lifting his face to look at him. Sam saw the look in his father's eyes and tried to pry himself away, in  
John's surprise, he succeeded.

"Don't touch me." Sam growled, composing himself.

"Sam, listen." John requested, standing up to face his youngest. Trying to calm him down.

"Get out." Sam ordered, John was hurt. His son was kicking him out, kicking his family out. This feud with his brother had gone on far too long. It was time for them all to sit down, he could see how much it was ruining the brothers. And he could tell that it's pushed Sam too far.

"Dean!" John barked out, Sam was confused. Why wasn't he getting out. "Take a seat Sam." John ordered, Sam walked towards his bed and sat down, leaning against the headrest. John took a seat on the chair beside the small take as Dean came in. "Sit down." John ordered again. Dean took a seat on the edge of the bed, not looking towards Sam.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, facing his father.

"This feud, whatever is going on between the two of you ends now. I don't care what it takes, but I am locking the two of you in here until matters are resolved, I'm done with all the arguments and distractions. Fix it, I don't care if it takes a week. Fix it." John ordered, walking out the room and locking the door on his way out.

Silence filled the room. None of the boys willing to strike a conversation, not knowing that John was just outside the door, leaning against it and waiting for something to happen. Not forgetting the look in Sam's eyes, he knew the look well. Depression. One of the worst monsters that they couldn't kill easily. They could do as much research as they wanted, and still not find a way to properly kill it.

Back in the room Sam had moved to sit on the chair John was previously sitting on, he had to get as far away from Dean as possible. No longer wanting to be around his older brother. "I don't see a point anymore…" Sam began, although not knowing exactly what he was talking about, but using the main topic as an excuse to keep going. "This argument. I don't see a point in fighting anymore. I just don't care too anymore. I'm done." Sam whispered, stating what he felt. Stating how he wanted to continue. Which wasn't at all.

Dean's eyes widened, hearing the sadness in his words and the thought behind them. Sam didn't apologise, he said he didn't care. And it made Dean feel worse, because Sam didn't even care enough to argue with him anymore.

"Yeah. Maybe we did go a little too far." Dean almost fell off the bed when Sam looked up at him, who noticed the look in Dean's eyes and wanted more than anything to be alone. Sam got up and walked towards the door. Banging on it for their dad to let him out. "Sammy… you know I didn't mean what I said right? I… god I can't believe I said that. I'm so sorry little brother, it… it was the worst thing I could've said to you, I pushed it too far." Dean whispered, Sam froze and turned around. Dean saw the sadness, the rage in his little brother's eyes.

"Pushed it too far?!" Sam snapped. "You told me that you would rather I be dead instead of Mom! Do you wanna know what Mitchell said that deserved a punch? He said that Mom wanted me dead! Everyone wants me dead and you know what? I want me dead too." Sam barked out angrily. Dean's eyes widened in fear, his own little brother wanted to be dead.

"Sam. No. Listen…" Dean pleaded, even he wanted to punch that Mitchell kid in the face. He felt horrible. Sam turned around just as John opened the door and he burst out the room. No one knew of the sleeping medication he had with him as he raced out the door. He had to be alone for this.

"Sam!" He heard Dean shout, Sam continued to walk away, hands in his pocket and one of the grabbing hold of the pill bottle. Suddenly, Sam was roughly pulled back and surrounded by two arms that wrapped around him.

"Let go!" Sam barked out, trying to get out of his arms.

"No Sammy. Because I know exactly what you'll do if I let you leave tonight." Dean whispered sadly. "And I can't let you. Because I love you brother. I don't want you dead, I want you beside me. I didn't mean it, I swear to you." Dean whispered, Sam heard him, and he was crying.

"Let. Me. GO!" Sam roared, trying to attack Dean as much as he could to be able to get away. "I want to be dead. I can't be here anymore!" Sam cried. Pleading for Dean to let him go.

"Yes, you can Sammy. Stop. Fighting. Me." Dean growled out, before Sam's arms were yanked out of his jacket pocket, sending the pill bottle flying to the ground and smashing open.

"NO! What have you done?!" Sam barked, turning around to face Dean and trying to push him away, tears falling from his eyes. Dean looked at the pill bottle, a million thoughts running through his mind. But he just kept holding on, he couldn't let his little brother go. Too much has happened between them for Dean to let him go now.

"Let go! Let go of me!" Sam pleaded, pushing Dean away, after a while of fighting him, he had finally just grabbed hold of Dean's jacket and cried, not letting his older brother go. "Please… please." Sam whispered, repeating himself over and over. "Don't let go."

"Never Sam. Never." Dean responded, holding him closer, like if they were to let go, they'd lose each other all over again.

"Never, please." Sam repeated, closing his eyes at the comfort of his brother, Dean soon did the same, resting his forehead on Sam's head.

"Never." Dean whispered. It was a promise they both made to each other.


	6. 6 - Down With The Sickness

**Chapter 6 – Down With The Sickness**

 **.Season 2.**

 _Sam, Dean and John never got into the car crash, Dean had never come face to face with a reaper and John never died. But they do find out that if they kill Azazel, his entire bloodline of psychic's die with him. And yet, Sam is the one who kills him anyway. Resulting in the death of all psychic's. But does it include Sam?_

* * *

"So, what do we do now?" Sam asked, standing in the abandoned room as Dean got up from the ground, they were all shocked to hear the news.

" _But don't you see? You kill me, and my bloodline of psychic's die with me. That includes your little Sammy here."_

Those words from Azazel had made Dean drop the colt that he held at Sam. Unable to shoot Azazel and kill his brother in the process.

"We go to Bobby's, stay there for a bit until we come up with our next move." Dean stated.

"We need to find Azazel." Sam argued, if Dean had just shot him, this entire thing would be over with, and they could just go back to the simple hunts.

"And do what Sam? Kill him? You heard what he said and you know what's going to happen. I know that your sacrificial ass would kill him anyway but I'm not going to let you die. I will let that bastard live if it means you get to live too." Dean snapped, John was silent. In shock, he wanted to avenge his Mary, but couldn't if it was at the cost of his son. It left him with a gaping hole in his chest.

"You know we have to do this?!" Sam barked, frustrated that he wasn't already dead, they should've shot him before he started talking. "I mean… we have to find a way that I don't die from this. There's gotta be a loophole. I want him dead, God I want him dead. But I don't wanna die in return." Sam rephrased, he really didn't want to die, there's just gotta be another way to get rid of Azazel.

"You won't die, because we're going to let this go." John informed, both Dean and Sam looked towards their Dad in complete confusion. He was just letting this go. Years and years of pushing them both into killing this demon, training them for this exact moment and he was just going to let it go.

"What do you mean? You've been gunning for this demon, Dad you've taken almost your entire life hunting down this bastard, and you're just gonna let it go?" Sam asked, Dean was ecstatic, Sam wasn't gonna die and their Dad was on board with that plan. But he still felt bad that now John had nothing to focus his attention on. He knew it was going to be like this when they had finished the bastard. But, they hadn't finished him, they let him walk, and that just felt worse.

"I'm not going to hunt him down if it means the cost of my son. I don't give a fuck if he burns the world to the grown." John winced at the wrong choice of words. "It means that you'll stay alive Sam." He added, Sam's heart bloomed at the love he was receiving from his family.

"But, what now?" Sam repeated the question that had started the entire conversation.

"Now, we do what Dean said and go to Bobby's, he's gonna wanna hear this. And maybe we can stay there for a while before getting back into the hunt." John smiled at his sons. Sam knew that he had gone way past normal, and knew that now, he didn't want to go back to school. He just wanted to be with his family.

"What if Azazel tries to kill us all?" Sam asked, not knowing what to do in a situation like that.

"Then we die fighting." Dean replied.

"We just roll over and die!?" Sam snapped, not liking the answer.

"It's either he kills us or we kill him, you and thousands of other psychics that are probably innocent people as well." Dean snapped back.

"It won't be worth it if I have to watch you die Dean." Sam stated.

"Let's just high tale to Bobby's, we'll talk more when the old man is involved." John ordered, they all began cleaning up their weapons and heading out towards the Impala, ready for the journey to Bobby's. 

* * *

"What's going on?" Bobby asked, confused. He hadn't seen John in years, but they all looked, confused, depressed. It didn't sit right. "Why the long faces?" he tried to boast up the mood. Didn't work.

"We've got a lot of explaining to do." Sam was the one who spoke, he gave Bobby a quick hug on the way inside.

"Too right." Bobby responded, looking towards his old friend in confusion. John just motioned inside as Dean passed them with his own duffle bag.

Sam and Dean placed their duffle bags in their shared room before heading back downstairs, sad smiles between the two as they went and sat down in the living room. Where Bobby and John were waiting.

"What's going on?" Bobby repeated.

"We can't kill Azazel, nor can anyone else for that matter. In fact, Azazel's probably high on our protecting list." John stated, so much hate and venom at the mention of his wife's killer.

"What?!" Bobby gasped, he never thought he'd hear such words from the fierce Winchester who had spent almost his whole life hunting the demon that he now needs to protect.

"If Azazel dies, all psychics that he's created die with him. It's his bloodline thing." Dean commented.

"Including me." Sam added, Bobby looked between all three Winchester's before his eyes finally rest on Sam. Why the hell would the world be so cruel? Their worst enemy is linked with their most cherished prize, and now they could no longer rid the world of the evil known as Azazel.

"Oh hell." Bobby muttered, taking a seat and placing his hand over his mouth in thought. "What do we do then? Obviously, we can't kill him but he can't stay here." Bobby asked.

"Nothing. We can't do anything to Azazel. Because the only thing we can do is kill him. We could send him back to hell, but he'd only come back soon after." John sighed, sitting down on the opposite chair to Bobby and holding his head in his hands.

"So, we keep hunting. Just because we can't hunt down one demon doesn't mean that there isn't other evil out there. We've still got work to do." Sam informed, looking at all the members of his family.

"Great speech." Dean smirked, mocking his brother. Earning a chuckle from the youngest Winchester.

They were too busy to notice the figure in the dark. Or the yellow eyes that it obtained. They were too busy to know of the plans that this yellow eyed figure was conjuring up. 

* * *

It was during the night, approximately 3:12am when the fight went down. Sam, as always was having another one of his horrific nightmares. This one was different, it was about a strange figure in the dark, someone he couldn't recognise. Yet by the time he woke up, he couldn't remember the dream.

Sam awoke covered in sweat and shivers, looking around the room he couldn't see any sign of Dean, so after checking the time he got out of bed and looked around. Exiting the room, walking down the halls. He checked in Bobby's room, his Dad's room. And no one was anywhere. He walked towards his father's bedside table, picking up the only gun he could find at the time. It just so coincidentally happened to be the Colt. After leaving his father's room, he heard voices coming from downstairs, hushed voices. So, Sam sneakily walked towards the stairs, not being able to catch sight of anything. He continued walking.

After hearing a big clash. He bounded down the stairs, aiming the gun. He walked into the living room and the sight shocked him, he saw John and Bobby plastered on the wall in a cross-like hold and Dean bleeding on the ground. Turning to the intruder he aimed the gun up at him.

"Sammy no!" Dean barked out, the intruder turned his gaze to Sam. 'Thanks for blowing my cover jackass, I could've gotten hold of him'. Sam thought with a roll of his eyes. But when the intruder looked at Sam, he understood why Dean was so adamant on keeping him alive.

"Azazel." Sam growled, hating how he couldn't kill Azazel without killing possibly thousands of innocents as well. But what could he possibly do, he was killing Dean. He would kill his entire family and not care, now that he had the upper hand.

"Sammy. My boy. It's good to see you. How about you put that Colt down and come over here?" Azazel smirked, knowing he wouldn't get shot.

"How about I keep the Colt aimed at you and stay exactly where I am?" Sam rhetorically questioned, not taking his eyes off the movements of Azazel, one wrong turn and Azazel would be no more.

"You can't kill me Sam, not without killing anyone else. Your family, they always make the mistake of getting in my way." Azazel growled, turning towards Dean and clenching his fist. Dean roared out in pain as his chest started bleeding.

"Stop!" Sam barked, taking the safety off the gun. Azazel was shocked, and that shock was the one thing that made him stop, he heard the noise of the gun and turned around to face Sam again.

"You wouldn't shoot me Sammy." Azazel chuckled, although Sam heard the question.

"Try me." Sam growled.

"Sam no!" John yelled angrily, he hated that he couldn't do anything. He hated how Azazel now had the other hand, and he hated how their long-time enemy was now about to destroy both of his sons.

"Don't you dare Sammy!" Dean barked out, it was an order. But it was one Sam didn't know if he could go through with.

"I think you should all be very quiet." Azazel ordered, turning to the three and raising his hands to them, blood started seeping from their eyes and Sam knew that if he didn't start moving now, his family would die. He panicked, forgot what breathing meant, what it was. Then he saw Dean fly across the room, as well as John and Bobby. One shot was all it took, one bullet lodged into his brain. And then Azazel was no more.

Dean, John and Bobby were all unconscious, Azazel was dead, and Sam knew that soon, he would be too. But he also knew that in the process, he had killed so many others. And that was something he couldn't handle. Sam gently placed the Colt on the coffee table and walked outside, he had to think things through, everything was going to change now. He didn't worry about grabbing his coat, couldn't be bothered. He walked towards the Impala, the only place that's ever felt like home to him. Before sitting on the hood of the Impala and just thinking about the events that just happened, and the events that would  
be taking place soon.

* * *

 **Day 1**

Morning reached sooner than expected, and with morning came the awakening of Dean, John and Bobby. Dean was the first to wake up, looking around the room he noticed a few things, John and Bobby were still unconscious, Sam was nowhere to be found, and there was a dead body with a bullet hole. The Colt on the coffee table. Then the events all came back to him, and Dean knew exactly who the dead guy was. Question was, where was Sam.

"What've you done Sam?" Dean asked himself, standing up and placing his hand to his head as pain crashed through his scalp, he felt a white-hot pain in his chest that sent him back tumbling to the floor.

"Easy Dean." John murmured, grabbing his son and helping him lay on the couch. "Bobby! Go get the first aid kit." He ordered, turning back to Dean and taking his shirt off to inspect the wounds properly.

"Dad, that's Azazel." Dean stated, John looked to the side, his memory immediately coming back.

"Sam." John panicked, not his boy. Where was he? He wasn't in the living room. Bobby came back with a first aid kit.

"You gotta let me find him." Dean pleaded, sitting up.

"I'll find him. Bobby stitch him up and keep him steady. I'll talk with Sam... if he's still-…" John ordered, looking towards Bobby before standing up. Questioning the wellbeing of both of his children, but depression filling him at the thought of Sam not being alive anymore.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence. Sam is fine, he's probably in the room, or bathroom, outside, kitchen. I don't know. Just… oh god." Dean panicked, Bobby walked towards him and began his work.

"I think I heard the radio on in the kitchen, I never keep it on." Bobby stated. Cleaning off the dried blood mattering his chest and stomach.

"I'll go there now." John stood up and rushed into the kitchen, the sight shocked him. Sure, there was breakfast ready on the kitchen bench, eggs, bacon, chocolate chip pancakes and orange juice. But the kitchen table was a mess. Books everywhere, papers scattered around the place. Furniture broken, smashed and thrown around. Sam was sitting on the chair in front of the kitchen table, a radio in front of him. Writing things down in an extremely neat workbook. The only thing that looked like Sammy's work, the rest looked like things of a panicking kid.

"Sammy." John whispered, walking closer towards his kid. He walked around the table, trying to get a different view of Sam, who was furiously writing. Then John tuned into what he was listening too.

" _107 recently found dead, the hospitals are baffled at the number of killings within the age 20-25. It has been five hours since the deaths began and so far, reaching a total of 612 within the United States of America. Further notice will be granted as soon as we've heard more of the deaths of United States."_

"She got the number wrong." Sam said above the silence. "620. How can they get the number wrong? It's like the deaths don't even count anymore! I don't get it. How can they get the number wrong?" Sam rambled, writing down the newest number and the total tally of numbers.

"Sammy, calm down buddy. Are all the deaths-?" John didn't have to continue to know, he walked towards his son, kneeled and placed his arms over Sammy's shoulders. He looked pale, he looked sick. The bloodline was working already.

"Yeah. Psychic's. They're dying because I killed Azazel, because I couldn't grab a normal gun and shoot him with that. Because I couldn't use an exorcism. I failed Dad, look at the tally rising. So many people are dying in five fucking hours and it's all my fault!" Sam yelled angrily. He was depressed, upset.

"Sam… it's not your fault. We've gotta get you some help or something, we've gotta fix this. I'll go and find something that'll keep you alive. Hunt down something." John stated, now seeing the total damage that this could do. This was going to kill Sam.

"You're gonna go hunt?! Are you kidding me?! I'm going to fucking die and you're going off to hunt!" Sam roared, standing up and shoving his father back, staggering a little himself but keeping his cool by resting one hand on the table to keep him upright.

"I've killed… I'm killing so many innocents! I'm going to die!" Sam snapped before his expression turned depressed, broken. "I don't wanna die Dad." Sam pleaded, he had tears in his eyes. Hell, John had tears in his own eyes as he watched his son fall apart.

"You won't Sammy. I promise you." John walked towards his son and pulled him in for a long-awaited hug. "I love you Sammy, and I promise you. No matter what, I'll keep you safe. Trust me Sammy. I'll go and find out how to keep you alive okay?" John pleaded for Sam to let him do this, let him find a way to save his son.

"Don't be gone too long, and answer your phone when we call. Be careful. And-…" Sam rambled, pulling away from the hug but not breaking contact.

"I get it. Shouldn't I be the father and you be the son. Calm down Sammy." John whispered. None of them knew of the two other hunters standing by the doorway until Bobby cleared his throat.

"As soon as he starts showing any signs you call me immediately." John ordered, turning to the two hunters by the door. Pointing at Sam furiously to try and state his point further. He needed to make sure his son was safe.

"Be careful Dad." Dean ordered as John pulled him in for a hug. "Call whenever you can."

* * *

A few hours after John's departure Sam was sitting beside the radio again, Dean and Bobby had eaten his breakfast and Dean had done the dishes. Dean hadn't taken his eyes off his brother, which is why Dean was in the kitchen, moving around throughout the hours, dying of boredom.

"Can't we go out?" Dean asked, groaning slightly.

"1,207 deaths. Dean this is skyrocketing out of control and I must keep count so I know how many there were. I need to do this. I have to complete it before-…" Sam cut himself off from speaking. Dean knew exactly what Sam was going to say, and he also knew that Sam was going to run himself through guilt until he was going to… No. Dean couldn't think about that.

"So, you're gonna spend the rest of whatever time you've got sitting in front of a radio writing down numbers that won't make a difference because you'll be too far off this planet to look back at them! They're just going to go in the fireplace before I put a bullet in my own brain!" Dean barked out, standing up and facing his brother. Sam immediately stopped movement, looked up at his brother with wide eyes.

"Dean… no." Sam pleaded. "Think about Dad."

"Think about Dad? Sammy I'm more concerned thinking about you. You know that I won't survive long out here on my own. With you dead. Sammy, we've gotta find a way to stop this before you… before _it_ gets bad." Dean pleaded, he wanted to help Sam, he wanted Sam to help himself. To bring himself up.

"It's already bad. What're you expecting me to do? What do you expect me to fight for knowing how many people I'm killing!" Sam snapped, standing up and almost falling, Dean rushed in and caught him. It was already sinking in. And fast.

"Fight for me Sammy. Because I'm still here, and the only way you can kill me is if you die yourself. So, just please. Don't let yourself die." Dean begged placing a hand on Sam's cheek and making him look down to Dean. "Please." He added.

"What're we supposed to do? Just cut the bloodline?" Sam asked rhetorically, it was just a joke, but Dean's eyes widened once he had the idea.

"Sam?" Dean began, wide eyed.

"What?" Sam asked, concerned.

"You are a genius Sammy. An absolute genius little brother." Dean smiled happily, moving away from Sam but making sure he was standing on his own.

"Why?" Sam wondered.

"I might know a way to save you."

"How?"

"Like you said, break the bloodline."

And after numerous calls, Dean to his father, Bobby to all his hunter friends, and Sam to all the people in Stanford that he had met that might help with the situation. Of course, only telling them intricate details. All saying that they would consider it. And John was more than thrilled to take on the possibility.

After a lot of challenging work, Sam and Dean went into the loungeroom with beer and snacks. This was when it all took a turn for the worse. As soon as the news came on, Sam lost his shit.

" _The loss of 2,463 people from ages 20-25 have hit the citizens of the United States of America. Although the deaths haven't discontinued so far, we have firm believes that they are slowing down and we believe that these unexplainable deaths should stop around tomorrow morning. The hospitals are still baffled at the reasoning of the sudden heart-stopping deaths."_

Dean knew that Sam was going to snap, that death tally was too high. And no theory from any news reporter was going to be accurate on the ending of this tally. "Sam…" Dean tried.

"Don't. Did you hear how many people? I… Dean I… I don't even know what to say. God, I've killed-…" Sam cut himself off, with a little help from Dean who came in a brief time later.

"Sam no. This is not your fault. You need to calm down buddy." Dean begged.

"No! I… I… oh god. I'm gonna die Dean. I'm gonna die, I don't wanna die." Sam whispered, tearing up. Sam stood up, yet he stood up too quickly. He tumbled down and landed on his hands and knees, trying to keep himself up.

"Sam!" Dean called, trying to get to his brother. Sam turned around, still on the ground but facing him.

"No! Don't touch me!" Sam shouted before coughing up a little bit.

"Sam please, trust me. Sammy." Dean whispered, walking slowly towards Sam as if he was a wounded animal. Sam let Dean reach him, let Dean help him stand. "You're getting worse." Dean added.

"I know." Sam responded. They both shared a grim look. "I'm kinda tired." Sam whispered, Dean helped him lay down on the couch, getting one of the cushions.

"Don't go dying on me Sammy." Dean half joked, yet Sam could still hear the worry before falling asleep. Dean switched off the television and walked into the kitchen to get something stronger then beer.

"How's he doin'?" Bobby asked as Dean passed through his office.

"Getting worse." Dean whispered sadly.

"Don't worry, we'll get him a way out. Sam ain't dyin'. Not if you Winchester's have a say about it." Bobby smiled as kindly as he could to lighten up the mood.

"I'm scared Bobby, I'm so scared that I'm going to lose him to this. He's already claiming that he's tired, and he looks so sick Bobby." Dean sighed, tears in his eyes.

"From what I've researched the bloodline should be finished in 24 hours. Ending tomorrow morning." Bobby stated.

"He's going to die by tomorrow! Damn Bobby he's already asleep!" Dean panicked before rushing towards his little brother.

"Dean don't!" Bobby warned, grabbing hold of Dean's bicep.

"Why!?" Dean snapped in panic.

"Because he's just asleep. We'll keep an eye on him. Make sure nothing happens. You heard the news report, every other Psychic's hearts just stopped. Sam's getting sick, maybe it's different because he's the one that killed Azazel. We don't know." Bobby reassured.

"I can't lose him Bobby. I can't watch him die." Dean snapped, grabbing his jacket, wallet, keys and phone before walking out.

"Dean you cannot leave Sam alone with this." Bobby growled, following Dean was he walked to his car.

"I'm not, I'll be back before he wakes up." Dean sighed before speeding straight out of the Salvage Yard.

"Damn it!" Bobby growled to himself, knowing that Dean wouldn't be back anytime soon. He walked back inside, looking at Sam and seeing a frown in his expression. "Sammy?" Bobby questioned, worriedly. He walked towards the kid right before he sat straight up, Bobby knew the look and rushed to get a bucket underneath Sam's mouth as he threw up whatever he ate for breakfast.

"I don't feel too good Bobby." Sam groaned, throwing up all over again.

"Hold this kiddo, I'm going to go get a glass of water for ya' okay. Calm down." Bobby whispered.

"De'n…" Sam coughed, it sounded dry, painful. And Bobby didn't like the sound of it.

"He's out now, but he'll be back really soon." Bobby stated, not knowing how true it was.

"H'rts." Sam teared up, his eyes drooping.

"Sammy. Let's get you some rest okay kiddo. Then maybe we'll get ya' some of the good stuff." Bobby whispered, brushing his hand through the Sam's hair, this was something he knew Dean did to comfort him, but Dean wasn't here. So, he'd just have to try it himself. Make sure Sam was comfortable as he got sicker and sicker.

Bobby moved the bin and sat it on the coffee table to dispose of later so it wouldn't make a smell. He walked towards the cabinet to grab a blanket for the kid, knowing damn well that he wasn't going to move Sam into a place upstairs where he wouldn't be able to see him all the time. After placing the blanket over the sleeping kid, he grabbed the bucket and cleaned everything up. Placing the bin beside Sam when he was done.

Throughout tossing and turning, more throwing up, more cleaning, cooking, researching. Bobby was exhausted and trying to call Dean. But he wasn't responding and Sam was looking worse.

" _A higher rise in the death toll for America has reached 3,004. Hospitals are swarmed with the body count and nobody understands what is going on. We just must consider this a major drop in the world, a heartbreaking memory of what we've lost, the deaths become a historical event for the entirety of the United States."_

The public had given up. But the hunting family, the Winchester's. They still had to figure out a way to rid the bloodline from Sam before they lost one of their own. Bobby switched off the radio, going to Sam's book and writing down the new number, knowing this is what Sam would want him to do now, write down the death count.

He heard Sammy whimpering from the other room, placing his head in his hands not knowing what he could do. "Damn it Dean. Come back and sort your brother out. Please." Bobby whispered, and by some miracle Dean had heard him because he walked straight through the door.

"Hey Bobby." Dean whispered, he'd been drinking. Not enough to get him fully drunk, but enough to get him tipsy.

"Where the hell have you been boy?!" Bobby snapped. "Your brother has been gettin' worse! Throwin' up everything I put into him, pale, sweaty, shivering, he hasn't been able to keep anything in whilst you've been all around the place!" Bobby growled. Dean's eyes widened in shock before walking into the living room, watching as he whimpered.

"He… oh God Bobby." Dean whispered, kneeling beside his brother and brushing his hand through Sam's hair.

"I think it's time to call your father. Get Sammy more comfortable than he is." Bobby whispered.

"He can't be up there on his own Bobby." Dean snapped.

"I was thinking more making room and bringing Sam's bed into the living room, might be a little bit better than the sofa." Bobby informed.

"I'll start getting it sorted, can you call Dad?" Dean asked, standing up and beginning to move the couches and everything for his brother's comfort.

"Sure, thing Dean." Bobby murmured, walking into the kitchen and grabbing his phone. Listening silently to Sam's whimpers, wishing there was more that he could do.

"This is John." He was greeted from the other end of the line.

"You might need to stop looking and come here. Sam's not doing to good right now. And by our calculations, the deaths end in the morning." Bobby stated gloomily.

"Where is Sam? Let me speak with him." John ordered, he sounded worried.

"That isn't possible right now, he's barely coherent as it is. We need you here John, it's gettin' rocky." Bobby said.

"I'm so close to finding a way to cut the bloodline, just tell 'em to hang in there and I'll be there once the bloodline has been severed." John stated before hanging up the phone. Bobby slammed the phone down on the table, he shouldn't be getting this angry, this is exactly how John showed that he cared. Hunting. Bobby decided to just ignore it for now, and head into the living room to help Dean with Sam's area.

He walked into the living room and found that most things had already been moved, there was plenty of space for them to move Sam's bed, he could also tell that the sofa was only moved slightly.

"I couldn't move it, I tried and he… Sam didn't like it so I stopped. The sofa is the last thing that gets moved." Dean ordered, he had the pillow and blanket from Sam's bed placed on the coffee table, folded neatly. "I just need help with the bed." Dean sighed.

"Alright, we'll get the bed and I think I've still got an I.V somewhere that we'll have to place, Sam's gonna need his fluids somehow if he can't keep it down. We can sit that beside him." Bobby ordered, gesturing for Dean to follow him back up into the bedroom.

It took around fifteen minutes to lug around the bed as well as being able to fit it exactly where they wanted it to go. "I'll go grab the I.V, sort the bedding out." Bobby ordered before walking downstairs into the panic room. He kept it in a box, made sure it stayed safe and clean for cases like this.

After everything was set up Dean went out to grab some burgers. They still hadn't moved Sam, they were going to wait for everything to get slightly better before moving him. Hoping that everything _was_ getting better.

"I went and got some curtains, you know the ones they put in hospitals to separate the patients, yeah… those. I got them in black because that's the only colour they had and I figured Sam won't be able to cope with light after a while. He's gonna want some privacy, especially if someone comes over that doesn't know Sammy or anything." Dean rambled as he walked through the front door, placing the bag of food down on the coffee table before setting up the curtains, leaving them open all the way, he moved a chair so it sat beside Sam's bed as well. Yet they still haven't moved him.

They were both sat in the kitchen, eating away in silence when Sam woke up, he was still sick, but at least he could slightly move around. Even if he looked horrible.

"Hey." His voice croaked above the silence.

"Sammy?" Dean questioned, standing up and walking towards his little brother before pulling him in for a hug. "You look like shit Sammy." Dean whispered sadly, placing his hand at the back of Sam's neck and pressing their foreheads together.

"You…" Sam stopped midsentence before pushing Dean away a bit and turning his head to the side.

"Sammy? Talk to me buddy." Dean whispered, trying to reach back out for his brother. But Sam wouldn't accept it, he moved away. "What's going on Sammy? You gotta talk to me man." Dean ordered, taking a step closer.

"Sorry." Sam murmured. "I just... have no clue what that was. I just… forgot everything for a second." He whispered, looking around, clearly confused.

"It's gonna be okay Sammy, you just gotta be okay until tomorrow morning and by then we'll know that you've got a 50% chance at surviving this thing." Dean whispered, not expecting the radio to come on.

" _We've just been noticed of more deaths. Skyrocketing 5,819 deaths in the United States. It appears bodies just immediately dropped themselves at the same point of time. Maybe this is the end of the epidemic. Maybe there's still more to come. Doctors still haven't figured out what's causing all the deaths, but will have further information once tests have been completed."_

"5,819? What? How many of us are there Dean?" Sam croaked, looking towards the radio in shock. He saw Bobby write down the new number in the book, they had been keeping track for him. "Where's Dad?" Sam asked, thinking his Dad was going to be there now that everything was reaching the deadline. "And why is my bed in the living room?" He added.

"You're Daddy ain't here, he says he's close though." Bobby responded.

"Your bed is in the living room because it beats having to cart up and down the stairs all the time. You hungry?" Dean smirked, watching as Sam looked around the table, screwing up his face at the smell.

"No. I'm gonna be sick if I eat anything. Head hurts though." Sam whispered.

"Yeah, I'll get ya' something for that." Bobby murmured before walking out of the kitchen.

"I'm getting worse." Sam stated. "Hell, I'm even starting to lose my mind completely." He added sadly, looking towards Dean who only obtained a sad look in return.

"I don't know what to say little brother. But I am going to make this better, you're not going to be like this forever." Dean promised.

"Nah, I'm just gonna die first." Sam informed, telling Dean what he truly believed. "I just wanna be alone when it actually happens, can't imagine dying when you or Bobby are around ya' know." Sam whispered.

"You're not going to die Sam." Dean growled.

"Get real Dean. Look around you, every Psychic is dying. I'm getting sick, it's gonna end. And soon." Sam snapped, opening his arms out wide.

"But you are different. Maybe it's different because you were the one that killed Azazel, you're different because maybe your body is sick because it's just fighting off the blood that is trying to kill you." Dean reasoned, trying to make Sam believe that he could survive this. Yet, mostly trying to make himself believe that Sam would survive this. With only a few hours until morning. Dean was getting desperate.

"Okay. Okay. I'm too tired to argue right now." Sam sighed, brushing his hand over his face before once again looking around the room.

"How about we get you some food, I know you said you weren't hungry but we've gotta try. Okay?" Dean asked, trying to be as careful as he could.

"I don't think I can." Sam whispered, taking a seat across from where Dean was sitting.

"I bought some plain crackers with me when I was out, wanna try one of them? You've gotta eat something Sammy." Dean stated, walking to the shopping bag and grabbing out a small box of crackers, he decided o grabbing a cup of water as well, before sitting both objects in front of his brother. He sat across from him, back in his usual seat. "Bobby called Dad before." Dean bought up a conversation. He didn't like the silence.

"What did he say?" Sam asked, looking up at Dean as he steadily opened the box of crackers, he took one and bit on it, taking the smallest nibble to see if it would spike anything. Dean smiled widely at the sight of his sick little brother eating something.

"He said that he was close to cutting the bloodline between you and Azazel, he cuts the bloodline and you don't die." Dean stated.

"Yeah, he cuts my bloodline. But what about all those other Psychic's, the other ones that are dying because I couldn't fight Azazel properly." Sam snapped.

"Calm down Sammy. We can't help any of the other Psychic's because by morning they are all going to be dead, but you've still got time. We've still got time to get you better." Dean defended, truth was, he couldn't care less about the rest of the world right now. Sure, it sucked that so many people were dying because of Azazel, but Sam was dying too, and Sam was Dean's top priority right now.

"Don't tell me to calm down I-… I don't want to be like this anymore." Sam whispered, placing his head in his hand as he took another nibble of the cracker.

"I know, and we'll fix it." Dean told, placing his hand over the one that Sam had his head leaning against. Bobby walked into the room, Dean straightened himself back up again and Sam greedily took the pills he held out, drowning them down with water.

"Think you'll be up for a walk outside later little brother?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"Why? You never like walking?" Sam frowned in confusion.

"Yeah, but you like walking. And we've gotta get you up and moving. So, a walk is out best bet right now." Dean shrugged.

"Sure." Sam smiled sadly, he had to find the correct place he wanted to die anyway. A walk was his best bet, if not for his health, then for his death.

After they continued eating, and made sure Sam would hold his food down, Sam and Dean went for a walk. Bobby said that someone in town needed him for a hunting thing so he had taken off. The boys didn't go far, just around the salvage yard, making sure that if Sam did collapse, Dean would be able to bring him inside as soon as possible.

"When are we going hunting?" Sam asked.

"What? Hunting? Sam, you may be able to move but if you think for a second that I'm taking you hunting whilst you're this sick, then you're sicker then we all had originally thought." Dean was shocked that Sam would even mention hunting after all that has happened so far.

"I just figured-…" Sam began.

"No man. I'm not suicidal. And I'm not going to get you killed, don't care if it's a simple ghost hunt. Because nothing is ever simple and you can still die. We're going to stay here Sammy, we're going to stay here until you get better." Dean interrupted in argument.

"What if I don't get better Dean!?" Sam had finally snapped. "Think about it for a moment?! What if I don't get better?! I get it Dean, really, I do. I'm gonna go and you're gonna be left here alone, but you've been without me before, you're gonna be fine." Sam sighed, he didn't want to die, he was scared. But he needed Dean to be okay.

"I've been without you before?" Dean rhetorically questioned in shock. "I knew you were alive Sammy!" Dean barked out, he was angry. How could Sam think for a moment that Dean would even remotely be fine without him?

"I just-…" Sam cut himself off before staggering back a little. Dean knew the look on his face, it was the same look that Sam had inside not too long ago.

"Sammy?" Dean questioned, trying to take a step towards his brother. He remembered what Sam had said.

 _-I just... have no clue what that was. I just… forgot everything for a second.-_

Sam staggered further back, using the car behind him to lean on as to not fall, Sam had his head down, he looked confused, shocked. He looked up and kept his eyes straight ahead of him.

"Sammy. Come on man, look at me." Dean tried walking closer, but Sam took another step away before looking back to the ground. "I'm Dean." He introduced. Sam closed his eyes, he looked like he was having an inner debate. Before snapping them weakly to Dean.

"Dean." Sam whispered, standing up straight and frowning. Dean smiled a little, walked towards his brother and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It's gonna be alright." Dean reassured.

"I'm tired." Sam groaned, feeling something running down his face, he placed a hand underneath his nose. It was bleeding. Dean's eyes widened.

"Come inside and we'll clean you right up. Get you some sleep." Dean ordered, leading his brother inside.

* * *

Bobby walked through the door, dinner in his hands, he looked towards the living room and saw Dean on the chair beside his brother. "What happened?" he spoke up, Dean looked at him. Tears in his eyes and still falling.

"I took him inside, everything was fine Bobby. He had a blood nose and as soon as it stopped he collapsed. I put him in the bed but… Damn it I thought he was getting better. We've only got a few hours left." Dean whispered depressingly.

"I know, but now all we can do is be here for him." Bobby whispered before the front door was slammed close. Bobby got up, Dean grabbed his gun in defence.

"Dad?" Dean questioned, making sure he really was there.

"Where's Sam?" John asked, not faltering in his movements.

"Over there, he won't wake up but he can still hear you." Dean whispered, John walked towards his youngest son.

"Sammy." He whispered, brushing a hand lightly through his hair. "I need to look through some of your books Bobby, and I've got a hunting buddy coming down tomorrow to help out." John rushed through what he was saying before storming off into the office.

"What do you want me to do Dad?" Dean asked, following him. He needed an order, he needed to know what to do. Because right now he had no clue what he was supposed to do. He was hoping that his father had ordered him to research, to allow him an excuse to take his mind off everything.

"I need you to get some research done. Head to the library in town." John ordered.

"I can't leave Dad, I can't leave Sammy hear. What if something happens and I'm not here to be with him when he-…" Dean cuts himself off, not even daring to say what he was thinking. John stopped what he was doing, he knew the seriousness of the situation, and he knew that Dean wouldn't want to leave.

"Okay, alright. It's okay Dean. We'll just figure out what we can here. Grab some books on whatever you can find that might relate to this thing. We'll break the bloodline." John reassured.

" _A major downfall in the deaths. Leading to a total 6,714. Hospitals have given up searching for a reasoning behind this unexpected fall, but a secret team are still searching for answers. A memorial will take place in all towns, cities and states in the United Nation as a loss for these adults that will be missed."_

"That's not the end of it. It ends in the morning." Dean stated.

"Then we've got a lot of work to do." Bobby chimed into the conversation as he walked into the office room.

* * *

 **Day 2**

"What time is it?" Dean asked as he snapped awake, getting up from the table he had his arms crossed on and his head resting as he slept.

John looked at the time from the book he was reading. "8:42." He commented, before moving back to his book. Dean's eyes widened before standing up swiftly.

"Sammy!" Dean barked out, rushing towards the bed where his brother was. Panicking, it was morning. The deaths were supposed to be over with. Dean stopped in his tracks, when he saw that the bed was empty.

"Come here." John ordered with a small smile, Dean followed him, he was led to a window, looking outside he saw Sammy with Bobby, Bobby was helping him walk around.

"He woke up at around 7:20 this morning. Had some food and started reading one of Bobby's books to see if he could help cut the bloodline. Got a bit sick and threw up, then Bobby took him outside to help him walk around a bit, get some fresh air. He's doing better." John informed happily. Eyes on the youngest Winchester, who was wobbling and falling. But kept hold of both the car and Bobby who had an arm out for him to hold on.

Dean didn't say anything in return, he just ran to the door, grabbed his jacket and was about to run out before being interrupted. "I don't think so." John stated, shutting the door that Dean had opened. "Eat breakfast first please. Because I know that as soon as you go out there you aren't going to be eating." He added.

"I'm not a kid anymore." Dean grumbled, trying to get out.

"You'll always be my kid Dean. No outside until you've eaten breakfast." John ordered, pushing Dean towards the kitchen. He opened the microwave and bought out a bowl of porridge and a cup of coffee. "Want it all gone before you go." John stated before walking out into the living room. He grabbed one of Bobby's books, and sat at the table in front of the window.

"Dad, I wanna go see Sammy." Dean called out, grumbling, sculling down the coffee before digging into the porridge.

"After your breakfast Dean. Can't have you working yourself to death without any food." John yelled back in response. Dean grabbed the porridge and went to go sit with John, mainly to look out the window and watch how his brother was doing.

Sam was wobbling towards where Bobby was, tired and feeling sickly, but not giving up. He loved the smell of the fresh air, and marvelled in the fact that he didn't have to be unconscious to the world and lying in the same bed for hours.

"You're doin' great Sam." Bobby applauded Sam's efforts, who found that he still couldn't keep standing. Sam toppled over and bought his hands out to halt his fall.

"Damn it!" Sam scolded, turning over so he was casually sitting down. Bobby rushed and kneeled beside him. "I can't do it. I'm not strong enough yet." Sam grumbled, before feeling a wave of nausea. He flew away from Bobby and threw up on the ground. Coughing in every spare moment he had. It was a struggle to breathe, like usual. But no one could stop the nauseating attacks from happening.

"It's alright Sammy." Sam heard a new voice. He knew it was Dean, and he was pleased to hear his brother. But this really wasn't the time for him to come over. Sam tried shoving him away in shame, but Dean wasn't having any of it. "I'm not leaving you Sam, I promise." Dean whispered, rubbing his back.

Sam's attacks stopped soon after, he sat up straight with the help of Dean and Bobby. "You okay buddy, maybe we should go inside." Dean offered.

"No." Sam grumbled. "I've spent too much time already inside, I wanna stay out here for a bit longer." He added, knowing that if he went inside he would want to go straight to bed and sleep.

"Okay, well I wanna get some work done on Baby whilst we're here, how about you come with me and you can chill out?" He offered again, needing something to do but not wanting to take his eyes off his little brother in case something happened. Sam nodded in response.

"I'll head inside, your Dad's probably lookin' for another case, now that he don't have to look at cuttin' the bloodline." Bobby stated, petting both the boys on the back before walking back inside. Dean helped stand Sam up and they both walked towards the Impala, Dean helping Sam along the way.

They got to the car, Dean opened the hood and Sam sat down leaning up against a pillar. "You feel any better today?" Dean asked, making up conversation to avoid the silence.

"It's not been too bad today, other than not being able to walk and feeling like complete shit. But I haven't been too bad." Sam responded, he turned to the side, suddenly feeling extremely sleepy, he knew he couldn't sleep now. He didn't want to, not with the risk of getting sick all over again.

A few minutes of silence between the brothers became all too real for Dean. He needed to hear his brothers voice and stop thinking through his own mind. "Hey Sammy, what do you say that we take Baby and head out to town. I'm sure we could both use-… Sammy?" Dean turned around and saw Sam asleep, leaning up against the pillar. He looked… No.

"Sammy. You answer me." Dean ordered, rushing to his little brothers side Dean turned Sam's head, so he was facing the direction of Dean's eyes. He had blood falling from his nose, and the corner of his mouth. "Sam!" Dean cried out, terrified. He placed his middle and index finger to the point of Sam's neck, trying to find a pulse, one found he checked his breathing. It was there. "Dad! Dad!" Dean screamed out, he couldn't carry Sam on his own. John came barrelling out of the house soon after hearing his name belted from the garage. "I don't understand. It was supposed to be finished with. He was better, he looked better." Dean rambled, John saw the damage Sam had physically, but he also saw the damage Dean had mentally. And his heart broke at the sight.

"Is he…" Bobby spoke from behind John.

"He's alive." Dean growled at the question. "He was fine, then I turned around and he wasn't waking up. He isn't responding to anything I say or do and I don't know what to do." Dean croaked, trying to keep from crying. Sam looked so much worse. He started coughing again, coughing up a little more blood. But not waking up, yet scaring all three hunters more. "He was supposed to be getting better. This was supposed to end." Dean snapped.

They got Sam inside and lay him on the bed, Dean sat on the chair beside him. Not moving, mostly dabbing a cold cloth on Sam's head, and cleaning the blood that came from his nose and mouth. Yet, he still hadn't awoken. "You wake up soon Sammy. You aren't supposed to die. Dad is back in the office looking for something, Bobby went out to the library. He's gonna come back with food later, how about you wake up by the time he comes back and you'll be able to have some of that rabbit food you like so much." Dean whispered, brushing his hand through Sam's hair.

There was a loud knock on the door, Dean whipped around and grabbed his gun, cocking the safety off and getting ready to shoot if needed. John walked out of the office and went towards the door. "Who is it?" Dean asked casually, but glaring lightly.

"Richard. The hunting friend I said was coming down." John responded before opening the door. "Didn't think you were gonna turn up." He added as a man walked through the door.

"I wasn't at first, then I remembered how desperate the infamous Winchester sounded. Oh shit, that the boy?" Richard asked, pointing towards the kid lying in the bed, Dean got up and moved towards the curtain he had put up. Before wrapping it around to hide Sam and give him privacy. He didn't want this stranger looking in on his little brother. Dean walked towards his father and Richard.

"Dean." He introduced, holding out his hand.

"Dean Winchester, nice to finally meet one of John's boys. Let's just hope we manage to save the other one." Richard winked before moving off and walking around the house, basically making himself at home.

"I don't like him." Dean growled.

"I know. He's a bit… different. But you'll either get used to him or just put up with him. He's good at what he does." John sighed.

"And what is that exactly?" Dean asked.

"Research." John responded before following Richard into the office.

"Careful Sammy. You might turn into him." Dean shuddered at the thought before grabbing Sam's laptop and hiding himself in the curtains with his brother. Just so he could research and keep an eye on his little brother.

Bobby came back soon after, bringing food with him. Dean opened the curtain, grabbed his food and closed it again. "Come on Sammy, this burger is extra greasy this time. You gonna complain?" Dean wished to be able to hear his brothers voice again, but he just lay there. Motionless.

Bobby walked into the office, finding John inside, but not John's hunting friend. "Didn't you say Richard was here?" Bobby asked, confused.

"He is, he went to the bathroom." John responded, looking through the books, panicked but not enough to stop him from hunting down the loophole that would allow them to cut the bloodline. "He went half an hour ago actually." John whispered, confused.

"I'll go make sure the idjit didn't get himself lost." Bobby offered, placing down the paper bags of food and walking out, he walked towards the location of the bathroom. Finding no sign of Richard, he went looking around the rest of the house, before coming into the living room. Bobby walked towards the curtain and pulled it back slightly. "Haven't seen Richard around have ya?" Bobby asked casually.

"No. Is he missing?" Dean asked.

"Can't seem to find him." Bobby murmured.

"I knew I couldn't trust him, one look and I knew that I didn't want him around Sammy. He's probably one of those hunters that're glad the Psychics are dead." Dean growled before standing up. He brushed a final hand through Sam's hair and whispered something in his ear before following Bobby.

"We should go get ya Dad. He'll help us look." Bobby stated.

"You sure he would? He seems to be engaged in finding the loophole." Dean asked.

"If Richard is who you think he is, then John bought this mess onto us. He's gonna help get rid of it." Bobby grumbled unhappily. Spending hours constantly up and researching was starting to tire him out. He was getting to old to continuously be worrying about his boys.

"John?" Bobby began, opening the door to the office. John looked up, frowning at the sight of Dean.

"Thought you were with Sam?" John asked, confused.

"I was. Until Bobby told me that your hunter friend Richard went walk-a-bouts. I told you not to trust him around Sam." Dean snapped.

"What? Okay, I get that he's different to us Winchesters, but he's not just gonna up and take Sammy." John spoke too soon, because the next thing they all heard was the sound of tires screeching along the dirt. Dean ran to the window, followed by John and Bobby. John's truck was being driven away from the Salvage Yard at incredible speed.

"What in the hell?" John snapped, feeling in his pockets. His keys were gone. "That bastard stole my keys." John snapped. Dean's eyes widened before he rushed into the living room. The sneaky bastard managed to open the curtains and take Sammy from under them.

"Sam!" Dean barked out, knowing it wouldn't do anything but secretly hoping that Sam was just inside somewhere. Yet, at the same time he grabbed the keys to the Impala and rushed outside. Stopping immediately once he saw the Impala. "Son of a bitch!" Dean roared, the tires had been slashed. "You trust him so much huh?!" Dean growled, shoving past his father before going to Bobby's phone. "What's the assholes number? I'm going to torture him for the Impala and tear his lungs out for stealing Sammy." Dean snapped.

Once the phone started ringing Dean managed to get some words out. "How the hell did he find the time to do all this and take Sammy?" Dean grumbled out.

"It was probably planned from the beginning." John whispered guiltily.

"You don't get to bloody talk. This is your fault. Don't you understand that he's sick! He can't defend himself if Richard decides to attack! Damn it! He won't pick up." Dean was going out of his mind with worry, before calling again. "Bobby, get your tracking shit put together. Soon as he answers you start tracking the mother-…" Dean was cut off.

"I understand. No need to use unnecessary language." Bobby sighed before logging onto his computer.

"Good afternoon…" Richard's voice greeted casually.

"Listen to me-…" Dean's growling threats were cut off immediately by a horrified shout.

"DEAN!" It was Sam, the pain in the ass had decided to wake up at the complete wrong time.

"Put my brother on the phone." Dean forgot all meaning to his threats, forgot that this man had kidnapped his little brother. He just wanted to hear Sammy speaking to him.

"What's going on Dean?" Sam snapped through the phone. "He's been saying things, Dean what did you do?" he sounded angry, but mostly he sounded terrified.

"I didn't do anything. Sammy listen to me, whatever Richard says-…" Dean was cut off.

"Howdy Dean. Your brother doesn't seem to remember much. Quite confused actually." Richard chuckled.

"What have you told him?" Dean snapped.

"I've told him the truth. He deserves to die for what happened Dean, so many people have died because of your brother, those Psychics were Azazel's creation, and there's just one more left to get rid of, without this last one then the generation can't continue." Richard informed. "And Sammy over here agrees with my theory." Richard commented.

"You do anything to my brother, and I swear I'll-…" Once again, Dean was cut off.

"You'll do what? Dean you won't even be able to find me. You may be able to track me now, but where I'm going, you'll never find your precious Sammy. Just leave this alone Dean, as soon as you saw Azazel dead you knew this was going to happen. You knew Sam wasn't going to survive. I'm just making it easier." Richard chuckled before hanging up the phone.

"Damn it! Bobby did you trace it?" Dean questioned, slamming the phone down and turning around to face Bobby.

"Yes. Sending co-ordinates to your phone now." Bobby stated before logging off the computer.

"I'm gonna go get Sam and kill this asshole. Bobby, I need to borrow your van out back. Someone needs to stay here and continue researching." Dean ordered, Bobby threw Dean the keys to the van that he kept out back, he knew how much Dean hated the van, but even Winchester's knew when it was time to bite the bullet and use whatever resources you have.

"I'll stay and continue looking, take the satellite phone, wherever he's going it won't have  
cell service, use that." Bobby ordered, throwing the phone towards Dean as well.

"I'll go with ya." John stated, walking in with a duffle bag. He knew that right now, Dean had all authority over what happened with Sam. Especially being that he knew this was all his fault.

"Okay, call me if you get anything Bobby." Dean ordered before rushing off. They both got into Bobby's van and high-tailed towards the direction of the co-ordinates. They led to the entrance of a forest.

"If anything happens to Sam before we get to him… He was supposed to be getting better. He's gotta get better. Then you had to bring some different hunter that we didn't even know. Now he's gone." Dean ranted, he needed to get it out.

"I know Dean, and I'm sorry. I thought that with more hands we would be able to help him. I didn't know Richard was against the Psychic's." John sighed.

"All hunters are against the Psychic's Dad! We would be too if Sam wasn't one." Dean snapped.

"Don't take that tone with me Dean Winchester." John growled, Dean huffed in response. Of course, his Dad would be like this. Try and hide the errors he did wrong by snapping at everyone else around him.

"Sammy's gotta be okay." Dean whispered.

* * *

Sam felt terrible, everything hurt and if his memory kept fading like this he didn't know what he would remember. His memories were precious, and now he was just forgetting. He wanted to remember, even the simplest things he was forgetting. At times, he forgot who Dean was, just remembered hearing the name all the time. He can't remember who his mother is, the name Jess has no meaning anymore. It's all just falling apart.

"Why can't I remember anything? I don't even know who you are." Sam snapped, turning to the man driving the truck. He recognized the truck, knew he had seen it somewhere, the truck meant something to him. But he just couldn't remember. "I need to remember." Sam groaned, placing his hands on his head after it started pounding uncontrollably.

"It's okay Samuel, it'll all be over soon. I'm going to take care of it." The stranger sighed in a mocking tone that sent shivers down Sam's spine. He knew exactly what the stranger meant. And didn't want to take any part of it.

"I wanna get out. I don't wanna be here anymore." Sam told, reaching for the door. But the stranger had locked the door. "Who are you? Why won't you let me go?" Sam asked, turning to face him.

"We've been over this a thousand times. I get that you can't remember anything but try to keep up would you. My name is Richard and I'm going to take you somewhere secluded." Richard grumbled before stopping the car.

"Why do we need to be secluded?" Sam asked, not wanting to know the answer.

"Because I'm going to bloody kill you now would you please shut up. It's alright Sam, you want to die." Richard informed. Sam's eyes widened in fear. No, he didn't recall wanting to die. But what if he did want to die, he just didn't remember.

"I need to remember. I have to remember what happened." Sam snapped, grabbing the back of Richard's head and slamming it against the steering wheel. Instantly knocking him out. "But I can't have you trying to kill me." He growled before getting out of the car. Sam looked around, trying to gather his surroundings before being hit with a wave of indescribable pain in his abdomen. Kneeling over he began coughing up more blood then he would've liked to see.

"What's happening to me?" Sam murmured to himself before looking up, he saw a forest. It was something about the forest. Calling to him, but he didn't want to. Because he knew that if he walked inside the forest he wasn't coming out, he was going to die today. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. Limping his way over, Sam began his walk into the forest. Remembering how ready he was to die.

After a while of walking Sam had collapsed, looking up at the sky and seeing the grey clouds, it was going to rain. But he couldn't care less. A name kept nagging him, and he so badly wanted to remember what the name meant to him.

"Dean." Sam whispered casually, the name rolling off his tongue so easily, he knew he could trust the owner of the name, he knew he loved the owner of the name. But he just couldn't remember the owner of the name. "Who are you Dean?" Sam whispered, closing his eyes gently and soon falling asleep.

"Sammy!" he heard a voice shout from a distance, opening his eyes wearily, everything was blurry. He could barely breathe. Sammy? What a funny name? It started to come back to him in pieces. He was Sammy. But who was the owner of the voice? Then the name came back to him… Dean. Was this the Dean that Sam couldn't remember.

He tried to get up, tried to move. But couldn't. He was leant up against a tree, paralysed. He could barely hear through the ringing in his ears, could barely see past the blurriness. He felt a cough erupt through his chest. Spilling a wet substance on his chin, but he couldn't move his hands to clean it off. Could barely speak to call out for the voice that seemed to know his name.

"Sammy! Where are you!?" Sam so badly wanted to call out… _'I'm right here!'_ But he couldn't move his jaw. Or maybe he was moving, but felt so numb that he just couldn't feel it. Maybe he was screaming, but the ringing in his ears wouldn't allow him to hear it. He kept hearing it. The voice calling out his name. But another soon added, a deeper voice, calling for him. He had no clue who the voice belonged too. But remembered another name once he heard it. John.

Soon he was greeted by two figures in the distance, he could tell that they hadn't seen him yet. But he caught sight of them straight away.

"Sammy!" the younger man called before the older one hit him in the shoulder. They both looked towards Sam, who was happy that the two strangers had seen him. He would get out of here, at least he hoped he would. Maybe he would be sent to a hospital, they would ring his family. Then he remembered that he couldn't remember who his family even was, or if they were still alive. Just the names Dean and John.

"Sam!" the younger one barked out, rushing to Sam's side and placing a hand on Sam's forehead. "Dad he's burning up, there's blood everywhere." Why was there blood everywhere? How had that gotten there? Why was Sam burning up? Was he sick or something? So many questions that he couldn't even ask mattered his mind. He tried to come up with the answers on his own but nothing came up. He just couldn't remember, then he spoke. One word, or if you could even call it that.

"R'm'ber." Sam croaked, coughing more than he had before, more of the wet substance was on his chin, he could tell. Was it blood? Is that where the blood had come from? Him coughing it up constantly? But why hadn't the blood wanted to stay inside his body? Why was it escaping him like his memory? He needed to remember. But he just couldn't.

"He doesn't remember." The older man whispered in shock. The younger man's eyes widened in terror.

"Sammy look at me." He ordered, Sam tried to move, but couldn't. So, the man got in his vision. "Do you remember me? Come on Sam give me something… come back to me little brother." He ordered. Sam remembered, but not much. He remembered Dean, and John. He remembered Bobby and the past few days. He remembered everything post Azazel's murder. But everything else was gone to him.

"De'n…" Sam stumbled over his words, his breathing shaky. "Die." Was all he managed to get out before coughing again.

"No, you're not going to die, Bobby is finding a loophole for this right now." John stated, stepping back a little bit. Sam couldn't say anything, he didn't have the strength too. He noticed Dean sit down, moving both himself and Sam so Dean was sitting behind Sam and Sam was leaning up against him. He knew the gesture was to comfort them both, but Sam kinda just wanted to die alone.

"Be… 'lone." Sam whispered.

"No Sammy. You're not gonna be alone. I'm not going to leave you alone. Bobby is gonna fix this. I know he is. You're not going to die." But Dean sounded like he was trying to reassure himself more than he was trying to reassure Sam. It worked, to some degree. But every Winchester knew a dead man when they saw one.

"How am I supposed to fix this? How am I supposed to keep you alive Sam? What am I supposed to do?" Dean growled, trying not to cry.

"Live…" Sam sighed out, a word that he could speak without screwing up. Mostly because it was an easy word, but that wasn't the point.

"Nope. No can do little brother, can't do this without ya. You know that." Dean informed.

"Dean…" John whispered shocked, yet sadly. He knew that this is exactly what would happen if Sam was to die, Dean would follow. And vise-versa. Basically meaning none of his sons could die, which John was cool with.

"No, we all know that as soon as Sam dies I'm gonna go with him. We've all guessed it already, we all know it's gonna happen. So how about Sam just doesn't die, and then Dad won't have to burn two bodies." Dean told.

"And what makes you think that I'm going anywhere without knowing you two are safe and alive." John snapped.

"You were always stronger than us Dad." Dean sighed.

"That's where you're wrong kiddo. You and Sammy, you both were always stronger than me. I let this take over my life, but the two of you, you didn't. You hung onto each other and you didn't let you, you found the courage to do what you believed in and not give a damn what anyone else thought." John stated with a sad smile towards Sam. There was a sudden shrilling ring from John's pocket, and it made Sam's ears feel like they were bleeding. He groaned in pain and tried to move. But he couldn't. He was still paralyzed.

"St'p…" Sam ordered, trying to move.

"It's okay little brother. Calm down, Dad make it stop." Dean ordered, glancing at the satellite phone from John's pocket. John answered the phone immediately once realizing it was Bobby.

"How's Sam?" Bobby asked. John stood up and walked away, not wanting his sons to hear what he had to say.

"I don't think he has long left Bobby." John whispered his response. Tears in his eyes, Bobby immediately knew how dire the situation was.

"Get him to hang in there, I've found a way to cut the bloodline. I had to get help from an old friend of mine. She's a sheriff. But she knows what we do. We found a way to cut it. I've just gotta get a few herbs that I have around the house and do the spell. I've already gotten started, should be done soon. Keep Sam alive and I'll call when it's done." Bobby ordered before hanging up, immediately getting to work with Sheriff Jody Mills on severing the bloodline.

"Bobby's working on the bloodline now. He found a loophole." John exclaimed, a wide smile present on his face.

"You hear that Sammy." Dean cheered. "Bobby's gonna make you all better, you've just gotta hang in there okay?" he added. But as they both looked down at Sam. Sam was unconscious, and a deadly pale.

"Sammy." John tried, kneeling and placing a hand on Sam's knee.

"No. No, no, no, no." Dean repeated over and over, shaking Sam slightly to try and get something out of him. But he was just dead weight. "We've gotta get him to Bobby's. He'll be able to figure it out. We can't have been too late, Bobby just found the cure." Dean snapped. John threw Dean the keys to the truck that he had taken from Richard's unconscious body earlier before.

"You take the truck, it's a heck of a lot faster than the van. I'll bring the van back with Richard." John ordered before helping Dean lift Sam and take him to the truck. Placing Sam in the passenger seat before Dean got into the driver's seat.

"You be careful. And keep him alive." John ordered, Dean nodded in return, taking the satellite phone from John before speeding off with the truck. Not caring about breaking any of the speed limits, he just needed his little brother to stay alive.

Mid-way through the drive Dean got a phone call from his own phone. Picking up he saw it was Bobby calling. "What?" he grumbled.

"Don't talk to me like that boy." Bobby snapped, clearly tired and excited for it to be over and for Sam to be okay.

"Sorry, it's just… Sammy's not looking too good." Dean whispered, not stopping the tears from falling this time.

"Well don't worry about that now kid. The bloodline should be finished with." Bobby stated. A wide smile grew on Dean's face.

"So, Sammy should be fine." Dean yipped happily, looking towards Sam who was already starting to show signs of waking up. "This is finally over." Dean huffed happily.

"I'll call your Dad. You get both your ass's here now." Bobby ordered.

"Yes sir." Dean happily obliged before hanging up the phone.

* * *

 **Day 3**

"How ya feeling kiddo?" Dean asked, coming up from the basement, whipping his hands on his shirt. Sam noticed the drop of blood, but didn't say anything.

"I'm feeling better, still a little ill. But so much better than I was before, you haven't actually told me what's down in the basement yet?" Sam questioned. Clearly not remembering that Dean would rip the lungs out of anyone who double crossed Sam.

"Because that's for me to know and for you to remain a mystery." Dean winked with a smile, happy his brother was alive before plonking himself on the couch next to Sam's bed that was still in the living room.

"Why can't you just tell me? You're in there for hours and you always come back with blood on you." Sam huffed out.

"You're my brother… any I love you. But some things I just have to keep to myself." Dean smirked, repeating the same line he remembered Sam using when they were on the Bloody Mary case.

John stood in the doorway, a grin on his face. Happy to see his sons bickering once more. But the grin disappeared, when he remembered the backstabbing hunter in the basement.


	7. 7 - Of Lycanthrope & Hunters

**Chapter 7 – Of Lycanthrope & Hunters**

 **.Pre-Series.**

Sam = Age 17

Dean = 21

 **Sequel to 'Chapter 4 – Of Lycanthrope & Winchester's**

 _After Sam was turned into a Lykan a year ago, the Winchester's having been working through his changes and pretty much knows everything there is about his Lycanthrope. But when a pack of Werewolves start messing with this family. Sam's inner animal comes out to play._

* * *

 _I ran through the building, rushing towards my brother. I used the speed I had obtained a year ago. I had to get to Dean before the timer ran out._

 **Sam**

I don't train with him like I used to, I don't spar with him, because I know the dangers that will come out of it.

So, instead I train with my senses. Train with my abilities. I can't train the human way anymore. I gotta train my way. I heard the time counting down, I was running out of time. And once the timer finished it meant that Dean had been killed.

"Looks like I'm gonna win Sammy, you owe me dinner kiddo." I heard Dean chuckle, although he didn't know that I was just outside the room. I barged through the door and tackled him onto the bed.

"How about… I win, and you owe me dinner." I laughed, getting off him and switching the timer off.

"I was lookin' forward to steak as well." Dean groaned, but brushed his hand through my hair, I used to hate it before. But ever since I accepted my Lykan side and Dean accepted the fact that he was an Alpha I've started to like it. It showed that he was happy and  
proud of me.

"To be honest, a steak is sounding pretty good right now." I shrugged, I had also grown severely attached to all sorts of different meat. It's like I'm obsessed with it now. But I'd rather meat then human hearts.

"Well good, cause it's what we're eating." Dean chuckled in response. "That was a good training session, but you know you need to get faster and doing this, I'd be dead right now if you were a minute late." Dean added, packing some things up and moving other things.

"I know, I'll try harder next time." I murmured.

"You know damn well that isn't what I meant Sammy. I just meant that you had to use extra abilities within this point. If this were a real hunt and I had been captured-…" I cut him off.

"I would destroy everyone that got in my way until I found you alive and intact. If you weren't alive and intact then I would tear Hell apart until I got you back." I shrugged like it was nothing, he turned and looked at me weirdly before smirking.

"What if I'm in Heaven?" Dean asked, folding his arms.

"Then I'm leaving you there. Would rather you be in Heaven then here Hunting until you're sent to Hell." I commented.

"Alright then, shut up and get ready for sparring." He ordered, moving more furniture. "You know, it would be a lot easier if we had your super Lykan strength helping move the furniture around." He stated.

"We're not sparring Dean, last time we sparred I broke your arm and you were on rest for two months, no way am I doing that again." I informed.

"How else are you going to train in combat little brother?" Dean asked.

"Dad would flip if he saw me sparring you, and I'm already on thin ice." I replied.

"So, you won't be on thin ice for much longer. And he won't be back until later anyway." Dean told.

"He's been pissed at me since we found out I wasn't turning Human again, and that there was no cure for Lycanthrope." I stated.

"Come on, I haven't wrestled you for months now. Spar me little brother, or you're just going to go down." Dean ordered, charging for me, he managed to tackle me onto the ground. "You're not even trying." He chuckled, going to punch me, I swung my hand out and caught his fist before he could land the punch.

"You wanna spar? Let's spar." I smirked, swinging around and pinning him to the ground.

"No fair." He grumbled.

"You never said anything about not being able to tap into my Lykan side." I laughed happily, allowing him to kick me off before we both stood straight. I got my fists out and threw a punch, he blocked my attack and I blocked his. We just continued sparring, throwing and blocking hits, making sure to not actually hit each other, especially me, making sure not to hit him.

I grabbed Dean by the collar and carefully but still training, shoved him up against the wall. Bringing his hand behind his back to hold him there. This is where I had to be careful, I couldn't pull too roughly, that's how I broke his arm last time.

Then Dad walked in, and I immediately let go of Dean, knowing that I was going to get in trouble now. "What the hell is going on in here?" Dad asked, shutting the motel door and placing the bag of food on the table, turning to face us.

"Don't blame Sam, it was my idea to spar in the first place." Dean defended me.

"Sparring. Really? You both know that you can't spar, and you should know better after what happened last time." Dad snapped, facing me angrily.

"I know-…" I began.

"You know? Yet you were pinning Dean up against the wall, probably about to break his arm again." Dad snapped.

"I was being careful this time." I snapped in defence.

* * *

 **3** **rd** **Person.**

"It wasn't his fault Dad." Dean commented.

"Be quiet Dean, you know better than to spar with what you are. You're a Lykan Sam and we know how powerful they are." Dad told. "One day you both will be sparring again, and you'll end up killing your brother!" John snapped angrily, he shoved past Sam and went to unpack the food. "Come and eat you too." He ordered, sitting down at the table, soon followed by Dean. "Sam." John warned, looking up to find his son still standing there, in the same position he left him in.

"I'm going out." Sam sighed, grabbing his phone and wallet but not worrying about his jacket. He had been internally warm since he turned into a Lykan.

"Sam." John growled, Dean placed his head down, not wanting any part of the argument. Sam kept stubborn and ignored his father, he needed to think. He needed some fresh air, most of all he needed to shift into Lykan and run.

"Samuel Winchester, you stop right there!" John barked out the order, he turned to Dean, knowing that an order from Dean was one that Sam wouldn't dare to refuse, John wished that he had been Sam's Alpha, he could use the orders against Sam and know that he wouldn't dare to disobey.

"Sammy… stop." Dean ordered, Sam stopped, his posture ridged and tense. Dean knew it was a bad idea, Sam wouldn't go outside now that Dean ordered him not too. And for that he felt horrible. He knew Sam needed the air, and he didn't want to order Sam to stop, but his Dad ordered him too. Dean followed by his Dad's orders and Sam followed by his. It was a never-ending cycle and John knew how to manipulate both boys now.

"Come and sit down, it's dinner time and I expect you to eat. You're waking up early for training before school." John snapped, already in a foul mood.

"Dad, I've got a test I need to study for!" Sam defended, knowing that if he didn't pass this test, he wasn't getting a good final grade, and it would look bad on his report card.

"For what? You think any proper schools, or even a college is going to take you? They won't take a Lykan Sammy, and as soon as hunters find out that another Lykan exists, they'll hunt you down. You're lucky we're not those type of hunters." John exclaimed, sitting back down. Dean was wide eyed at the comment his father made, and Sam was equally as shocked.

"So, then why don't you hunt me? Why don't you kill me because it's obviously clear that you want to!?" Sam barked out, eyes flashing colour a little, but still flicking back to their natural colouring.

"Sam!" Dean pleaded, his expression filled with shock. Did his little brother really expect him to be able to kill him? He didn't even want to, it never even crossed his mind, not when Sammy was human, especially not when he was turned into a Lykan, it wasn't his fault that the hunt went bad, those things just happen. But this time was different, because Sam was now a Lykan and Dean was his Alpha, which both had advantages and disadvantages.

John shot up in his seat and stalked towards Sam. Dean was scared, although he'd never admit it. Hell, he even saw the fear in Sam's eyes, Sam thought he was going to die. And within all honesty, so did Dean.

"Dad!" Dean barked out, terrified of his father's sudden rage and need to be closer to Sam, Dean was scared that this argument would be the final one and he'd lose his brother, all because he wanted to spar. "Dad, stop!" Dean cried, begging his father to stop walking.

"You ever say something like this again Sam, and I swear, Lykan or not, I'll teach you a lesson about us Winchester's that you'll never forget." John growled right up against Sam's face, who in return grew angered at the threats from his father. His eyes flashed to their glowing electrifying blue, showing the anger and defensive stance, he was in.

"Is that a threat?" Sam growled out angrily, if it was a threat then whether Sam wanted to or not, he would react violently.

"Enough!" Dean barked out, hating the entire conversation. "How about you both just stop arguing? Dad, Sam's a Lykan and I think we've learnt that if you piss him off we aren't going to get a well-mannered result. Sam, he's not threatening you, he's just saying that you could focus more on hunting and a little less on school work being that you're not going anywhere in life to begin with." Dean added, hating the words he said to Sam after he saw the hurt in his little brother's eyes.

Sam's eyes began flashing their Lykan-like colour, sadness and anger filling his form before he turned around and lashed out, hitting a lamp and hearing as it smashed against the wall. He growled angrily before storming off, slamming his hand against the concrete wall and creating a cracked dent. Dean flinched at the sound. John had started getting motel rooms with concrete walls for this exact reason, to make sure that Sam didn't create any holes in the walls from his anger. He also bought silver chains to keep Sam held when he turned. Dean was completely against the idea but knew not to say anything because it was his father's orders.

"Let him go, he'll cool off." John ordered, grabbing Sam's food and placing it in the microwave.

"Dad, you know he's not going to cool off without me. I'm his Alpha." Dean stated with a sigh, he stood up to go and see to Sam. But John stopped him.

"He's going to have to learn that you're not gonna be his Alpha anymore. He can't carry on with this whole Lykan thing. He needs to at least pretend that he's normal and if not, then someone is going to find him and see to it that we won't see him again." John snapped, pointing to Dean's chair, a silent order for his son to sit the fuck down now. Dean sat down, but looked in the direction Sam was in.

* * *

"So, what're we hunting?" Dean asked when they had finished dinner and set up their research for the hunt.

"Werewolves by the looks of it. We've gotta be careful. By the looks of it, they've reversed the cycle, always in their wolf form and only turn human on a full moon, they've found a way to communicate so we can understand what they're saying." John informed, reading up on the research he had found whilst he was out.

"Seems like Werewolves are just getting better at what they do. More fun to end them." Dean chuckled with a shrug.

"Bring Sam in here, I'm gonna fill him in on the plan for tonight." John ordered, looking down at the map and marking off different areas, Dean immediately rushed at the permission to go and calm his brother down.

Dean knocked on Sam's room door, John had begun making them have separate bedrooms, he had always gotten two rooms. But now he shares with Dean and Sam has his own room. To both of their dismay of course, but ever since Sam became a Lykan he's been more distant then he ever has been before, more… 'Emo' as dean would call it.

"Sam, open the door." Dean ordered, knowing full well that Sam wouldn't open the door unless it was an order. But he never opened the door, showing Dean that Sam wasn't in the room. Dean barged into the room anyway. "Sammy." He questioned, seeing the bedroom in complete anarchy, how had they not heard the clashing and banging's. Although the thing with the concrete walls was that you couldn't hear anything past them. He also noticed the completely smashed and open window.

"Dad! Sam's gone!" Dean shouted, storming back into the kitchen where his Dad was. "I told you to let me calm him down, you know that if something happens whilst he's out there… damnit, I thought you knew better!" Dean snapped, grabbing his jacket, wallet, keys and phone before rushing out.

"Dean! Let him go, he's probably just throwing a tantrum somewhere." John ordered.

"Sam's tantrums consist of someone being decapitated Dad." Dean growled, John grabbed some weapons and the silver chains just in case. Dean gave him a look but knew they had no time to argue whilst Sam was out there, more than likely in Lykan form.

They exited the room and ran towards the Impala. "Better off if we stick together." John stated, throwing the chains into the trunk of the car before catching the keys Dean threw at him and getting into the car.

"You're not chaining him up Dad, he's not some animal that needs caging. He's Sammy, and he's not going to calm down if he's being treated as something we hunt." Dean snapped.

"News flash Dean, he is something we hunt, and now, chaining him up could be the very thing that keeps him from killing someone." John stated, turning onto a different road. "Where do we start?" he wondered more to himself, Dean seemed to know the exact answer.

"Parks, maybe a forest or woods. He's a dog, he'd take his anger out on a run, probably kill an animal or something, that's if a Hunter or civilian doesn't come by him first." Dean ordered. "Closest area is a park with a connecting forest, he'd more than likely be there running amuck. Hopefully." Dean murmured. "Turn left." He spoke, pointing left whilst looking at the map he had from the glove compartment.

They arrived at a park area, getting out of their cars and looking around for a black Lykan formed Sam. But finding nothing but empty silence in return. "Damn it. I thought he'd be here." John growled, pissed that they now had to look for him.

"What did you expect? He's probably somewhere else, there are plenty of area's around that he could've gone." Dean tried to reassure. They both turned around and saw four werewolves behind them, a variation of different fur colours. Dean took a step back, placing his hand behind him and grabbing hold of the gun, yet not bringing it out to show, deciding against angering the already vicious looking wolves.

"What the hell?" John murmured, placing his own hand on his gun, as to follow Dean's action.

"What do you think they want Dad?" Dean wondered curiously, concerned as to know whether he should be shooting or running.

"We just want to stop being hunted all the time, friends of a Lykan should understand that." Wait… how did these werewolves know of Dean's little brother, it wasn't a secret in the supernatural community anymore that the famous Sam Winchester had been turned into one of them, but they would have no clue who he is, or even what he looks like. Which confused Dean even more, yet he didn't like what they were insinuating.

"Dean, be very careful. They know who we are." John murmured, Dean took a quick glance in his father's direction before looking towards the wolves again.

"Yes Dean, listen to your father. We learnt quite a lot whilst hearing Sam's screams, it really isn't his fault that we know, after all… the pain he was in was enough to kill even the famous John Winchester." The middle wolf chuckled, earning a smirk or a small laugh from the other wolves around them.

"What have you done to my brother!? He's a Lykan, either way you won't be able to hold him for long!" Dean snapped aggressively.

"Exactly, but we'll hold him long enough to bring you in and kill you right in front of him." The main wolf informed, before both Dean and John where jumped from behind. 

* * *

**Sam**

I lay there, my arms connected to the chains above me, I just sat there in shame. I couldn't believe that I had ratted out my own family, it wasn't like I had meant to. But it just hurt so much and I just wanted it to stop. I knew that sooner or later both my Dad and Dean would be here, arms tied behind their backs. And I knew that I couldn't change that anymore, but I could fix it. If I just broke out of these damn chains and made sure that these Mutts didn't hurt my family then I could fix things. I could fix everything.

I tried breaking free from the chains, it didn't help that they were made of silver and laced with holy water. But I knew that if I didn't break free and protect my family, then after this hunt I might not even have a family to protect. I pulled as hard as I could to try and break the chains, but failing the more I tried.

After a while of trying to break free the door to whatever cell I was in opened and Morrice walked in, the temporary leader of this pack. "Hello Lykan." He spat the word Lykan like it was some sort of threat, or an object that needed to be destroyed, although that's probably what I am to these people, some object in need of a good lesson.

"Morrice." I grumbled, he pulled out a small clock out of his pocked, one minute was flashing in neon green letters.

"This, Sammy. Is a clock." He made it sound like I was so stupid, I rolled my eyes at the actions of this moron. "And here, it states one minute." Did he think he was talking to some kindergartener? I bloody hope not. "When this minute is over, your brother is going to be the first to die, and then you get another minute to save your father." Morrice told, turning the clock on and walking towards the door, my eyes widened in fear. "Tick tock goes the death clock." He laughed at his own joke before leaving. I looked at the clock. Fifty-five seconds. Shit.

I tried pulling on the chains, harder than I've ever had to pull before, they were breaking, but not enough to fully break free. Forty-five seconds. I tugged more and more on the chains holding me captive, I couldn't let them kill Dead. I wouldn't let my brother die because I was too weak to hold in more pain and wait for them to find me, because no doubt they were trying to find me before they were captured by these psychotic wolves.

I pulled as hard as I could, and ended up yelling in rage as I tugged on the chains. One of them broke, so I used my now free hand to break the other one, looking at the timer it read, twenty seconds. "Shit." I growled to myself, grabbing the timer and bolting out the door, shifting into my Lykan in a quick rush as I did so. I roared through the halls, my menacing growls echoing throughout the house as I ran towards the scent of by brother. Fifteen seconds.

I ran through the building, rushing towards my brother. I used the speed I had obtained a year ago. I had to get to Dean before the timer ran out. I was a Lykan now, and that meant I had to protect my Alpha throughout anything, it meant that not only did I need to keep my Alpha alive, but I needed to make sure my brother stayed alive as well.

I was now on all fours, charging through the building and following his scent as I did so. Five seconds, and then it was all over. Four. Three. Two… just as the clock stroke one, I barged through the room they were holding Dean and my father in before knocking Morrice to the ground away from my brother, he was so close to plunging the knife through Dean's heart, and now I was closer to ripping his head off. Morrice and I rolled around in our wolf like forms, biting and clawing through each other as we fought.

"Stop. Fighting. Me!" Morrice barked out, before I felt another wolf attack my side. Two against one wasn't fair, but I knew I could handle them.

"Sam! Watch out!" Dean shouted before I felt my leg get bit by another werewolf, I took the time to look around and notice that the entire pack were in this room, getting ready to fight and attempt to kill me on command of their Alpha. "Fight them Sammy!" It wasn't an order from Dean, that one, it wasn't an order but a plea. A beg from Dean, he wanted me to fight, he wanted me to stay alive. Either way I was going to do it, not because Dean was my Alpha or anything, but because Dean was my brother. He was my family.

I opened my jaw and bit especially hard on one of the wolf's necks, snapping it before ripping him off me. But as soon as one was gone, two more came on. Morrice dislodged himself from my hold and stepped back, I moved around, trying to get the other wolves off me, but they moved too quickly, and they were moving together.

"Attack!" Morrice ordered the rest of the back. Before the entire werewolf back dived in on top of me, and I was covered to the world, bits and nips across my Lykan form. They were breaking my bones and laughing at my pain once they snapped back in place before breaking them all over again. It was a wave of pain and panic. Because what if this never ended, Morrice was probably getting close to my family, getting ready to end them. And that thought made me mad.

I knew my eyes were changing now, and for some reason I felt my Lykan form mutate more than it already was. I was getting bigger, and I was getting ready to kill. A gigantic roar fell from my throat and I attacked upwards. Dislodging all the wolves off me as my bones came back to place, then the pain came back. I realised that I was covered in not only my blood, but the blood of the ones I had attacked. And suddenly I became bloodthirsty. I needed more of it, I suddenly had the need to kill, and Morrice was in my line of sight. His eyes were wide with fear, and so they should be.

"No. One. Hurts. Alpha." I growled menacingly with a tone of voice that I didn't even recognise myself. I took a massive leap towards Morrice, firing back my paw before launching it forward and into Morrice's chest, ripping out his heart. I moved to the other wolves. Before blacking out in blind rage and bloodlust.

I don't remember Dad calling my name, I don't remember Dean's begs for me to stop. I do remember, however, coming back to and looking around, all the wolves had been mutilated, I was now in my human form. Completely saturated in blood that I knew wasn't mine. But I had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that made me want to kill, and I knew that the feeling was nowhere near good. Something in my mind had snapped, and I needed Dean and Dad to understand how much of a danger I am now. So, I spoke my mind, and knowing me, that was never a good thing.

"I'm more of a monster than I ever had been before. I want to kill the next person that hurts you, or pisses me off. I want to mutilate the next person that even looks at me the wrong way, barges into me accidentally in the street, or even breathes in my goddamn direction." I growled at them, my tone still deep and threatening. Dean's eyes were wide at my confession. "That's exactly what my Maker had told us right? As soon as I kill, as soon as I take a life, as soon as I feel their blood drip down my hands. I become bloodthirsty for it, I have the need to kill and that's what drives Lykan's insane." I growled.

"We'll figure it out." Dean whispered in panic, pleading for me to understand.

"You always say that Dean, you always say that we will figure it out! That it will all get better!" I barked out in anger.

"It always works doesn't it!" Dean informed, looking towards me with sympathy.

"Sam, untie us. Please kiddo." Dad tried to reason, Dean looked at him, silently ordering Dad to shut up whilst he tried calmed me down, before they became my next victims. Which is something that scared me even more.

"I can't, I can't get close to you whilst I have the nagging feeling of kill plunged into my brain." I took a step back in fear.

"Sammy, look at me." Dean ordered, it was an Alpha order, and I obeyed. "Looking at me now, do you want to kill me, is there even the smallest bone in your body that wants me dead. Because if you wanted us dead then you would've let that Alpha kill us, but you risked everything to save us." Dean informed.

"After I threw you into the wolves in the first place! Literally!" I barked out, accusing myself when he was trying to make it better.

"You had no choice, Sam. Just keep your eyes on me. And untie us." Dean whispered, so I did. It wasn't an Alpha's order, it was a request. I slowly walked towards Dean first, keeping my eyes on his, panic filling my form before I untied him and shot back towards the wall furthest from them, using my Lykan's speed. Dean untied Dad and Dad went to sort the bodies out, knowing that Dean would want to calm me down more.

"See little brother, it's just us. Alpha and Lykan back at it again. We can keep you under control and you know that if anyone can do it, it'll be your Alpha. We'll just have to let you kill more creatures on our hunts." Dean shrugged, smiling lightly as I rushed and hugged him, needing not only my Alpha's comfort.

Or my brothers comfort.

But my hero's comfort too.


	8. 8 - House of Rising Sun

**Chapter 8 - House of Rising Sun**

 **.Set in Season 5.**

 _After releasing the devil, Dean becomes angry at Sam. Not realising his words until they're spoken, the Winchester boys get into an argument. One where it means Sam heads to New Orleans on a case by himself. When the case backfires and Sam suddenly goes missing, Dean must put away everything that's happened and find his brother before he's lost in the House of Rising Sun._

 _Got this idea from some of the chorus lyrics to House of Rising Sun by The Animals._

* * *

 _There is a house in New Orleans._

 _They call the Rising Sun._

 _It's been the ruin of many poor man._

 _And God, I know I'm one._

 **Third Person P.O.V**

They had just finished a hunt, nasty werewolf. Dean had gotten injured in the process and didn't trust Sam to stitch it for him, getting the first aid out himself. "Just leave it Sam, I'm more then capable." Dean snapped, grabbing the needle and thread, taking a gulp of whisky as he shrugged his jacket to reach the three claw marks on his bicep.

"Dean… Just let me help, please." Sam begged, Dean hadn't let Sam go near him, barely even spoken a word to him since the devil had risen. He didn't mean to make the devil rise, it wasn't his intention. Sam didn't know what his intention was anymore.

"NO Sam! It's your fault I'm in this mess in the first place!" Dean barked out angrily.

"How is this my fault?" Sam asked, gesturing to Dean's injury.

"If you were paying attention and not sleeping on the job then I wouldn't have been attacked tonight. But like always, I needed you and you weren't there." Dean blamed.

"What? Dean I was fighting off another werewolf, I told you this so many times, but you don't listen to me!" Sam argued back, he hated how Dean treated him, he wanted to walk away. But he couldn't leave Dean, no matter how badly they were arguing, Sam would always pick Dean. And hopefully, if he hadn't screwed up too badly, vise-versa.

"How am I supposed to believe that? Werewolves are nasty sonsabitches Sam, one was bound to get you somewhere. So, where is this injury?" Dean asked. "Or do you expect me to believe that you're just that good?" He growled. "Leave me alone so I can do this." He finished the argument, turning back to his stitching.

"Fine, be a dick. I'm going to go and get food." Sam sighed, knowing the conversation was over. He took the keys to the Impala, his phone and his wallet before walking out the door.

* * *

Sam returned with a bag of takeout, he placed everything on the kitchen table whilst looking at Dean through the corner of his eye. _It was now or never Sam._

"I hate arguing like this." Sam stated, trying to start a normal conversation to resolve things over.

"Should've thought about that before you released the devil." Dean grumbled back, trying to start an argument. Or at least, that's how Sam saw it.

"You think it was my intention to release Lucifer. I was trying to stop it, I had no clue Lilith was the final seal. Ruby made it seem like-…" he was interrupted.

"Ruby is a demon Sam, they aren't to be trusted. Monsters can't be trusted Sam, that's why they're evil and we're good. At least I thought you were good two, but you've just gone and started the Armageddon!" Dean shouted.

"Some monsters can be good too." Sam sighed, not trying to start shouting. Don't fight fire with fire.

"I've not met one good one before. And when I do will be the day that I learn to love you again." Sam stopped breathing, he couldn't remember how to. His heart caved in on itself and he couldn't think past the words spoken.

"I think you should take that New Orleans case you were talking about. I can't trust that you won't kill me, or turn into one of them. Turn into a-…" he stopped himself.

"A what Dean? Turn into a what? If you're gonna say something, finish it." Sam snapped, tears pooling in his eyes and trickling from his cheeks.

"You've already become the things we hunt." Dean spoke, but immediately regretted it with the look in Sam's eyes, he wanted to apologize, wanted to take his brother and hug him. But it wouldn't make a difference, his brother was gone. Left after Cold Oak, which reminded him of more of his failures. "I never should've made that deal in Cold Oak, maybe you wouldn't have destroyed yourself-…" he was interrupted.

"Shut up! Just stop talking! Please stop." Sam sobbed, placing his hands though his hair and glancing around the room. Maybe he should take that New Orleans case. "I'm going to go." Sam murmured, more to himself then Dean, who currently stood wide-eyed at the sudden outburst.

"Take this with you." Dean ordered, taking off his amulet and holding it out. "I don't think we'll be brothers after today. I don't think we were brothers after Cold Oak. You were already bought back a monster." Dean stated. Sam caught the amulet just as Dean went to drop it on the ground, even more hurt then he had ever been.

He stopped feeling, it was just numb now. So, he used it to his advantage. And he left.

* * *

Several hours later Sam was in a motel he couldn't be bothered learning the name of. New Orleans, he looked down at his phone. Nothing since he left. He turned to the closest thing towards him, a lamp and knocked it over.

Anger coursed through Sam like a wildfire, throwing the table towards the other side of the room and smashing the chairs on the ground. Everything was soon destroyed, glass sat everywhere, broken pieces of wood and flickering lights from the broken yet still plugged in lamp. He was breathing heavily, but didn't care. Stepping over everything Sam headed to his duffle bag. He'd be working alone now, and it hurt more than anyone would think. He had a singular case file, finding it after Dean said that he had better have another case up before the Werewolf one ended.

Opening it, Sam read through the case. Anything to keep his mind off his aching mind and heart, Sam clutched the amulet, in which was wrapped around his neck.

People were going into a house, but they weren't coming out. Authorities discovered everyone of the missing people there, they had fallen into coma's, their bodies were fine, they looked like they were just sleeping, except they weren't moving other then their breathing. At first Sam thought of an astral projective energy inside the house, but after finding out that the bodies were slowly dying without their host. Sam figured that something was feeding off the bodies whilst the hosts were somewhere else, probably stuck inside the house.

Grabbing his keys, phone and wallet, Sam went to go ask around.

* * *

Dean wasn't doing any better than Sam, he was lost. Had no idea what he was supposed to do know. He could figure out how to ice the devil, but part of him just didn't want to do it alone, not without Sam. He'd driven Sam away, told him the worst kind of things. Did he mean them, no. But it was too late to change what happened, besides, he couldn't trust Sam. So, he didn't mean everything he said, but some of it was true. Sam chose a demon over him, that's gotta do something to someone's mind. Maybe it just crushed his self-esteem as an older brother, who knew.

He held his phone in his hands, hoping that Sam would call and ask for backup, ask him to come and help with the case, ask him anything that involved being together. He'd jump and cross the country if it meant he weren't alone, but Sam couldn't be trusted. Yeah, he'd keep arguing that fact with himself until he died.

Dean went to grab hold of the amulet, hoping it would bring some comfort or being some sort of feeling of Sam. But as he went to grab it, he felt nothing. Then remembered that he basically threw it away. _"Take this with you." "I don't think we'll be brothers after today. I don't think we were brothers after Cold Oak. You were already bought back a monster."_ So, he went for it. Pressed speed dial and called his brother, he needed to speak with Sam. Needed to tell him that he didn't mean any of it, God the things he had said, and the hurt on Sam's face as each word hit him like a bullet, made Dean himself cry.

" _This is Sam… leave a message."_ "Hey Sammy-…" _God, when was the last time he called Sam by his nickname?_ "I… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry things got this outta hand, I'm sorry I kicked you out, I'm sorry I gave you the amulet. But call me back when you get this okay, or just stop ignoring my calls. I didn't mean any of what I said today, I wanna get back and work together, this time will be different I promise. Just agree to talk to me, I have no right to ask but Sammy. We're still brothers. And I still love you." It wasn't so hard, he choked on a few of his words as tears fell, especially 'I love you'. But it didn't seem that hard, now Dean just had to wait for a response. If he was even going to get one.

After a few hours of waiting by the phone like a thirteen-year-old girl with a crush, Dean received nothing in return.

* * *

 _My mother was a tailor._

 _Sewed my new blue jeans._

 _My father was a gamblin' man._

 _Down in New Orleans._

"I'm sorry, who are you?" The woman asked again, God she had horrible memory loss. Or she was just plain old.

"My name is Sam, I'm a friend of your daughters and I'm trying to find out what went down in the abandoned house down the street. They said she went missing and was found in a coma." Sam tried explaining again, needing answers.

"You won't get anything outta her." A boy on the side stated, he looked like Ashley had, but younger. "My name is Phil, Ashley was my sister. I was with her that night, but I left early I suppose whatever happened to her happened after I had left. What do you want to know?" Phil asked.

"Everything." Sam finished.

"Come with me. We're going to the House of Rising Sun." Phil informed. Sam stood and thanked Phil and Ashley's mother, not that she took any notice.

"What's wrong with your Mom? If you don't mind my asking." Sam wondered.

"She's just getting old, it's kinda part of the package of living." Phil responded as they stopped in front of the abandoned house Sam was talking about, it really wasn't that far from where Phil was living. Just across the street.

"Why did you call this the House of Rising Sun?" Sam asked.

"Do you know the song? To know the story and to get the sheer stupidity of the name you have to know the song by The Animals-?" he was interrupted.

"I've heard of it." Sam finished, needing to get on with the story.

"Well, a while ago there was a girl, her Mom was a tailor and her Dad was an alcoholic, abusive gambler. Her Dad ended up losing a lot of money and coming to her for more, she refused, and he killed her in return. Her ghost came back and killed the Dad, now she's in that house, feeding on the life forms of others whilst they die. It's how legend goes anyway." Phil exclaimed, smirking when he saw the grim look on Sam's face. "It's just some stupid legend that a bunch of kids came up with, you don't seriously believe it do you?" Phil asked, laughing.

"Nah, I just feel sorry for the girl in the story." Sam lied, half lied. If she was real, and a ghost. Then this case just became a lot easier then normal. But something didn't fit, ghosts don't feed on life forms to survive, they don't survive at all. Maybe something else had happened, and the girl in the story didn't die. "Do you know her name?" Sam asked.

"Anna-Lee Day." Phil spoke straight away, like he had known the name his entire life, no hesitation, no stuttering. Nothing but a deeper sadness, a longing. Sam saw it because he had one of his own. God, he missed Dean, but knew that it was better for Sam to be alone.

"You knew her?" Sam asked.

"What? Dude it's a legend told to scare small children into eating their vegies. _'Better eat up or Anna-Lee Day will come and eat your soul. Oh, and have fun sleeping tonight Cowardice Fiends.'_ " There was also a hidden anger in his tone, he was defensive. Meaning he did know Anna-Lee. Probably loved her.

Sam received a phone call a few moments later. "Do you need to get that? I better go anyway." Phil finished, walking away. He was upset. Definitely loved Anna-Lee Day. Sam looked down at the phone and saw the missed call. Dean, he left a message and everything. Opening the message, Sam listened carefully.

" _Hey Sammy-…"_ Sam's heart stopped at the nickname. When was the last time Dean called him that? _"I… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry things got this outta hand, I'm sorry I kicked you out, I'm sorry I gave you the amulet. But call me back when you get this okay, or just stop ignoring my calls. I didn't mean any of what I said today, I wanna get back and work together, this time will be different I promise. Just agree to talk to me, I have no right to ask but Sammy. We're still brothers. And I still love you."_

Sam wanted so badly to call back, to let Dean know that they could work together again. But he couldn't, Sam had done to much and Dean had said to much for them to continue. It hurt, but Sam just had to ignore it. At least until the case was over, then they would talk. But Dean didn't mean the message, he was just lonely and bored and needed someone to yell at. He knew he couldn't be trusted, knew his big brother hated him the second he gave away the amulet.

Placing his phone back in his pocket, Sam walked towards the House of Rising Sun.

* * *

 _Now the only thing a gambler needs._

 _Is a suitcase and trunk._

 _And the only time he's satisfied._

 _Is when he's on a drunk._

Dean arrived back at the motel, after winning three-hundred and getting himself drunk beyond his own knowledge. Hell, he was surprised he managed to drive back. Did he drive back? Wait… how did he even get back? Dean was more confused then ever. But crashed on his bed, satisfied that he could no longer feel the loss of the little brother he broke.

Having no clue of the events that were about to take place down in New Orleans.

* * *

The house looked just like the inside, old and abandoned. Sam's eyes first caught onto a suitcase leaning up against a trunk. Walking towards it, confused he saw that the two travelling bags looked completely untouched, like they were just put there and never moved. They looked brand new.

"Who are you?" A man to the side asked, his tone slurred.

"Sam Winchester, who're you?" Sam asked.

"Don't belong here. Not supposed to be here, just a dare. Stupid dare, stupid friends." Just like that he disappeared. Sam felt strange, like there were things in this house that wanted him gone, but an even more powerful force keeping him in. Sam looked around some more, grabbing his torch and clicking it open before continuing. Keeping his shotgun at the ready.

"Mister, have you seen Mommy?" A little girl asked.

"No. I haven't." Sam responded honestly.

"Neither have I." The apparition growled, before blood poured down her face and her eyes melted through her skull, it would've scared off anyone passing by. Hell, it managed to frighten Sam, make him sick with the look of the girl melting and her blood pouring. But he had to continue.

 _Come closer._

A voice, a singular, young voice called out to him. And he followed blindly, curious with the voice and needing to figure out what Anna-Lee Day looked like, if she was here, Sam could kill her, and this entire thing would be over with.

Unfortunately, Sam had no knowledge of how hard that was going to be as an astral projection.

 _Closer Sam. Almost there._

There it was again, that same voice. Calling out for him to come towards it, Sam knew it wasn't safe without backup. But Sam didn't have backup right now. His backup was hours away, and Sam was in way too deep to turn back now.

He suddenly heard a growling, looking up he saw a man with his head cut in half. Sam gasped at the pain inflicted and what that must've felt like. He cried out in fear but knew he had to keep going, this place was a haunted mansion, perfect for a time like Halloween. But if Sam had any say in it, no one would be coming here to face horrors ever again. He'd make sure of it.

Receiving another phone call, Sam ignored the spirit and picked up the phone. Soon the spirit vanished. "Dean?" Sam questioned.

"Hey-…" Dean hiccupped.

"You're drunk?" Sam asked, surprised, he thought Dean would've gone on another hunt. Although maybe he was celebrating Sam's absence.

"Sammy!" Dean cried in utter shock and admiration. Elated that Sam had answered the phone. Sam's heart swelled at the nickname, and a subconscious smile fell on his face.

"Dean, go to bed." Sam ordered.

"Miss ya Sammy. When are you coming back?" Dean asked, stuttering and hiccupping throughout his sentence.

"You made it pretty clear that you didn't want me back Dean. I can't talk about it now, I'm in the middle of a hunt." Sam stated.

"What!? Sammy get outta there and go back to the motel. I'll be there soon, and we can do it together. 'member together Sammy, like brothers again." Definitely drunk. Sam wanted nothing more then to agree, he heard the desperation in Dean's voice. They both just wanted to make it right.

"I can't." Sam muttered instead. "Too much has happened Dean, maybe you were right. Maybe we can't be brothers anymore. I'll only get you hurt and killed." He whispered sadly.

"No Sammy. Lied, always lied. Love you, don't regret Cold Oak. Make it again." He was starting to not make sense.

"Go to bed." Sam ordered.

"NO!" Dean shouted, just in time too. Sam was about to hang up. "Not 'til we talk Sammy. Please brother." It had been so long since Dean had spoken to him like this. It only bought Sam more pain.

"I can't Dean. God, it hurts to much okay. The things you said, Dean I can't just come back and pretend it didn't happen. I-…" he was interrupted.

"Not pretend. We'll talk about it. Talk… chick-flick. You like them don't you bitch." He tried the nickname, the last bet in seeing if he could get his little brother back.

"Nah, you're the one that wants them jerk." Sam responded, thinking it was normal. He had no idea how that one commenting insult had put a massive smile to Dean's face, he had no idea that now Dean knew that he had a chance to make things right properly.

"Comin' to New Orleans Sammy." Dean stated.

"No." Sam stopped mucking around, he couldn't have Dean around right now. "God Dean! You can't just say something and throw insults at me telling me you hate me, wish I was dead and that we're not brothers and then hours later want to hunt together again! I'm not some chick you can play with whenever you feel like it!" Sam finally snapped. Which Dean had been waiting for, it gets worse before it gets better. And right now it was getting worse.

 _Found you._

That same voice whispered right in his ear. Sam knew he was now in trouble, jumping to the side, dropping his phone he pointed the flashlight to where he heard the voice and saw the apparition of a girl. It was Anna-Lee, had to be.

Sam shot the shotgun breathing as much as he could before picking up the phone, listening as Dean cried for Sam to get back to the phone, cried for Sam to be okay and to just talk to him. "I'm okay." Sam whispered. "Just got me by surprise. Dean I need to leave. Don't come here okay." Sam ordered. Dean was right, things were definitely getting worse.

"I'm not staying here." He seemed a little bit more sober than before, he was terrified, Sam could die. Shit, Sam could die without knowing how much Dean was sorry, and without knowing how much Dean loved him. He could die scared and alone. "I'm coming Sam. I've already packed the motel. I'm on my way now. You aren't alone." Dean finished, hearing Sam sob lightly through the phone. Dean was getting to him.

"Goodbye Dean."

* * *

Fuck. That wasn't his brothers voice, wasn't at all his brothers voice. The phone hung up before Dean could say anything and a sudden panic overwhelmed him. "No, no, no." Dean murmured, grabbing the bag and placing them in the trunk of the Impala as he called Sam again.

" _This is Sam… leave a message."_ "Sam this is so important okay. That wasn't your voice, just call me back. Or answer your phone, something Sam. Please, I'm begging here." Dean pleaded. He checked out of the motel and got inside the Impala, immediately speeding off towards New Orleans. He had no idea what motel his brother had stayed in, but felt like he didn't need to go there. Sam hadn't been there long enough to settle in. Sam hadn't been there long enough to do anything.

"God, did you even research the hunt?" Dean asked himself, wishing Sam were here so he could ask Sam instead. "I bet you didn't." He responded himself. God, now he was going crazy. "I'm coming Sammy." Dean murmured, not needing to say anything else until he was face to face with Sam himself. Whether Sam wanted him there or not.

* * *

 _Oh mother, tell your children._

 _Not to do what I have done._

 _Spend your lives in sin and misery._

 _In the House of the Rising Sun._

"Where the hell am I?" Sam asked, looking around the area. He didn't recognise it.

"You're out of your body. Astral projection I believe they call it." A girl to the side stated, shrugging.

"You're Ashley." Sam murmured.

"Yeah, Yeah I am. How did you know?" Ashley asked.

"Phil told me-…" he was interrupted.

"You can't trust him." The little girl from before came up behind him, so did the drunken man and a few others.

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Who do you think gave us the idea to come here in the first place? Our souls keep Anna-Lee from vanishing, they keep her close to Phil. You didn't seriously think that we went 'oh look, abandoned house. Let's go see what's inside, might be someone friendly.' No bitch cause nothings in abandoned houses but fuckin' death." An over-dramatic teenage boy snapped before walking towards a couch.

"Phil lead you guys here two?" Sam asked, knowing that Phil did the same to him.

"Yeah, he's in love with Anna-Lee. He knows that if Anna-Lee stays fed she'll stay with him." Ashley murmured sadly. "Started with our Dad, hence the drunken man. Anna-Lee and Phil had that in common. Then our younger sister Emily, then our brother Kenny. Then me recently. There are others around, but none of them are family. He tried with our Mom, but she got away. Messed with her mind though." Ashley sighed.

"We've tried fighting off the newcomers." The little girl stated sadly. "But they just don't get out in time. Anna-Lee always catches them." She sighed.

"Where's my body?" Sam asked, hating the entire situation. He needed to figure out a way to get rid of Anna-Lee. Starting with Phil.

"By the front door, that's where she always puts the bodies. Then they get taken and we never see them again. The same will happen to yours." Ashley stated.

"Your body dies. Without you in it your body grows weaker-…" Sam began.

"We're aware, we feel it when we die." Kenny grumbled, not taking much of a liking to Sam.

"Have you felt it?" Sam asked. Kenny looked towards Emily, they both held grim looks.

"Emily's been here a long time, I felt mine recently. Ashley felt hers today. Anna-Lee only accepts more people when her previous food source dies." Kenny exclaimed.

"That's when Phil makes his mark." Emily stated. Sam walked away, having heard enough information he turned to try and find where his body is, maybe if he stayed there long enough he could prolong his death.

"You won't be able to leave!" Ashley called from the top of the staircase.

"What?" Sam asked, not knowing this part of the information.

"You can't leave. Sam, your stuck here." Ashley sighed, looking down at Sam's unconscious form.

"Go away." Sam sighed, sitting beside his body and placing a light hand on the amulet. Not being able to feel it.

"That'll pass, you'll be able to connect with the real world once you find a reason to. I haven't found one yet, Emily found one when she saw Kenny. Kenny when he saw me. Dad found one when Mom came here, explained everything to her, that's why he's eternally drunk. It's punishment from Anna-Lee." Ashley exclaimed.

None of them knew that Dean had just arrived in New Orleans, and he was ready to find Sam.

* * *

"Have you seen this guy?" This had been the second motel Dean had checked, he was running out of luck in finding where Sam had been. If only Dean listened to Sam explain this case, if only he had cared enough then to do so.

"What's it to ya?" the motel clerk wondered.

"He's my brother, and he isn't answering his phone." Dean replied honestly.

"God, I hope he's not the next." The clerk murmured.

"What do you mean? The next?" Dean wondered curiously. His heart shook at the thought.

"The next to go missing in the House of Rising Sun." he sighed like it was no big deal, they were all used to this by now.

"Where is it?" Dean asked, needing the information.

"I can take you to it, my shift is almost over anyway." He offered.

"Thanks… Phil." Dean thanked, smiling as best he could in this situation.

"Your brother booked room 6 by the way. Now that you mention it, I haven't seen him around here for a few hours now. I hope he's alright." Phil mentioned.

"Did you lead him to this house?" Dean wondered.

"House of Rising Sun? Yeah, he came around my place and started asking questions, my Mom is batshit crazy, so she couldn't answer. I lead Sam there and he just walked inside like nothing was wrong, I think he was planning on staying the night, his duffle bag told me so. Weird place to go searching in if you ask me." Phil informed, causing curiosity to fill Dean. Sam had always been prepared and risky at the same time, but this was completely different, walking into a case as soon as he found the location wasn't something either brother did… ever.

"Why is it called house of Rising Sun?" Dean wondered.

"I told your brother the same information. I suppose I should repeat myself then…" he murmured as they walked down the street. "A while ago there was a girl, her Mom was a tailor and her Dad was an alcoholic, abusive gambler. Her Dad ended up losing a lot of money and coming to her for more, she refused, and he killed her in return. Her ghost came back and killed the Dad, now she's in that house, feeding on the life forms of others whilst they die. Her name was Anna-Lee Day and she's apparently still trapped in the house, the only reason she's still in there is because of the souls that are trapped there. They are taken out of their bodies and the bodies are found, they end up dying out and the spirits are trapped in the House of Rising Sun." Phil finished, he had a look of desperation. Dean noticed a lot more about Phil then Sam had.

"How do you know all this?" Dean wondered curiously.

"A lot of stories were passed down and told throughout my family. Anna-Lee Day was one of them. But she's just a story." Phil looked heartbroken, like he hated himself for saying it. Dean knew that feeling well.

"There's more to it then that, isn't there?" Dean growled suspiciously. Phil knew that Dean had caught onto something, he had to be quick or Dean would break the deal. Dean would break it all and free his brother, which couldn't be done. Sam needed to die, and then Dean would be next. Phil panicked, he had to see Anna-Lee, had to keep her there with him.

"You love her?" Dean questioned, the same question Sam had.

"It's just a story!" Phil yelled defensively.

"But it's not just a story. Where's my brother Phil? What have you done? What's dead should stay dead!" Dean lectured.

"You don't know anything! I'm sorry… but this must be done, you have to be next. After Sam's gone Anna-Lee is going to need another. You know to much already." Dean hated that he was too busy listening to what Phil was confessing to realise what Phil had done, and soon. Dean was knocked unconscious. After this Phil needed to leave for a while, he'd come back after Dean was through, but he just needed to lay low for a while.

* * *

"Sam? You might want to come see this." Kenny whispered. Sam was still seated beside his body, away from anything else. His hand on the amulet wrapped around his bodies neck. He knew that he'd be dead, or that by some miracle he'd suddenly find a way out. Sam looked up and saw Kenny, a grim look upon his face. He looked… empathetic, like he knew what was happening.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, standing up and following Kenny.

"Phil came in earlier, carrying someone in. We didn't know him or recognise him at first, but from the picture in your wallet. We kinda guessed who it was." Kenny murmured. That's when Sam panicked. It couldn't be… He couldn't be here… Sam had told him not to come… it couldn't be…

Sam walked into what used to be the living room, and his heart was crushed at the image before him. Dean was unconscious on the floor beside the old and torn couch. "No… Dean." Sam muttered, he panicked. Dean had to get out of here. Now. "He can't be here, I can't let Anna-Lee get to him as well." Sam snapped.

"You have until Anna-Lee finishes with your body before she moves onto his." Ashley informed.

"That's enough time, but how to I make myself known to him?" Sam wondered.

"You don't have to. We can help, we've done it many times before." Emily offered.

"How many times has that worked. As soon as Dean sees my body… my body. He'll find my body and take me back to the motel. He'll be outta here." Sam informed, he had to get Dean to find his body.

"Good plan. But how are you gonna lead him to your body. It's by the front door and I don't think Dean has any want to go there until he finds you." Kenny exclaimed.

"He'll follow you, just appear like you did to me. It worked with me, you were trying to scare me in the other direction and I followed. Knowing that's what you wanted me to do. Do the same with Dean, just don't attack him." Sam ordered.

"It's it gonna hurt? Knowing Dean's awake and right in front of you, you can see and hear him. But he can't do the same." Ashley asked sympathetically.

"Yeah, but It's better then watching him turn to ruin like the rest of us in this damn House of Rising Sun." Sam sighed in response.

"Let's get to work then." Emily murmured, they all turned to Dean when they heard an unhappy grunt. He was waking up.

"Dean…" Sam whispered.

"Wait until he's standing and walking towards the door. Then Emily, you begin." Kenny ordered. "After that, Dad you do your thing and then I'll be last. Ashley, if your able to make yourself known at any time then help out. And Sam, if it's the same with you just stay in the shadows, if he see's your spirit here he won't want to leave." Kenny finished as each spirit got into their position, Sam kneeled beside Dean, whom had sat up and looked around the room.

"Sammy!" Dean called out, waiting for a response that Sam knew would never come.

"Is he ever going to see me again?" Sam asked.

"Probably not." A random ghost on the side stated. "I'm Drew." The elder woman introduced.

"Hey." Sam whispered. "I'm-…" he was interrupted.

"Sam… I know. I'll do anything to help you both, but be prepared that you might be stuck here forever. Along with us." Drew suggested.

"Thank you. Just get Dean out, I can't have him stuck here." Sam pleaded.

"Sammy!" Dean was standing now, looking around the room with a hand to the back of his head. "Sonofabitch." He murmured in pain. "Sammy! Where are ya kiddo?!" Dean called, pleading for an answer.

"I wish he could see me." Sam whispered.

"You know what Kenny said. How about we head over to your body? Let the children lead your brother there?" Drew offered, placing a hand up onto Sam's shoulder to help reassure the poor boy.

"Yeah. Sure." Sam sighed sadly. Walking away with his head down, unknown that he had accidentally made himself flicker. In which Dean caught the unexpected glance.

"Sammy? Sam!" Dean ran after the apparition. Terrified with what was happening. Sam stopped, turning around and looking towards Dean who had stopped, he was still looking through Sam. Like he wasn't even seeing him, but why had he acted like he could. Sam stood confused.

"Come dear, you must've just flickered in his eyesight. The children know what to do now." Drew informed, Sam turned back around and continued walking. A flicker appeared in Dean's vision.

"Sam!" Dean called, Sam wanted to stop and turn back around, but it would be the same as before. However, Dean was certainly confused. He could see Sam, but just a flickering image. The ghosts were playing tricks on Dean's mind, making him see his little brother that he was missing, they knew it would hurt him. But Dean followed either way, usually someone would go in the opposite direction, but Dean needed to follow.

Sam soon reached his body, kneeling beside it and resuming his position from before, hand on top of the amulet. He could hear Dean calling his name in the distance, and it bought tears to his eyes. But Dean just needed to find his body and get out.

"Sa-…" Dean cut himself off, he sounded close. Dean must've noticed his body. "Sammy!" A cry of utter longing and pain, Sam's heart broke. He wanted to scream out 'I'm right here!' but knew it would only get Dean to stay. "No, no, no, no… Sammy wake up." Dean slid down until he was on the other side of Sam's body. "Sam please." Dean whispered, lightly tapping Sam's face, he felt the taps. Small and light pitter patters on his cheek. Suddenly Dean had stopped moving all together. Resulting in Sam looking up at Dean's face, he had tears falling from his eyes and he was staring down in shock and fear. He was looking at the amulet.

"Dean…" Sam whispered, his tone hitching in sadness. Dean would never see him again. And God it hurt more then Sam could admit. Although Sam tried to see it as something good, in this place, the House of Rising Sun, Sam could do no harm to anyone. Only good, by leading people away. That's something Sam had to stick by now that he could never return to his brother. He was stuck here, stuck in the House of Rising Sun.

"You… You're wearing the amulet? God Sammy, I never should've given it back to you. I never should've taken it off, you mean more to me then anything Sammy." Dean apologized. Although Sam forgave him for everything as soon as Dean called the first time to apologize, he knew that part of Dean didn't mean it. Sam was and will always be a monster, but here, he wasn't. Sure, he was a spirit. But he couldn't harm anyone here.

Dean reached his hand down to take the amulet, wanting to place it back where it belonged. Around his neck, but as Dean went to touch the golden sculpture his hand brushed against something freezing cold. Shooting his hand back, completely shocked, Dean looked down at the amulet. Unknown to him, Sam had also shot his hand backwards and held it towards his chest. Dean was getting closer to finding out the truth.

"Let's get you back to the motel, I'll warm you up and we'll figure out how to do this okay? Cause when we get back you're gonna wake up right?" Dean pleaded.

"If only it were that easy Dean." Sam whispered, standing up and moving to the side as Dean heaved Sam's body upwards.

"You gotta help me out though, I can't carry you on my own. How about you wake up and help me walk you to the car? Those salads are making you fat." Dean joked, it was humourless, but that's how Dean had learnt to cope when he was terrified. He pretended that he didn't care.

"I'm sorry Dean, looks like you have to do more exercise then you thought." Sam joked back, his joke going unheard other then the small child-like chuckle from Emily, who stood behind the Winchester scene.

"Come on Sammy, I gotta carry you back to the motel. I don't even know where we are." Dean sighed.

"Shit, how are they going to get back?" Sam asked, turning to face Kenny.

"Don't worry, Phil couldn't carry Dean here. He drove the Impala." Kenny reassured.

"Dean's gonna throw a bitch-fit when he finds that out. Phil's gonna end up dead whether he helped my death or not." Sam chuckled, watching as Dean walked out. Before disappearing past his view point. It was just black out there, he couldn't see the front yard, nothing. It was just… black. Like he was blind to everything but the inside of the house and the spirits inhabiting it.

"I'm gonna miss him." Sam whispered sadly, tears pooling and falling from his eyes and he fell on his knees and sobbed. "But at least he's safe." His tone hitched, that's when he felt two small arms circle themselves around Sam's neck. Emily was hugging him, trying to make him better. "I've gotta finish this case." Sam stated determinedly. He stood up and walked towards the steps.

"How do you plan to do that Einstein? Anna-Lee can't be found, you don't think we haven't tried? It's a complete failure even trying!" Kenny snapped.

"Where you see failure, I see a challenge. Dean thought the exact same, and you're even more stupid then you pretend to be if you think for a second that I'm going to leave Dean alone without a fight. It's gonna be hard, and I'm gonna need your help. But I'm just not ready to die." Sam informed inspirationally.

"You think any of us were ready to die?!" Ashley lashed out. "You think for a moment that Emily was ready to die? She's a little kid, she should've lived until a ripe old age and then died, peacefully. Not like this. Not Supernaturally." Ashley argued.

"Are you gonna help me or not?" Sam growled, not liking the argument.

"I'll help!" Emily cheered, anything to finally be rid of the House of Rising Sun and to enter her own, personal Utopia with her family.

"Whatever, fine. But what happens to us afterwards, there's a chance you'll go alive. But what about us, if this works, and we get you back before your body dies. Then you'll be with Dean, but it's too late for us, our bodies are already dead?" Kenny questioned.

"We'll go to Heaven!" Emily cheered. "Be with Momma!" She giggled.

"Your Mom's still alive." Sam stated, confused.

"Nah, we felt her die. Phil killed her cause she was gonna go to the police. Momma is in Heaven and she's waiting for us to come see her." Emily informed, Sam stood shocked. They hadn't told him.

"Maybe you'll see my Mom too then." Sam smiled sadly.

"What happened to your Mom?" Emily asked.

"She died when I was a baby." Sam whispered.

"What about your Dad?" Ashley asked.

"He's in hell. Same guy… Demon killed him too." Sam answered honestly.

"Is there a chance that we'll go to hell?" Kenny wondered, scared.

"Are you kidding? After everything you've tried to do in this place. God won't let that happen, you'll all go to Heaven and see your Mom again, even your Dad will be better." Sam reassured.

"If I see your Mom. Imma tell her how awesome you are." Emily cheered.

"Thanks Emily." Sam smiled wearily. "Let's get to work then." He finished before walking up the stairs, thoughts of Dean coating his mind.

* * *

He couldn't figure it out, after bringing Sam back to the motel Dean had begged and pleaded for Sam to be okay and to just wake up. But throughout all his attempts Dean got nothing in return. He looked like he was just sleeping, but Dean knew better. Something was wrong, and he needed to find out what it was. The entire room had been destroyed, showing Dean just how hurt Sam had been when he first got here. Which just bought on more guilt.

After sweeping up Dean knocked against the kitchen table, knocking off a manila folder. It was the New Orleans case file. Sitting down, Dean glanced at Sam sadly before opening the file. He had to find out everything Sam knew, it would be so much easier to have the mindset of his little brother before whatever had happened.

People were going into a house, but they weren't coming out. Authorities discovered every one of the missing people there, they had fallen into coma's, their bodies were fine, they looked like they were just sleeping, except they weren't moving other than their breathing. Dean began to catch onto the symptoms, Sam was experiencing the same thing. The bodies were slowly dying without their host, there's something feeding off the bodies whilst the hosts were inside the house.

"God, Sammy I just left you in there. That was you wasn't it, you were holding onto the amulet for safety and comfort and I just took it away. I took your body away. Shit Sammy. Well, I'm coming back little brother." Dean whispered to Sam, knowing that he wasn't there but inside the House of Rising Sun. He had to see Sam, had to know what Sam knew about the case so he could bring his little brother back.

Unknown that Sam wanted to stay in the House of Rising Sun, Dean took the amulet from around Sam's neck and placed it on his own, missing the feeling of the golden sculpture, Dean grabbed a gun, a flashlight and some salt before rushing out of the motel room, locking Sam's body in there. Not before organising him so he looked like he was just sleeping. Dean took the manila folder with him.

* * *

Sam hadn't expected it, thought that Dean would be gone forever, but here was the Impala, rocking up outside the House of Rising Sun. "What's he doing back here? I thought we got rid of him." Sam snapped, turning to look at Ashley.

"He must've found out." Ashley murmured.

"Shit! The case file, I left it at the motel." Sam scolded himself, of course Dean would've pieced it together, would've seen the symptoms and knew that Sam's soul was here, that his spirit was here.

"Sam! I know you're here buddy!" Dean called out, slamming the front door shut.

"I guess you have to show yourself now. He won't leave unless you do." Kenny stated. "Come up with a plan and roll with it, maybe there's still a chance of you both being saved." He added.

"So, you're gonna help?" Dean asked, walking into the room. Kenny, Emily and Ashley turned around, however Sam stood frozen.

"You can see me?" Kenny asked.

"Yeah, you and a little girl-…" Dean was interrupted.

"Emily." She cheered happily. Dead or not, she was a very positive child.

"I'm-…" he was interrupted again.

"You're Dean, Sam's told us a lot about you." Emily spoke.

"Where is he?" Dean wondered, needing to know. That's when Sam turned around.

"He can't see me?" Sam asked, devastated. He waved a hand in front of Dean's eyes, but got nothing. Dean noticed Emily and Kenny looking somewhere directly in front of him.

"Is he here?" Dean questioned again.

"Yeah, but you can't see him yet. Sam's gotta work on finding the energy to show himself. Same with Ashley." Emily stated.

"Sammy. Use my energy man, use some of mine." Dean offered.

"No." Sam refused.

"He said no." Kenny translated for Dean.

"Why?" Dean asked.

"Because, it's better this way." Sam replied as Kenny translated.

"How is this better? Some kid saying your words for you when you should be here, talking to me properly. Sammy please, I gotta see you." That's when Sam noticed the amulet.

"You're wearing it…" Sam whispered as Kenny once again translated, he was confused with the translation, and looked towards Sam for confirmation. But Dean knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Yeah, it's back where it belongs. I never should've taken it off. I know it was you holding the amulet earlier, that's why when I went to grab it, it was ice cold." Dean stated. "Hold it." He offered.

"I can't. It would be freezing." Kenny translated.

"I don't care." Dean huffed, needing to know exactly that Sam was in front of him, even if he felt the ice cold that he knew he would. Dean needed to feel Sam's presence.

"Don't flinch." Kenny whispered, looking extremely empathetic towards a direction in front of Dean. He knew that Sam didn't want to hurt or scare Dean, so he remained in position. Trying to be ready for the cold he knew would be coming. He just wasn't ready for that amount of coldness. He felt a light coolness shift closer before it turned into a burning ice feeling. Sam was holding the amulet now. But Dean still hissed and accidentally flinched at the feeling.

"I told you!" Sam yelled. Soon Dean felt the coldness remove itself, but somehow it made him feel colder than before.

"No, Sammy where did you go?" Dean pleaded.

"He's either upset, mad or a bit of both." Kenny exclaimed.

"Sam. That wasn't your fault, it was just a little cold that's all. I'm okay." Dean whispered.

"Go find Phil, bring him here." Sam ordered, in which Kenny translated.

"Why? Why would you want to speak with that punk ass?" Dean snapped.

"Because Phil is the one that put us all here. Fed us to Anna-Lee like we were some turkey based dinner." Emily informed, cutting into the conversation.

Soon Dean heard a yell of anger, and saw another form show. Unfortunately, it wasn't Sam. "Who are you?" he wondered.

"You can see me? Yes! It worked. I didn't think it would work. My name is Ashley, Phil is Kenny, Emily and my brother. He led us here and fed us to Anna-Lee. As well as our Dad, our Mom was almost taken but she escaped. Phil killed her not long ago actually, anyway. Right now, Anna-Lee is feeding off Sam, taking his energy. That's why it's harder for him to animate himself so you can see. And along the fact that he doesn't want to. But you need to find Phil, so we can get answers on how to stop this." Ashley informed in a rush, she needed them all to hurry the hell up. Or Sam was definitely dead. "I won't let someone else be killed when we can do something to stop it." She added.

"Sam feels the same." Emily added, receiving a nod from Sam and nodding in return.

"Does anyone know where he is?" Dean asked.

"He usually gets on a train after bringing a body here for Anna-Lee. And being that he's bought two, it might be a while before he returns. If you're quick you might be able to catch him." Kenny replied.

"Sammy…" Dean whispered.

"He knows Dean, but you have to go." Emily added, pushing him out the living room door.

"Wait! Whilst I'm gone get him to animate himself, I don't care if you have to force it outta him!" Dean called as the small child strongly shoved him away.

"Sam misses you." She murmured as they were in front of the door. "He keeps crying because he knows that you'll never see him again. But for some reason he's still fighting to come back because he doesn't want to disappoint you again." Emily relayed the information she knew. "What does he mean by again?" she wondered curiously.

"I don't know, Sam's never disappointed me before." Dean spoke truthfully, unknown that Sam was listening. "I love him, and I just want him to wake up and for us to put everything behind us. We were always brothers and that will never change." Dean informed, somehow sensing the presence of Sam and now knowing that his little brother was listening to every word.

"He says thank you." Emily whispered before flickering out of eyesight.

"Your welcome Sammy. I'll bring Phil here, and when this is over… I'm just gonna put it out there that we're never coming back to New Orleans." Dean told, turning and walking out. Leaving his heart and soul behind… metaphorically speaking.

* * *

 _Well, I got one foot on the platform._

 _The other foot on the train._

 _I'm goin' back to New Orleans._

 _To wear that ball and chain._

Phil waited at the train station, it was dark and completely abandoned, but Phil knew that there was one more train before they stopped for the night. That was the one he'd be getting on. Looking around the area he felt scared, those two brothers, they had messed everything up. They were different and had caught up way sooner then they should've. They should've gone into the house and then caught up with the thought of death. But that Dean guy, he knew way before they even left the motel. Hopefully Anna-Lee was finished with Sam and had begun on Dean. Phil hoped that were true.

As soon as the train came, Phil went to board it. One foot on the platform and placing the other on the train, before he could walk forward someone grabbed his collar and ripped him out.

"Goin' somewhere?" Shit, that was Dean's voice. Dean's angry voice. Phil remembered it.

"Yeah, I'm getting out of New Orleans, if you're smart you'd do the same. Anna-Lee's gonna be strong after Sam's done." Phil growled, Dean would've punched him if Phil weren't a minor.

"Only legal if you get caught." Dean shrugged, swinging his arm back and smashing his fist into Phil's temple. Knocking him clean out.

"Well kid… I'm goin' back to New Orleans, and you're comin' with me." Dean growled, lifting the kid in a fireman's carry. Dean placed him in the Impala as the train drove away. He needed to get back to the House of Rising Sun. "My brother's soul has been stuck there, condemned to wear that ball and chain known as Anna-Lee, and I won't let him go without a fight." Dean growled at Phil's unconscious form.

* * *

Upon arrival, Dean didn't realise that Sam had gotten everything ready for Phil. Walking inside with the teenager he saw a chair in the living room. Kenny and Emily were inside talking. Ashley was fixing the chair and like before, Dean couldn't see Sam.

"Here's your brother. Where's mine?" Dean asked, looking around the room as he threw Phil into the chair.

"Like I said before it isn't that easy. Anna-Lee is forcing Sam's energy out of him. Sam can't find the energy to show himself. He doesn't have it." Ashley sighed, strapping Phil down.

"Is he here?" Dean asked, noticing all three children look behind him. Kenny sighed deeply before shaking his head.

"No."

"Don't get them to lie for you Sammy. Where's the fun in that?" Dean joked, turning around. He couldn't see Sam, but knew that this would be the case. "How about you use my energy?" he offered again.

"He said that you have to eat, shower and sleep first. Doesn't want you to become weaker from him taking your energy." Emily translated.

"You want me to leave? Hell, no Sam!" Dean snapped. "Family stick together!" he suddenly grew angry. As did Sam by this statement.

"Are you kidding me?! You're the one that kicked me out Dean! You're the one that said we weren't brothers! You threw the amulet in my face, not the other way around! You can't just come here whilst I'm dying and expect me to just pretend nothing happened! If I hadn't been caught by Anna-Lee, if we weren't in this situation. Would you have come here?" Sam barked out angrily. Dean saw Sam flickering, saw the angry look in his eyes. He heard some of the words spoken, but Kenny still translated then anyway. Making it easier.

"I know… and you don't understand how sorry I am. God, Sammy I'm so sorry. But I'm trying to make it better." Dean pleaded.

"What is it you said to me? An apology only works if you mean it." Sam growled, as Kenny translated.

"Sam! What's gotten into you?!" Ashley snapped. "You don't suddenly become this angry at someone you were crying over before." She added. Dean grew confused at that statement, but continued anyway.

"Of course, I mean it Sam. I didn't mean anything I said to you, I'd fight Heaven, Hell and everything in between for you. You gotta know that." Dean snapped, needing his brother to see just how sorry he was. "I'd make that Cold Oak deal a thousand times again if it meant you were here." Dean finished.

"What the hell is happening?" Phil groaned, waking up. Dean turned around.

"Sam don't!" Emily screamed, Dean looked at Emily before seeing Phil get thrown across the room. Sam's apparition finally appeared, but it was flickering.

"You did this! You killed me!" Dean had only seen this type of transformation with… no… oh god no.

"Vengeful spirit." Dean whispered, looking up at Phil. He was being lifted from the ground by Sam's hands. Sam didn't have enough energy for this. He'd die quicker than Anna-Lee could feed. "Sammy stop!" Dean screamed, in which Sam immediately stopped, Ashley rushed and strapped Phil back in the chair. "Please." Dean whispered.

"You… you can see me?" Sam sobbed, pleading that it was true, that Dean could really see him. He began flickering again, but Dean didn't say anything. Not with the look in Sam's eyes, the hopeful, look of faith Sam had.

"Yeah. I can see you buddy. But you can't hurt him okay. We need answers and you'll become weaker then before. I'll shower, eat and sleep. Then you can use my energy to fully manifest. But you gotta promise me that you won't touch him, that you'll be careful." Dean pleaded. In response Sam slowly nodded. Crying deeply.

"I miss you Dean. God, I miss you. I didn't think you'd be able to see me again, I just got so angry-…" Sam began to rant, but was interrupted.

"I get it. You don't know how much I get it. I miss you as well. But I knew I was gonna see you again, because I'd free you from that Anna-Lee bitch and if I couldn't, I'd join you here." Dean exclaimed.

"You can't, I've tried so hard to keep you out of here. You can't ruin that Dean. This place has already been the ruin of every poor man and woman that's come through that door. You can't add to that." Sam pleaded.

"I won't. Because we'll get you out." Dean stated, Sam nodded his head. Agreeing. "I'll be back okay. I'll come back tomorrow and meanwhile you can get answers outta him. Be careful though Sammy." And after a small flicker, Sam was gone. Emily ran towards the location Sam had been in and flickered out her apparition as well. Probably trying to make Sam feel better.

"Take care of my brother." Dean ordered.

"Of course. Take care of yourself, then come back." Ashley ordered, her and Kenny flickering out before Dean turned and walked away. Having no choice but to trust them with his brother.

* * *

"What do we do about your brother?" Sam asked.

"I'm more concerned about what to do with yours. Whether you want it to happen or not, Dean is coming back constantly. Once Anna-Lee gets knowledge of what's happening, that's if she doesn't already know, she's gonna take Dean to get even more power. Then this entire plan is pointless cause we'd all be dead." Ashley informed.

"I can't exactly tell him to stay away." Sam sighed.

"That's exactly what you're going to have to say. Dean's not like us Sam, he still has a chance to get out of here. He can't come back, we can't let someone else be taken." Kenny argued.

"If the rolls were reversed I'd do the exact same thing." Sam snapped.

"But the rolls aren't reversed, and right now you gotta do the right thing. Pick the option that has a certainty that Dean will make it out alive and untouched." Ashley ordered.

"I… I can't let him go yet." Sam whispered.

"You've got no choice. If you love him, you'd let him go." Emily pleaded. "That's what I had to do." She added.

"It's what we all had to do." Ashley added.

"But you're all together!" Sam barked out, tears in his eyes once more.

"Sam… you know it's the right thing. You can't be selfish here." Kenny pleaded, he didn't want to see Anna-Lee take another life anytime soon. He just wanted this over.

"What am I supposed to do?" Sam sobbed. Ashley held out Sam's phone.

"Call him, tell him anything that will hurt him enough to keep him away." Ashley ordered.

"No. I can't do that. I won't. There's gotta be a separate way to keep him gone." Sam pleaded, standing up and leaving the phone with Ashley.

"There isn't Sam, you know that. Hurt him or he will die anyway." Ashley barked out, needing Sam to understand that this is how it was now.

* * *

"Can we wait until tomorrow? Dean needs to rest. Please." Sam begged, he just needed more time. He needed time to plan what he was going to say, he couldn't rage out. He couldn't tell Dean hurtful things. Not now, not after everything. He had to somehow get Dean to understand.

The next morning soon arose. And Sam was still hanging low, his energy falling beyond human survival. He didn't have much time left, could barely move anymore. He had to keep trying, he pleaded for strength, a strength that wouldn't come.

"It's time Sam." Emily whispered, handing Sam the phone.

"I… I know." Sam was out of tears, he had cried the night away. Anna-Lee had taken too much of his energy. He didn't know what he was running on, or why he wasn't dead yet. But he'd figure it out.

"Dean…" Sam whispered once Dean picked up the phone.

"I'm almost out of the motel Sammy. Hang in there." So, Dean knew something was wrong.

"How's… how's my body." Sam asked, extremely tired.

"God, Sammy you stopped breathing a few times last night. I'm out the door now." Dean stated, he looked like he was carrying something heavy.

"What're you doing?" Sam asked.

"I've got your body, I can't leave it alone in there with the risk of you dying-…" He was interrupted.

"Stay away." Sam whispered.

"I beg your pardon. I think I heard wrong." Dean's voice was released of it's weight, his body was placed down somewhere. Probably the Impala.

"It's too dangerous now. Stay away Dean. Don't come here." Sam pleaded that Dean would get the message and stay away. But Dean was just as stubborn as Sam, if not more when it came to the little brother duties.

"No chance Sammy. If you die, then Anna-Lee can have me too." Dean snapped through the phone.

"You were right Dean." Sam sobbed. "Should've stayed dead in Cold Oak. Shouldn't have made the deal." Sam cried. He heard an engine running. "Please don't come here Dean. I'm begging you to stay away." Sam ordered.

"I don't care." Dean growled.

"Stay. Away." Sam ordered in a low, menacing voice. Well, as menacing as it could get before he hung up the phone. Slightly glad that Dean was still coming anyway, but terrified that Anna-Lee could get to him too. "He didn't listen." Sam stated, handing the phone back to Emily.

"What? Pick up the phone and call him again then!" Ashley snapped. "Make him listen. Dean can't come here!" she shouted angrily.

"He won't listen. And if I'm being honest, neither would I." Sam murmured, falling asleep. It was a shock to everyone. Spirits didn't sleep.

"We gotta get that information. Now." Ashley growled, rushing into the living room where Phil was waiting.

"Explain to me right now how to stop this or I swear I'll kill you!" Ashley barked out, Phil looked up with expecting eyes.

"Hey Ash." He greeted, like he didn't care.

"How could you do this? To strangers you don't even know. To us. I thought we were family Phil." Ashley decided to take another approach, one Kenny caught up on.

"We were a family. But I love Anna-Lee, I couldn't let her go." Phil looked down, remorseful but not regretting his decisions.

"And what about Mom, what did she ever do?" Emily cried out.

"She was gonna tell on me. She was gonna go to the police and they would take me away. Anna-Lee can't be here if I'm not-…" Phil immediately shut up, eyes wide. "Wait… I lied. She can." He stuttered.

"To late now little brother. You've already said it." Kenny smirked, rushing away.

"We'll wait." Ashley told Emily.

"Why?" Emily responded.

"Because I think Dean will wanna do the honours of wasting this bastard." Ashley growled, storming out, ignoring the cries of Phil. They didn't need to worry about Anna-Lee, she wouldn't come out, she didn't love Phil. Just loved the food and strength he provided her with. She didn't understand that once Phil was gone, she'd go back to Hell where she belonged.

The front door burst open, Dean carrying Sam before both dropped on the ground, Dean dropping Sam softly as he landed. "He stopped breathing, I couldn't get him back again. What do I do?" Dean snapped, staring up at Kenny for answers.

"Dean…" Ashley began. "Sam's soul fell asleep." She looked down sadly, it was too late for Sam, but Dean could still be saved.

"You're lying. Spirit's don't-…" Dean stopped talking, his eyes growing wide and tears pooling. "No. No Sammy. Where is his spirit?" Dean growled, standing up.

"Follow." Emily ordered, rushing towards the kitchen area.

Come here Dean…

It was a girl's voice. "Do you hear that?" Dean questioned.

"It's Anna-Lee, you've gotta ignore her. We'll find Sam, reanimate him and she'll leave you alone okay. Then we gotta kill Phil cause once he's dead everything will be fine." Emily stated.

"Then let's kill him now." Dean snapped.

"NO!" Emily screamed. "If we kill Phil now then Sam won't have anything to come back to. His spirit won't be held here anymore, and he'll be gone." She explained. Dean's eyes widened at the thought of never being able to see his brother again. God, he'd follow Sam straight away.

"Take me to Sam. Now Emily." Dean ordered as they rushed to a wall. "I don't see him." Dean whispered, shocked.

"He's too weak. Sam? Dean's here, you gotta wake up." Emily kneeled on the ground, soon followed by Dean as she brushed her hand along something invisible but seemingly cold and solid.

"Sammy?" Dean whispered, pleading that his brother wake up and be alive.

"He's outta energy." Emily sadly stated.

"Take some of mine. How does he take mine? Please Emily." Dean pleaded.

"He doesn't want to." Emily whispered.

"I can't let him die. Emily please, let him take some of mine. At least until this is over." Dean begged.

"Okay." Emily whispered, grabbing Dean's hand. They both ignored his gasp of pain from the skin to skin ice cold contact. She placed his hand on something a little warmer, but still freezing. Dean knew it was Sam.

"Please Sammy. Take some of mine, I'm cool with it, I don't care. But my hand is gonna stay here until you do. Whether it gets frostbite and falls off or not. Cause either my hand falls off, or you take some of my energy. There's no other option." Dean informed. Sam's eyes immediately opened as he gasped.

"He's breathing!" They heard a yell from the front hall.

"Thank God, Sammy." Dean whispered, pulling Sam in for a bone crushing hug. Sam noticed Dean's cold shivering.

"Stop… hugging me Dean. You're gonna get cold and die of hypothermia." Sam half joked, finding it hard to kick Dean from hugging him. Either way, Sam hugged back.

"It feel's weird. Hugging your soul." Dean stated.

"Right back at ya." Sam laughed. They both released, and Dean no longer heard Anna-Lee's voice.

"We gotta kill Phil." Emily stated.

"Come on Sammy. We're gonna do the honours." Dean smirked as they all stood up. Sam using the walls to keep him upright. "Let me help." Dean went to go to him.

"NO!" Sam shouted, stopping Dean's movements. "Your skin is already red and you're shivering like crazy. There are marks everywhere. I'm not letting you get closer until I'm inside my body and awake. You'll have to wait until this entire thing is over." Sam snapped.

"Sam, I'm fine." He hated how Sam wouldn't let him get close, it felt like Sam was blocking him out. In a way he was, but he hated that it was for his own safety.

"Humour me." Sam growled. They got into the living room and Sam slid down the wall.

"Don't go falling asleep on me Snow White." Dean ordered.

"Wouldn't dream of it Dean." Sam chuckled lightly. "Snow White was poisoned you moron. Sleeping Beauty fell asleep." He snapped after the realisation.

"I'm shocked that you know this information… wait… no I'm not." Dean laughed.

"Stop the banter." Ashley ordered. But both Winchester brothers had been perfectly happy with the banter. It was the first time since the devil that they were truly brothers again. Even if Sam was just his soul right now and closer to death then Dean would've liked.

Sam lightly closed his eyes, which Dean immediately caught onto. Rushing over to Sam, he placed his hand on Sam's check as his little brother flickered. "What're… you doing?" Sam asked weakly.

"Take more of my energy. Or my hand freezes off." Dean ordered. So, Sam complied, knowing Dean was just as stubborn as he was. Sam's eyes widened, and his body's breath stopped hitching. He got enough strength back to stand.

"I gotta disappear Dean, it's using to much energy." Sam stated.

"Then take enough of mine so you stay visible." Dean kept his hand on Sam's cheek until he did so. Which made Dean tired. Sam stood from the ground, Dean soon following.

"You back." Dean yawned.

"Yeah, you?" Sam asked.

"Better then ever. Let's kill this bitch." Dean growled, turning to face Phil. He was shaking, and looked terrified.

"Wait… he's not meant to be alive. Anna-Lee was meant to get rid of him. This isn't right, none of this is part of the plan. You can't kill me!" Phil begged and pleaded.

"Do it Dean." Sam growled.

"Gladly." Dean took out his gun, each of his siblings watching as Dean emptied the clip into Phil's skull. But of course, it wasn't that easy. They all heard an angry scream, turning around Dean saw Anna-Lee Day screeching as she charged at Sam. Their spirits fell into a white and black mist. Anna-Lee was the black mist, meaning Sam had to be the white one. Part of Dean was extremely happy, and elated that Sam was still pure and innocent. His soul was white, not coated in evil. It made all negative thought disappear. But the other part was terrified, he was being attacked by Anna-Lee and by the looks of his body, he was struggling to hold his own.

"What do we do?" Kenny snapped, looking towards Ashley.

"We help him!" Emily shouted, charging at the fight and turning into a smaller white mist.

"Emily no!" Ashley shouted.

"Maybe this is it. Maybe this is how we'll be free." Kenny muttered happily, rushing towards the fight and turning into a white mist.

"Tell Sam… thank you. He really stopped all of this, and tell him that no matter what, he'll always do good on this planet. Earth needs him alive to fight the evil. His soul says so." Ashley looked at Dean, speaking her final words before rushing to join the fight. Her own white mist colliding and soon the fight was over. Anna-Lee's spirit was slammed down into hell. The white mists separated. The largest being Sam, who moved a little away. The three others, began to rise. The smallest entering heaven first.

"Good luck Emily." Dean whispered. Then there was the middle sized. "Kenny." He muttered. Finally, Ashley was bought into Heaven. "Thank you most of all Ashley, for taking care of Sam when I couldn't do it. I'll always owe you. You belong in Heaven, you all do." Dean whispered. He turned to the final soul. His brother.

"Hey Sammy." Dean whispered, in return the mist shot towards him and into his chest. Sam's soul touched his. Leaving an array of different emotions, peace, love, devotion, trust. So much more that Dean had forgotten Sam could feel since the devil rising. Laughing through the happy tears, he saw Sam's soul leave his body and glide to his own, moving just above Sam's heart. "It's okay now Sammy. Come back to me." Dean ordered, watching as Sam's soul shot into his chest. His eyes shot open as Dean rushed to his side.

"Dean…" soon after that very word, Sam fell asleep again. Probably getting back his strength. The name had always been his first word. And it always will be.

"I know Sammy… I know." Dean whispered. Glad it was all finally over.

* * *

 _Well, there is a house in New Orleans._

 _They call the Rising Sun._

 _And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy._

 _And God I know I'm one._

"Hey Sam." Dean greeted, smiling as Sam finally… finally woke up.

"Hey." Sam whispered, remembering everything and immediately sitting up. He looked down at his limbs. Feeling completely different, feeling… alive. "Dean… am I?-…" Sam wondered, cutting himself off.

"Yeah, your back Sammy." Dean chuckled as Sam turned and latched onto him in the biggest hug he'd ever received.

"God, Dean." Sam whispered, tears coming once again.

"I know. But it's over. It's over." Dean reassured.

"I wanna get outta here. I don't want to come back here. Ever." Sam snapped, standing up and moving around to look for his things.

"I'm already ahead of you Sam, everything's already packed up and in the Impala, I was just waiting for you to wake up before we got moving. I thought it would give you great satisfaction to see the 'Come back soon' sign of New Orleans as we left." Dean stated.

"Is this real? Is it really over?" Sam asked, stopping his movement and slowly turning to Dean, who walked towards Sam and hugged his little brother close.

"Does his feel real Sammy?" He whispered in Sam's ear.

"I thought I'd never see you again. They kept saying that you should never come back. I thought I was going to die, they thought I was gonna die." Sam rambled.

"Well, you didn't. And no matter what you say. I'll always come back. We're brothers." Dean whispered, hating what he had said that caused this entire thing again.

"Dean… it's fine. I forgave you the moment you rang me and wanted to get back together, and I believed you when you were willing to die or freeze your hand off to keep me alive." Sam reassured. "I forgave you, so forgive yourself. Then we're even." Sam told, hugging back.

"Okay Sammy… okay." Dean whispered.

They soon sat in the Impala, driving away… far away from New Orleans. "What now?" Sam asked.

"Stay with Bobby for a bit. Get some rest." Dean stated.

"We've had enough time off finding the devil Dean. And I don't think it's a clever idea to see Bobby, after what I did-…" Sam was cut off. "I'm tainted." He sighed.

"You shut right up Samuel Winchester." Dean snapped, in which Sam's eyes widened. "Do you wanna know what happened when Anna-Lee attacked you? After we killed Phil." Dean didn't wait for an answer. "Your soul turned white. Meaning you belong in Heaven Sam." Tears came to Sam's eyes at the statement, but still Dean didn't finish. "Meaning whoever the hell is up there, doesn't think you're tainted, they want you up there Sam. Who gives a shit what you've done?! You're not tainted because your soul said so. Ashley wanted me to tell you, thank you. You stopped the House of Rising Sun from continuing and to tell you that no matter what, you'll always do good on this planet. Earth needs you alive to fight the evil, because your soul says so." Dean finished, needing Sam to understand what Dean had seen.

"Thanks Dean." Sam muttered, Dean gave a nod in return. "I remember entering your chest, touching your soul. What did you feel?" Sam asked.

"Sam… you're my brother, and I love you. But I just gotta keep this a secret." Dean smirked, not being able to explain what he felt into words that the English language could comprehend.

"Jerk." Sam muttered.

"Bitch." Dean laughed, loving their banter moments once more. A silence swept through the Impala, before they both saw the 'Come back soon' sign and thought back to the moments that would ensure neither of their return.

"Well…" Dean began, Sam turned to face Dean, giving a silent order for him to continue. "There is a house in New Orleans they call the Rising Sun." Dean stated, sighing heavily.

"And…" Sam continued, Dean glancing at his brother to continue. "It's been the ruin of many a poor boy." Sam sighed before continuing regretfully. "And God… I know I'm one." He added, looking out the window sadly.

To make him feel better. Dean slapped Sam's shoulder. "Never again Sammy. You're no longer in the House of Rising Sun." And away they drove.


	9. 9 - Black Water

**Chapter 9 - Black Water**

 **.Pre-Series.**

Sam = 14

Dean = 18

 _The Winchester family are having a little R &R in a lake house cabin. When John finds out that Sam can't swim, he throws Sam into the water in hopes that he'll learn. Dean returns to the cabin in time to see John throw Sam in the water. Now it's just a matter of time to see if Sam makes it out. Especially when John is holding Dean back from reaching his brother._

* * *

"Where's Dean?" Sam asked curiously, walking into the living room of the small cabin they were now staying in for some rest and relaxation after their last hunt.

"He went out shopping, I was gonna ask if you wanted to go to the lake and swim for a while until he gets back." John offered, placing a gun in the waistband of his pants. Sam's eyes immediately went wide, Dean said he was gonna teach Sam to swim whilst they were here. But they hadn't gotten around to it yet. Sam soon grew incredibly nervous.

"I'd rather just stay here. I don't want to swim." Sam commented, turning around and walking towards his and Dean's shared room.

"No, Sam it's a hot day today and I figured we would go out. When Dean gets back we can head inside but for now we can go out." John sighed, hoping that he would get to bond with Sam and not argue for once. But Sam was ruining that by disagreeing.

"Dad I can't." Sam sighed, stopping in his tracks but not turning to face him.

"Can't what?" John asked, confused.

"I can't swim. I never learnt how to." Sam replied, turning around to finally face John but looking towards the ground instead.

"Follow me." John ordered, the plan coming up in his mind. It was the same way he was taught to swim, it was how he taught Dean to swim. And now Sam needed to learn how to swim, if they were on a case with water and they were in trouble Sam needed to know how to swim.

Sam looked up towards John, confused and slightly scared as he watched his Dad walk out of the cabin and towards the jetty leading into the lake. Sam rushed after him and followed, maybe his Dad would teach him to swim. But Sam kinda just wanted it to be a Dean and Sam thing. He would've rather Dean teach him because he was able to learn things quicker when Dean was training him rather than John.

"Dad? What're you doing? Are you teaching me to swim?" Sam asked curiously. He had been a little frightened with the lack of response from John, but followed nonetheless.

"I am teaching you to swim the same way I was taught, and how I taught Dean." John responded, not giving away the details because it would've surely made Sam turn and run in the other direction. John knows he would've if he knew what his own father was going to do.

"Then where are the towels, and why aren't you in any bathers?" Sam just had to keep asking questions, he needed to know the answers. He was observant, and knew as soon as they left the door to the cabin that something wasn't right. "Dad?" Sam asked again after receiving no response. They were on the jetty now, walking along the wooden planks and out to the lake. They were past any shoreline now.

"Dad? Please answer me? What's happening?" Sam asked again. Suddenly stopping in his tracks and not moving a muscle.

"I've already told you that I'm going to teach you how to swim Sam." John rolled his eyes in irritation. Sam needed to know how to swim, and there was no other way in teaching him then throwing him in the water and letting him figure it out for himself, it would show courage and strength if he made it out of the water. It would show what a true hunter Sam really could be. This would help him suck it up, and show both John and Dean that Sam can do things for himself.

"How?" Sam couldn't help but ask.

"I'll show you if you just stop standing there and continue walking. There's nothing to be afraid of Sam." John snapped angrily. He had to get through to Sam that this was the best way to learn. Step by step Sam followed John and soon they reached the edge of the jetty.

"Now wha-?" Sam was interrupted by John pushing him into the water. The shock would've got to him quicker, but the ice coldness of the water shocked him more then anything else. Unknown to the two Winchester's on the jetty. Dean had just arrived at the cabin and had exited the Impala when he caught sight of John push Sam into the water. Knowing full well that Sam couldn't swim.

"Sam!" Dean screamed fearfully, dropping the shopping onto the ground by the trunk of the Impala as he bolted towards the jetty. Stripping off his leather jacket and taking his phone, wallet and keys out of his pockets as he ran. "Sam!" He screamed again, watching as Sam came back up for air, his limps flailing around and causing the water around him to splash in complete chaos before Sam went under again.

Dean made it onto the jetty, and it wasn't long before he was at the edge. He knew exactly what had happened, John was teaching Sam to swim the exact same way Dean was taught. But Dean got lucky when he learnt and he had the ground closer to his feet then John predicted. Dean had learnt how to swim by keeping his feet on the ground at first and moving his arms like he had seen on the T.V. John never knew about it. He hadn't told anyone how he cheated into surviving his swimming lesson. But Sam was different, there was no ground beneath him. They were too far from the shoreline to have any ground for Sam to stand on without having his head underneath the water.

"Sam!" Dean shouted again, about to dolphin dive into the water before feeling two strong hands wrap around his waist, he knew exactly who was holding him back. "Dad! Let go! Sam's drowning!" Dean screamed fearfully, fighting against John's hold but not making any progress in disabling the grip. John was a lot stronger then Dean, he always had been.

"Sam will make it Dean. He needs to learn how to swim." John tried to reason. They saw Sam breach the surface of the lake again.

"Dean!" Sam screamed, terrified. He knew Dean wasn't there, and that his Dad wouldn't help him. But he was terrified and in panic. He couldn't keep himself above water for long enough, trying to catch his breath before sinking under again. Then Sam was once again bought back under. All that was seen was the splashes of his attempts to come back up for air that he so desperately needed.

"I'll teach him to swim! Let go!" Dean pleaded, tears pooling in his eyes as he tried harder to escape his fathers grip. He needed to get to Sam, knowing that his little brother wouldn't last longer.

"No Dean. He needs to learn like a Winchester. He needs to be taught like one. He's useless to us if he can't do this on his own. Stop. Fighting. Me!" John barked an order, but this was an order Dean didn't obey. He continued to fight. And he stayed fighting John's grip.

"No! It's not right! Let me go Dad! Please!" Dean was begging now. Watching as Sam breached surface once more. He was coughing this time, spitting out water he accidentally swallowed. Which only caused more fear to swim through Dean.

"Sammy!" Dean screamed, but Sam couldn't seem to hear him. He couldn't get any more air through his lungs before he was bought back under. Too exhausted to continue trying to swim, and not being able to get very far anyway. Sam Winchester gave up.

Dean and John ceased all movement. They couldn't see the splashes, they couldn't see the struggle. It was like the water had gobbled up another victim, and the raging waters below the two Winchester's was now calm again, waiting for its next competitor.

"No. No, no, no. What have you done?" Dean whispered, John's eyes were wide and fearful. Sam was supposed to make it out. Sam was supposed to learn how to swim and make it out of there. "What have you done?!" Dean asked again, this time loud and angry as he shoved his father roughly away from him. John saw the bitter anger and hatred in Dean's eyes. If Sam were truly gone, he knew he'd lose Dean as well. He's probably already lost Dean. "Sam!" Dean screamed, hoping to get through to his brother. Dean tried jumping off again, but throughout John's grieving sadness from losing one child, he took hold of the other one.

"I can't let you go in there Dean." John whispered in Dean's ear. Holding onto Dean's waist once again.

"What are you doing?! Sam! Let me go you arsehole!" Dean barked out angrily, once more trying to get out of John's grip.

"I've already lost one son today. I won't lose two!" tears were pooling out of John's eyes now. He let himself cry, he had to let himself cry.

"What the fuck are you doing?! I can save him! Take care of Sammy!" Dean yelled out, the order John had given him since Sam was born. Coming back to bite them in an ironic way because John had been the one to put Sam in danger, John had been the one to kill his youngest. "Sammy!" Dean screamed out, heart-wrenching cries echoing across the lake. "Let go!" Dean barked out, pleading to save Sam. They all stopped movement again, once seeing a small splash beneath them.

"Sam?" Dean whispered.

Meanwhile below the surface of the water, Sam was just floating. Letting the coldness of the water move his hair around his head and steal the last bit of breath he had left. Sam was tired, he wanted to close his eyes and just stop. But then he heard Dean, calling out his name. "Sammy!" By some miracle Sam had heard his name being called below the water. And something had kicked his mind into gear.

 _-You stupid moron! You let go here you'll die! If you die you're gonna leave Dean! You can't leave Dean alone! Fight dammit! Fight!-_

That's all Sam needed, he looked around him and saw a pillar to a jetty, feeling in his lungs that he didn't have time Sam latched hold of the pillar and used it as a hoist to push himself upward, moving towards the surface. His body stopped moving just above the surface, making a small splash in the water. He could see them, Dean and John just on the jetty. John was holding Dean back, and Dean looked like he wanted to get in. So, that's Dean hadn't come to save him. It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was because he couldn't.

John was so getting the silent treatment when Sam managed to get out of the terrifying waters surrounding him. Sam reached upward, as far as he could and finally managed to grab hold of the edge of the jetty. Using his remaining strength to pull himself up, taking a massive gulp of the sweet oxygen, he would never take for granted again.

The other two Winchester's were in shock, John was in too much shock to keep hold of Dean. And Dean used it to his advantage, breaking free of John's hold Dean kneeled and grabbed hold of Sam's other hand. Pulling his little brother up. "Sam?" Dean whispered. Pulling Sam up into his lap and just holding him, placing Sam's head to Dean's heart so both could relish in the comfort of one another.

"Sam?" John whispered, forgetting that Sam had just almost died and now glad that Sam had learnt to swim. "You did it. Excellent job boy." He stated. Astonished that from all the recent events. Sam had made it out of there.

"Keep… him away… from… me." Sam ordered in between his gulps of air. He had a tight hold on Dean's shirt, which was becoming soaked fast. But neither brother cared, neither brother let go in fear of losing each other again.

"I will Sammy. You're safe now. Dad's not coming anywhere near you. Not for a while." Dean whispered, brushing his hand through Sam's hair and keeping the other one against Sam's heart. He didn't need to feel for Sam's breathing, sadly he could hear it to know that Sam was alive.

"What? He's my son Dean." John tried arguing.

"You almost got him killed." Dean snapped angrily before his kind eyes returned and he looked back at Sam. John was shocked with how easy Dean could be angry with one person and have everything change as soon as he glanced at Sam.

"Get me… off… this thing." Sam ordered, trying to stand but the lack of oxygen almost sent him back into the water if Dean hadn't kept hold.

"Easy Sammy. Just let me do all the work okay?" Dean whispered, placing one hand around Sam's shoulders and the other underneath his knees as Dean lifted Sam up and carried him. Sam's head resting on Dean's shoulder but close enough, so Dean could feel Sam's relaxing breath on his neck. "We're gonna get you warm, breathing normally, rested and on your feet. Then me and you are going to Bobby's for a while." Dean whispered to Sam, just so John couldn't hear. If John knew that Dean was planning on taking himself and Sam away, he would chain them both to the floor and convince them to stay. But Dean didn't want to be in the place where his Dad just almost killed his little brother.

"Okay." Sam whispered in response.

* * *

John had driven away. After the hurtful words Dean shouted at him whilst Sam had been sleeping, John had grabbed the keys to his truck and driven away. Which made Dean remember his own keys, in which he went outside and collected his belongings before returning inside again. This was their chance to leave. But Dean needed to make sure Sam was up for it, knowing that his little brother could sleep in the car, Dean had to wake him up.

"Sammy?" Dean whispered, shaking Sam lightly, earning a groggy but awake little brother.

"Hey Dean." Sam whispered tiredly. His muscles hurt like hell and he just wanted to sleep. "What's wrong?" he asked, his tone quiet and tired.

"There's a lot wrong right now Sammy. Which is why we gotta go to Bobby's for a while. Just until things settle down with Dad." Dean informed.

"No." Sam told.

"What?" Dean asked, shocked. He couldn't believe that Sam really wanted to stay here with their Dad, after what John did.

"I'll go alone later, when I'm rested. I can't take you away from Dad. I can't make you choose. I won't. It's just… I can't be here when he gets back. I don't wanna be." Sam responded, Dean finally understood what Sam meant. That stupid little bitch.

"You are so selfless Sammy. And that's why I love you little brother. But you're not going alone, and I am not staying here with the man that almost killed you. People that hurt you get their lungs ripped out of their chest. But being that the one that hurt you was our own Dad, I'm just gonna need to settle for leaving and not coming back. So, I'm taking you and we're gonna go to Bobby's, I'll explain to him when we're on the road. I'm sure he'll be happy to see us." Dean exclaimed, kneeling beside the bed so he could face Sam without having to look down, or Sam having to strain his neck and look up.

"You'd leave Dad… for me?" Sam asked, shocked that he was hearing it. Dean looked towards Sam's confused eyes and swore that Sam looked like he was two-years-old all over again.

"In a heartbeat." Was all Dean responded with, he couldn't respond with anything else because it was the truth. No matter what happened Dean would always pick Sam over their Dad.

"Thank you." Sam whispered, moving his aching arm and placing it on Dean's hand, which was resting on the bed. Sam's face was scrunched up at the movement, but soon set back to rest as Sam fell asleep.

"You're welcome you friggin' girl." Dean chuckled, rolling his eyes at Sam's girly movement to try and hold his hand. Even through Dean himself didn't move his hand away.

* * *

"Dean? What're ya calling me for boy?" Bobby's voice asked through the phone.

"I was gonna call you on the road but it looks like we've got a change of plans." Dean began, noticing how Sam's face turned to pain as soon as he tried moving. His muscles would be hurting from the over-workout. And he still looked tired, but at least he was sitting up right now.

"What's going on?" Bobby soon became concerned.

"Can Sam and I stay with you for a while? I'll explain in more detail the reasoning why when we get there. But we just can't stay with Dad right now, Sam can't be around Dad right now and I can't even look at the man without wanting to shoot his fucking head off-…" Dean's ranting was interrupted.

"Calm down Dean. Of course, ya can come stay with me. You two don't even need to ask, stay as long as you like. And depending on what's going on, I'll make sure to hide ya from John." Bobby grew worried at the safety of the two boys he'd grown to call his own. It sounded like John had hurt Sam in some way, but Bobby knew not to ask questions until Dean got there.

"Thank you, Bobby. We'll be there in a few hours. Please, keep this a secret from John. He can't know where we are. Not yet." Dean sighed the last part, looking towards Sam who was now standing and walking. A small smile grew on Dean's face at the strength of his little brother. Who was now packing his duffle bag. "I've gotta go, we need to pack and hall ass before Dad gets back. Thanks Bobby." Dean thanked before hanging up the phone.

"When are we leaving?" Sam asked. Dean in return walked towards Sam with two painkillers in his hand, giving them to Sam with a bottle of water. Who immediately took to the pills like they were candy.

"As soon as we're packed." Dean promised, Sam turned around and hugged Dean tightly before Dean could resist. Not that Dean would resist, but he wouldn't tell Sam that. Dean hugged Sam back in return, both ready to leave John for a while, both ready to wait until things were settled before contacting him again.

* * *

It had been a few hours after Dean's call, when Bobby heard the distantly familiar rumble of the Impala's engine. He walked outside and watched as they parked the Impala behind a group of other cars, making sure it was well hidden. Dean wasn't kidding, these boys were really planning on staying hidden from John for a while.

Dean was the first to exit the car, he opened the trunk and got out his and Sam's duffle, meanwhile Sam had exited and walked towards Dean. "I can carry my own bags." Sam stated with a sigh.

"Not until you're fully rested Sam." Dean informed. Bobby barely heard what they were saying, but was able to still listen in carefully. Years of being a hidden Hunter could do that to an old man's ears.

"I slept the entire car drive here." Sam commented with a little bit of argument.

"And you're still exhausted, Sammy you almost drowned." Bobby's eyes widened at this statement. Was this why they were coming to see him? But what would John have to do with Sam almost drowning? Bobby needed answers, and he needed them now. "Just… please man give me this. Let me take care of you for a few days then you can go back to be an independent bitch." Dean finished with a pleading tone.

"Fine, but you're still always gonna be a jerk." Sam grumbled back, Bobby would've laughed at Sam's pout if the situation didn't sound so serious. "Hey Bobby." Sam smiled lightly, he carefully walked towards Bobby and gave the man a hug.

"Hey kiddo. Hell, last I saw you, you were tiny." Bobby commented.

"Yeah, last you saw me I think I was around six or seven." Sam laughed playfully before yawning. "Mind if I just head straight to bed?" Sam asked.

"Sure thing Sam. I gotta talk with your brother anyways." Bobby smiled in response, allowing Sam to walk past him and head off inside. Bobby turned back to face Dean. "Leave them in the living room for now and come in the kitchen, I'll get some whisky. You look like you need it." Bobby knew Dean was underage, but he was in no position to be a hypocrite, not now anyways.

"Thanks." Dean whispered gloomily, dropping the bags in the living room and following Bobby into the kitchen.

"Wanna explain what happened?" Bobby asked, getting out a half empty bottle of whisky and sliding it across the table to Dean. He grabbed out two cups, but somehow knew neither of them would need the cups.

"Where do I start?" Dean asked, sitting out and taking a large swig from the bottle before placing his head in his hands.

"From the beginning. That usually helps." Bobby knew it wasn't time to joke, not if Dean was this distressed.

"We decided to rent a cabin for a while. We just did a werewolf hunt that left us all a bit shaken. So, Dad decided to give us all a bit of R&R. Anyway, Sam didn't know how to swim, so I promised that I would teach him while we were at the lake cabin. It was better than Dad teaching him because Dad teaching someone how to swim means pushing them into the water and letting them fend for themselves." Bobby's eyes widened at this, he had no clue that John would put Dean through something like that. But from what was happening, Bobby placed the pieces together and guessed what would come next. Resulting in him filling up a glass with whisky and gulping it all down.

"I decided to go to town for groceries and dinner. I figured everything would be fine. It never occurred to me that Sam would be in danger. If I had known I swear I wouldn't have left." Dean sounded like he was trying to defend himself, like Bobby was accusing Dean of all this being his fault.

"it's okay Dean." Bobby reassured. "I know you wouldn't have left Sam alone if you knew something was there to hurt him."

Dean nodded in response. "I just got back, I got out of the Impala and grabbed the shopping when I noticed something moving on the jetty-…" Dean cut himself off. Tears pooling back in his eyes as he took another swig of the alcohol. "God Bobby. Dad pushed him in." Dean murmured. By this point Bobby wasn't surprised, having put the puzzle pieces together himself and having figured it out. Now it was just a point of listening.

"When Dad taught me how to swim, he did the same thing. Pushed me in, but I cheated my way into learning Bobby. Dad didn't know that he pushed me into a shallow part of the lake we were in. I had my feet touching the ground the entire time I taught myself. Sam though… Sam didn't."

"God, I could see him struggling. I ran towards the edge of the jetty, but Dad grabbed hold of me and I couldn't move. I was just watching him, and I couldn't stop him from drowning. He was fighting hard, I'm so damn proud of him for fighting that hard. He used to much of his energy, pushed himself to far."

Bobby had been silent throughout the explanation, he didn't know what he was supposed to say, all that could be said was words against John. He didn't almost kill one of his boys, but he tortured the other by making him watch was the youngest almost drowned.

"Then Sam just stopped fighting altogether. He let the damn lake have him and he just stopped." Dean whispered, taking another swig.

"Oh hell." Bobby murmured. Filling up his own glass and gulping it down once more.

"I don't remember ever feeling so useless, so angry, so hurt… God I almost lost him. I tried getting to him again, hoping that maybe if I pulled him out in time he'd be okay. But Dad kept hold of me. Said he already lost one and he wasn't gonna lose me. Bobby, I swear, if Sam had died he would've lost me anyway. I wouldn't have stopped until I joined Sam again." Dean let the tears fall from his eyes, but he refused to sob. He was just crying.

Bobby knew that would happen. He knew that if Sam ever died, Dean would either find a way to bring the kid back, or join him in the afterlife. Either way those two boys were a package deal. Together forever.

"Dad wouldn't let me go. Then, by some goddamn miracle Sam started fighting again. He must've grabbed onto the pillar of the jetty or something and used it to pull himself up cause his hand came up and he grabbed onto the edge of the jetty. I helped him the rest of the way and pulled him back. Dad and I had an argument after I bought Sam back inside, warmed him and got him to sleep. Then Dad left somewhere, and I called you." Dean finished.

"Holy hell." Bobby murmured. Not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah. That about sums it up." Dean sighed, taking another gulp of the whisky. They just sat like that for a while, thinking about everything that had happened. Dean thinking about the past events and Bobby thinking about what he had just been told.

"I wanna kill him Bobby. I don't want Dad near Sammy ever again." Dean growled.

"You two can stay as long as you like. And for as long as you're under my roof, John won't know you're here. He won't take you two away." Bobby promised.

"Thanks." Dean whispered.

"You should get some rest. I'll have breakfast made in the morning then you and Sam could probably help around the house if you want. Might be good to have some company for once." Bobby smiled. Dean returned the smile with his own grateful one before standing up.

"Thanks… again." He murmured before turning and walking into the living room, he grabbed his and Sam's bags before walking up the stairs.

"Anytime son… anytime." Bobby murmured.


	10. 10 - Human

**Chapter 10 - Human**

 **.Pre-Series.**

Sam = 15

Dean =18

 _Sam's facing a much greater monster then anything the Winchester's have faced before. This monster kills from the inside, it's the bringer of silence, the bringer of self-destruction, and the bringer of death. Sam is facing depression, and he hides it in the form of a smile. Until he can't hide it anymore._

 _{The idea is from the song Human by Christina Perri.}_

* * *

I can hold my breathe.

I can bite my tongue.

I can stay awake for days if that's what you want,

Be your number one.

Sam looked in the mirror, hating what he saw. He saw a good-for-nothing waste of space, someone who was so focused on books and school that he couldn't at least try to be like his older brother, because he so desperately wanted to be like his older brother.

Dean Winchester was the definition of perfection in Sam's eyes.

Dean Winchester never got lectured or yelled at by their father.

Dean Winchester fought monsters, and he always won.

Dean Winchester was clearly not Sam.

However, no one knew that Sam was sad. If that's what you could call it, Sam never called it sad. He never knew what to call it. He refused to believe it was depression, because that was something that just didn't occur with the Winchester's, depression was too girly to be Winchester.

Sam often cried at night, when everything was silent, and he was sitting in the bathroom alone. He held a razor in his hands and sliced at the body that he hated so much. He hated it because it just wasn't good enough.

His heart broke when he entered the bathroom every night, his silent tears and silent screams never went noticed by anyone but him. However, when he exited the bathroom, it was met with emotionlessness, or smiles, whatever strength he could muster up alongside his fake, yet flawed courage. Whichever seemed best at the time.

He held his breathe, bit his tongue, made sure to not show anyone how he truly felt. Because no one could help him anyway. Maybe they could before he got this far, but he'd gone past the point of no return. He'd gone way past.

Sam wished that everything was different, wished that he just didn't feel like this anymore. He wanted to breathe for the first time and not feel like the world was holding him down.

Dean and his Dad expected so much from him, expected too much.

Awaken.

Eat.

Train.

School.

Research.

Train.

Eat.

Research.

Shower.

Bed.

However, smile. Breathe. Stand up straight, don't slouch. Eat greasy foods, or whatever they put in front of him.

Don't be a waste.

Don't care about school. The only reason he goes is so social services don't bust their asses.

Don't argue.

Don't question.

Don't speak unless spoken too.

Don't rebel.

Do as you're told.

Be the perfect soldier.

Be just like your brother.

Be just like your father.

Never get in the way.

Never fail.

Never hold them back.

Never be Sam.

It was enough to make him want to scream, but he never did. Not out loud. He just bottled it up and continued to bottle it up until the nights he was in the bathroom, the rare night when his brother and father were dead asleep and wouldn't care less if he cried alone in the bathroom.

* * *

I can fake a smile.

I can force a laugh.

I can dance and play the part,

If that's what you ask.

Give you all I am.

"Sam!" Dean screamed, banging on the bathroom door, he really needed to piss, and Sam had been in there since Dean woke up. Granted, he didn't wake up that long ago, but that wasn't the point. The shower was turned on, so clearly Sam was busy, but that didn't mean he had to lock the bathroom door.

The shower switched off, and after a small while Sam walked out. Only questioning difference was that Sam's hair was completely dry, like it had never been wet in the first place. He clearly hadn't been in the shower like Dean thought, but stupidly never spoke up about it.

Maybe things would be different if Dean had spoken up about it.

Maybe Sam would've opened up to Dean.

Maybe he would've gotten better.

Maybe he would've snapped, and Dean would be forced to get the truth.

Maybe the truth wouldn't come out at all.

Maybe… there was always a maybe.

However, now, they would never know. Because Dean never questioned.

"Sorry." Sam whispered, forcing his signature smile that clearly didn't reach his eyes. Clearly, Dean didn't notice. Although if he did, he stupidly didn't say anything about it.

"You took forever, too busy washing your hair with that girly shampoo and conditioner you love so much." Dean joked, it always seemed to be a joke to him. It was always meant to be nothing but brotherly banter. It always seemed to be many things. However, it was never anything but hatred and insecurities in Sam's ears.

Come on Sammy, be better.

Come on Sammy, look better.

Come on Sammy, focus.

Come on Sammy, do as you're told for once.

Come on Sammy, shut up.

Come on Sammy, stop being so selfish.

Come on Sammy, stop being such a hormonal teenager.

Come on Sammy, stop.

Thousands of words, thousands of insecurities floating through Sam's head until he broke in the bathroom, removed them all, and gained them back when he exited into the real world.

Sam laughed, it was forced and awkward. It made Dean look at him with confusion, Dean clearly knew the laugh was forced, clearly knew that something was wrong. He wanted to bring it up, he promised himself he'd take care of Sam, but he couldn't bring himself to speak up. Couldn't bring himself to ask Sam why he was forcing his laughs. Dean left it alone, and he stupidly said nothing.

"Yeah, I was. Gotta problem." It was banter, and banter was something Dean could work with, though Sam's heart wasn't in the banter. It just added to another thing that was forced. Something that didn't belong. Dean had to take some time, had to think about it more, he had to know what was wrong. Yet, stupidly said nothing, only gave his own forced smile before entering the bathroom once his bladder screamed at him to use the toilet.

Sam got himself prepared and ready for school, looking down at the homework he should've done last night, instead he researched, trained, ate and locked himself in the bathroom. Homework was the first thing on his mind, but the last thing on his list. There was just too much, and school was lowered in his priority list. Because his family didn't care for it.

They didn't care for his grades.

They didn't care for his future.

They didn't care for his happiness.

They didn't care for his light.

They didn't care for his innocence.

They didn't care for him.

"Ready?" Dean asked, walking out of the bathroom and facing his younger brother, who was currently seated on his bed, staring blankly at nothing with his bag on the ground in between his legs.

"Huh?" Sam murmured, snapping out of his subconscious mind and thinking back through his thoughts to see if he caught what Dean had said. "Oh… yeah…" he really didn't want to leave, he just wanted to curl up in the motel bed and sleep. Well, he'd prefer to curl up in the Impala, which acted as a home to him. He had never known of anything else.

Be that as it may, he had to try, he had to prove that he was okay, that he was fine. However, no one really asked how he felt. No one really cared. He gave himself to proving that everything was okay, that he was okay. He gave himself to prove his strength for others around him, but he saved no strength for himself, and he was running out of strength.

* * *

I can do it.

I can do it.

I can do it.

They arrived at the school, Sam looked out the window at all the smiling students. Dean looked at the broken expression on Sam's face. Said broken expression took a moment and morphed into one of clear bravery and happiness. Dean's heart sank, his stomach tied into knots. He knew what this was, but his cowardice made him say nothing.

"Seeya after school." Sam waved goodbye, he unbuckled his seatbelt and exited the vehicle, bag in possession. As soon as his back turned to Dean, his happy expression changed back.

Broken.

Lost.

Angry.

Sad.

Panicked.

His expression held many emotions, but it could only be explained into one word.

Depression.

"Come on Sam." He whispered to himself, unknown to him. Dean took a while to exit his car, his eyes trained on his little brother the entire time as he watched the hunched shoulders and anxious movement.

"Come on Sam." Dean whispered, he wanted Sam to say something. He wanted Sam to bring up the conversation that Dean had been too afraid to begin.

He should've known that Sam wouldn't say anything.

He should've known that Sam was far to strong for that, even on his weakest days. Sam was the strongest person Dean knew.

Because he was Dean's little brother.

Because he was feeling something deep down that made him fall.

Because he was broken to the world.

Because he still smiled.

Because he still felt weak.

Because he survived.

Dean's little brother, despite it all. Had survived. Even if neither saw it just yet.

"Come on Sam." Sam repeated to himself, his own little mantra as he continued to take hesitated steps towards the school.

"I can do it." He promised himself, an empty promise that he felt he could never keep.

"I can do it." He repeated, stronger this time. He slowly began to fight the broken feeling and bring his head up, he had to be strong, had to show that he was okay.

"I can do it." He growled finally, placing on a smile that clearly didn't belong on a face that held so much sadness.

The day went on, like many other days. It dragged and wavered, and soon it became too much.

* * *

But I'm only human.

And I bleed when I fall down.

I'm only human.

And I crash and I break down.

Your words in my head, knives in my heart.

You build me up and then I fall apart.

'Cause I'm only human.

It wasn't bullying, but then again it isn't always bullying that's the problem. It was something inside him.

Something dark.

Something big.

Something scary.

Something monstrous.

Something that just wouldn't let go.

Something with the name of Depression.

Sam asked for a leave pass during his fourth lesson when it all became too much. The sound of everyone's laughter made it feel like they were laughing at him. The sound of conversation, people talking about their little problems made Sam angry. The way everyone thought the world revolved around them, the selfishness of the students in his class made him furious. The way they never included him in conversation made him feel like he didn't belong.

Sam ran out of class, bolted towards the men's bathroom and locked the door behind him. He crashed onto the ground, his breathing rough and heavy as tears pooled into his eyes. He cried.

He cried because he felt unworthy.

He cried because he felt useless.

He cried because he felt unheard.

He cried because he felt unwanted.

He cried because he felt unloved.

He cried because he felt stupid.

He cried because he felt idiotic.

He cried because he felt unhappy.

He cried because he felt trapped.

He cried because he felt depressed.

Sam Winchester knew the true meaning of depression. It was staring right at him, cutting off his viewpoint to anything else. The darkness seeped itself into his heart and corrupted his mind and soul until there was nothing but black.

The words swimming through his mind, torturous words, thousands of words that he could've used to describe himself. And none of them were positive.

He was bleeding, and the blood wouldn't stop.

He was falling, and he couldn't get back up.

He was crashing, and nothing broke the pain.

He was breaking, and no one was there to save him.

It all felt like there were knives stabbing into him, tearing him apart at the seams. Nothing was going to heal him, he felt broken beyond repair.

Sam spent the rest of the day hidden away in one of the stalls of the bathroom, no one knew he was there because every time someone walked in he'd force himself to be silent. However, it got harder as the day wore on.

It was during lunch when he really broke down. He heard the door open and held back the tears, it was silent until he heard familiar laughter. Dean, he was talking to someone, laughing.

He wanted to release his tears.

He wanted Dean to hear him.

He wanted to call out for his big brother.

He wanted everything to be okay.

He wanted too much.

Dean's laughter, Dean's happiness spiked something within Sam. He went back to how perfect Dean was, and how imperfect Sam had become. Everyone loved Dean, everyone was willing to talk to Dean. No one liked Sam, everyone just left him alone. Sam didn't mind, it meant there were less people he had to be fake around. But, he wanted someone to talk to.

Dean had left before Sam could say anything. The bathroom was empty again and Sam burst back out into tears.

It was during lunch, the same as before, when he reached into his pocket and found his knife. Sam sat in one of the bathroom stalls and sliced into his wrist. One, two, three, four times.

He'd lost count by the time lunch was over. He never cut deep enough to cause too much blood loss, however always cut deep enough to show there was damage. He didn't want to die, nowhere in this scenario did Sam want to die. He just wanted the pain to be gone.

After hours of crying, of hiding from the laughter and cheery attitude of students. The bell finally rang. Sam composed himself, it took a lot longer then usual. The blood had been cleaned, the knife put away.

He exited the bathroom and washed his face, waiting until his boring eyes lost their puffiness and his face went back to their usual ugly pale. He looked at himself within the mirror, hating what he saw. He put a hideous smile upon his face, letting the world know he was okay. Even if it were only on the outside.

Sam stood straight, and finally, half an hour after the bell rang. Sam exited the bathroom and walked casually outside.

He knew he left Dean waiting, but for some reason. He couldn't care, there was too much on Sam's mind to worry about letting poor perfect Dean wait in the car for an extra half an hour. Poor precious.

Dean made Sam angry.

Dean made Sam jealous.

Dean made Sam envious.

Dean made Sam depressed.

Dean made Sam suicidal.

* * *

I can turn it on.

Be a good machine.

I can hold the weight of worlds.

If that's what you need.

Be your everything.

"Where were you?!" Dean barked as soon as Sam exited the school building.

"In the bathroom." Sam replied hesitantly, Dean looked angry. Sam barked out a humourless and ugly cackle within his mind. Dean had no right, NO RIGHT, to be angry.

"For half an hour! You could have called or answered your fucking phone. But no, you decided to let me sit out here and worry about your stupid ass!" Dean yelled angry, he walked around the car and opened the drivers side, prepared to enter.

Sam felt the physical flinch those words gave him. He knew he was stupid, he didn't need Dean… perfect… fucking Dean… reminding him every fucking hour.

"I never asked you to wait." Sam grumbled.

"Of course, I'd wait! I'm not gonna leave you here!" Dean snapped angrily.

Something was wrong with his little brother, incredibly wrong. But he was just too angry to say anything, too angry to speak up and start the conversation he'd been meaning to have with Sam for a long time now. He'd been to idiotic and too stupid to see just how broken Sam was.

"I have too feet and a heartbeat Dean, I'm not some invalid! I could've walked!" Sam growled, he didn't know where the anger came from, he was just sick of everyone thinking and assuming that he was okay, assuming that he could stand strong while people yelled insults at him, while he yelled insults at himself. He was sick and tired of people assuming that Sam wouldn't break, that he was fucking indestructible. Sam wanted someone to see him. HIM. Not the fucking armour he put up, not the fucking second face he masks over his own to make people believe he's fine.

BECAUSE HE'S NOT FUCKING OKAY!

He's not okay.

He's not fine.

He's not happy.

He's not normal.

He's not perfect.

He's just Sam fucking Winchester and he's ready to fucking die.

The thought alone shocked Sam, never in his life had he thought about suicide. Not until recently of course, he knew Dean would be a mess, their Dad probably would be too. But they'd get over him, they'd continue hunting the demon and Sam would just become a mere memory that they'd never talk about, never acknowledge.

"You wanna walk home?" Dean snapped. "Fine! Don't wait up!" Dean barked, he got in the car and sped away from the school.

Sam watched Dean leave, his heart beating in his chest. He knew Dean wouldn't be at the motel. He knew he just pushed away the one person that could've saved him. He knew he was totally fucked.

But this had been his plan all along hadn't it, he got some time to go to the motel, to get something, anything to finish the job. He wouldn't do it at the motel, he couldn't. He couldn't leave his body for Dean or his Dad to find. He had a plan in mind, he just hoped it work.

* * *

I can do it.

I can do it.

I'll get through it.

On his way home, Sam had a song in mind. He had heard it a while ago, some chick from school had been playing it to show the class. He related to it, the song had been girly and stupid, but he related to everything the song said. All the lyrics shouted to him, telling him that this is what he had been feeling all this time.

He wanted to leave a final note, a final goodbye. It wasn't like Sam could just write something, he had been raised by John and Dean Winchester, and none of the Winchester boys were good with words. The song would have to do, would have to tell them his final goodbye in words that only a song could portray.

He reached home, threw his bag on the bed and logged onto the computer. He researched the lyrics to the song and left them on screen, he grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and wrote two lines from the song, deeming them fit for a final goodbye.

Sam got to his feet and walked out the motel room. The lake, it'd be the perfect place. He could just let his body sink, there were less painful ways. But Sam didn't want less painful, he wanted something that would just make him disappear, drowning and letting his body rot in a lake seemed the best way to go.

Sam blanked out completely from that, he heard his phone going off and chose to ignore it. There was nothing that needed to be said, he couldn't listen to Dean, or his Dad. Not right now, not with these thoughts swarming his mind.

Sam couldn't be fake right now, he couldn't muster up the courage to walk away and just continue being strong. He didn't want to, not when he had let himself become so weak.

Don't mistake this for anything else, Sam Winchester did not want to die. But he'd figured, that was the same with every depressed person, no one really wanted to die, he just wanted the pain to be gone.

Sam Winchester wanted to be gone.

"I can do it." He whispered once he reached the jetty.

"I can do it." He repeated, now standing on the edge and looking down to the calm waters as they awaited their victim.

"I'll get through it." He smiled to himself, it was a sick smile, one that had no humour. One that wasn't forced. However, this smile promised peace. That's what made it so sick.

* * *

But I'm only human.

And I bleed when I fall down.

I'm only human.

And I crash and I break down.

Your words in my head, knives in my heart.

You build me up and then I fall apart.

'Cause I'm only human.

Everything crashed from there, the emotions piling one on top of the other until Sam burst out screaming. He screamed out loudly over and over until his voice was hoarse, then he screamed some more. He was bleeding, he was falling, crashing, breaking.

Every word, every hurt, every moment all coming back at him and being released through his screams. Every insult, every thought, every torturous word that layered upon the thousands all exiting through his screams. The knives that had spent so long lodged within his heart were coming out, he was becoming free after so long of being trapped behind the bars of depression.

Sam Winchester had fallen apart.

It was only when the screams had stopped that he had looked out to the trees opposite the lake, and he just breathed. This would be it, it would be all over from here.

Sam Winchester had never felt so calm.

Sam Winchester had never felt so peaceful.

Sam Winchester had never felt so free.

Sam Winchester had never felt so happy.

Sam Winchester had never felt so suicidal.

Sam Winchester… the brains of the family, the one holding them all together. The one that was strong enough to survive… opened his arms out wide, took a deep breath and let himself fall into the awaiting waters.

However, it had been only minutes since Sam left the door of the motel and made his way to the lake, that the Impala parked in front of it.

* * *

I'm only human.

I'm only human.

Just a little human.

Dean Winchester sat in the Impala, parked at the motel. He couldn't go in, couldn't bring himself to move. Unknown to Sam's departure, if he had known maybe he would've made it in time to stop Sam from falling.

In every sense of the fucking word.

He looked up at his motel room, the one he shared with Sam, the boy probably inside doing homework or reading something. It pissed Dean off how easily Sam could brush things off. Sam was unbreakable in Dean's eyes and it pissed him off.

He was envious.

DEAN was jealous of SAM.

But then again, Sam hadn't been so unbreakable lately, there was something wrong. Dean just didn't know what it was, and he couldn't bring himself to walk the very few steps to the motel and demand answers. He couldn't start that kind of conversation.

Maybe if he had the same strength as Sam, they wouldn't be in this situation.

"Damnit Sammy, what do I do?" Dean whispered fearfully, he knew that as soon as he walked into the motel, he had to start the conversation. He had to do something because he couldn't let them sit around anymore, he refused to allow Sam to continue looking so broken.

"I'm only human." Dean whispered, he looked down at himself. He spread his hands out and looked at them, these hands had done so much.

They had killed monsters to protect his brother.

They had wrestled his brother.

They had drunk with his brother.

They had tucked his brother in.

They had dressed his brother.

They had bathed his brother.

They had fed his brother.

They had clothed his brother.

But not once had they reassured his little brother that it would all get better.

Not once had they been used to reassure Sam, to tell Sam that Dean loved him. Because Dean always thought actions spoke louder then words, it's why he loved action in every sense of the word, he didn't need to engage in chick flicks if he just lightly gave Sam a pet on the head.

But Dean often forgot that Sam wasn't like him, Sam was different. Sam needed that verbal reassurance.

Sam needed Dean.

And where was Dean, sitting in a fucking Impala staring at his hands.

"I'M ONLY HUMAN!" Dean screamed out, smacking one hand onto the steering wheel, his burst of anger. How else was he supposed to show how he felt other than through anger? He didn't know, he hadn't been taught past the age of four.

With a plan in mind and courage finally intact, Dean got out of the Impala and walked up to the motel.

"Just a little human…" he whispered once more, opening the motel room door and walking inside.

Maybe Sam could teach him how to be fully human.

* * *

I can take so much.

'Til I've had enough.

Dean met an empty room, it wouldn't surprise him if Sam's stuff hadn't been there. He would've figured the kid was just taking longer then necessary. But Sam's stuff was there, meaning he came back. However, Sam was gone, meaning for some unknown reason, he left again.

Confused, and slightly scared, Dean wrapped a hand around his stomach as it did backflips telling him that something was really wrong with his little brother. He saw the laptop, a google page open to a website that looked like lyrics.

Dean walked over to the computer and sat down, reading the title of the song.

"What the hell Sam?" Dean chuckled to himself, he'd so give Sam shit for this later. However, Dean being the curious hunter he was, read through the song. His emotions shifting quickly as he read along.

Jokester.

Confused.

Concerned.

Sad.

Worried.

Understood.

Frightened.

Panicked.

Horrified.

Realisation.

By the time he finished reading, his heart was pounding. He was breathing heavily, and he was calling out Sam's name. Dean looked around the room, for any sign that Sam had taken anything with him, wherever he went. Or any sign that would tell Dean where he went.

Dean slammed the lid of the laptop close, not wanting to look at the lyrics. A sticky note captured Dean's eyes, he peeled it from the lid and read the words.

' _I can take so much, til I've had enough.' – Sam._

It was clear that this was Sam's handwriting.

It was clear that his little brothers mind wasn't in the right place.

It was clear that Dean had to set said little brother straight.

It was clear that Dean had taken too long to speak above the silence.

It was clear that Dean had taken too long to realise it.

Dean took out his phone and stood from the chair, he rushed around the room to find the weapons bag and the first aid kit. He needed to know if Sam had taken anything with him.

' _This is Sam… leave a message.'_

Fuck, even his voicemail sounded broken beyond repair, it had taken Dean too long to speak to his little brother.

"Sammy, this is Dean. Where are you, kiddo? Answer your phone okay. We gotta talk." Dean pleaded, he tried to not give anything away. He had no clue what Sam's reaction would be if the boy knew that Dean figured it out.

Fuck it. He had taken too long to speak up before and Sam was paying the price. Sam was falling into a pit of black and darkness that called itself depression. Dean called again, a new tactic in mind.

' _This is Sam… leave a message.'_

It would help a lot if the kid answered his stupid phone.

"Sammy. I know. I know everything and whatever your thinking right now isn't the way to go. Answer your phone okay, or call me back. Fuck, text me if you want to. Just tell me where you are and we can talk, you can tell me everything you haven't been able to say. Speak to me little brother, your head's not in the right place and I'm terrified that you're gonna do something you can't take back. Please Sammy, I know." Dean finished before hanging up.

He was hoping that Sam was at least listening to his messages. He was hoping to whatever God cared that Sam was still fucking alive enough to listen.

After checking around the motel room, he concluded that nothing had been taken. Dean figured maybe he had it all wrong, until he tried to call Sam again. Until he got Sam's new voicemail.

' _This line has been disconnected-'_

That's all Dean needed to hear to know that something was wrong.

That's all Dean needed to hear to know that Sam's phone had been destroyed.

That's all Dean needed to hear to know for sure, that Sam was in trouble.

But this wasn't just any monster trying to kill his little brother. This was Dean's little brother trying to kill himself. Sam will be damn mistaking if he thought Dean would let his little brother go at the hands of depression without a fight.

It took a few minutes, -a few minutes too many- for Dean to realise where Sam had gone. A previous conversation pooling within his mind.

" _If I were to die… I think I'd prefer drowning."_

Those were Sam's words, and they should've been enough for Dean to realise that something was really fucking wrong with the kid he practically raised. He should've pulled Sam aside and said something, but no, Dean just laughed and mentioned that he'd prefer to die on a hunt.

With the new knowledge in mind. Dean ran out of the motel and bolted down the street to his new set destination. He just fucking hoped to get there in time.

* * *

'Cause I'm only human.

And I bleed when I fall down.

I'm only human.

And I crash and I break down.

Your words in my head, knives in my heart.

You build me up and then I fall apart.

'Cause I'm only human.

He was floating, his chest hurting but keeping his breath in until the very last moment where he'd involuntarily let it out and breathe in the lake water that surrounded him. All thoughts were gone from his mind, other than Dean of course.

Anyway…

Sam was floating…

His arms were floating above his body as he sunk further down. His legs both in the same vertical position as his arms. His eyes closed and his hair floating lightly around his face. It tickled slightly.

And the innocent thought of something tickling him… the innocent thought in such a suicidal mindset made Sam smile a bit, it wasn't humourless, it wasn't sick… it was genuine. And it felt good.

Sam's body seized, lack of oxygen making his body fight alongside the need to breathe. Sam's eyes scrunched together as he seized again. Sam opened his mouth and released the air he held in, buying himself a few more seconds of life before death took over.

Sam relaxed a little more, and finally… he breathed in, the water filling his lungs and at the same time, alongside the burning sensation, he swore he felt an arm wrap around his middle, he felt himself being pulled along. But for some miraculous reason, Sam couldn't open his eyes.

He felt his chest collide into something, he felt as if he were being pulled up. Something clicked, and Sam knew what was happening. By the time he could try and fight it, they breached surface.

However, Sam couldn't fight it. He couldn't move. He'd smile in realisation, he'd smile at the fact that he won. He won against whoever tried to save him. But he couldn't, because he couldn't even manage a smile.

He heard his attempted saviour take a deep breathe in as they breached surface. He heard a few coughs from the clear male beside him, the mans arm still around his waist, holding him from sinking when clearly, he couldn't hold himself.

Then he heard it, the strained, the breathless voice calling, begging him.

"Sammy?" Fuck…

' _Dean?'_

"Sammy breathe." Whispered Dean, still managing to swim above the surface and hold his little brother up at the same time.

' _Sorry Dean, you're too little too late big brother.'_

"Sammy? Please." Pleaded Dean, he felt himself being moved again, Dean must be swimming to the shore.

' _No thanks just leave me alone.'_

"Sam!" Screamed Dean, his voice becoming louder as he got more desperate.

' _Fuck off.'_

"Please… Sammy, it'll be okay. You'll be okay I promise. I won't let you go." Reassured Dean.

' _You better fucking let me go. Leave me alone and go be perfect elsewhere.'_

He felt himself depart from the water, sounds were becoming hazy. Sam couldn't feel his body anymore, couldn't think. Sam was disappearing, this would've made Sam grin, if he was still a part of his body.

Dean however wasn't as peaceful, if anything his mind was on overdrive. He pounded compressions on Sam's chest, over his non-beating heart. He breathed air into Sam's breathless mouth. He tried to revive Sam, speaking words of encouragement and reassurance.

"It's okay Sammy. Everything's gonna get better little brother." Dean whispered, continuing CPR.

"Wake up Sammy, breathe little brother, please!" He was getting desperate, it had been too long. He saw the moment Sam took a breath and he wasn't fucking fast enough to stop it or pull Sam out in time.

He continued CPR, getting rougher with the compressions and breathing more into Sam.

"Sammy I'm begging you little brother. Don't leave me, don't leave me alone Sammy." Dean sobbed, tears falling and his breath huffing. He was clearly getting tired.

Running to the lake.

Jumping in and swimming to Sammy.

Lifting his brother to the surface.

Swimming to the shore.

Beginning a rough and desperate version of CPR on his lifeless and pale little brother.

It was starting to toll on Dean, he pleaded, begged, screamed, cried for Sam to be okay. For his little brother to just wake up.

And after a few more compressions, said little brother did.

Everything came back to him as fast as it had left, he shot up, having control of his body again. He coughed up the water he had swallowed. He felt Dean wrap his arms around him as Sam continued to vomit the water he had swallowed, it was going all over Dean now.

He realised that he was alive.

He realised that his plan had failed.

"Shhh."

He realised that Dean was talking to him.

He realised that he was crying.

Somehow, he didn't think he was crying because he didn't die.

Somehow, he knew he was crying because he survived.

"It's alright now. I've got you, you don't have to be strong anymore. I'm here Sammy, I'm here." Dean whispered. The words made Sam cry even more.

Both boys knew that had to have a long conversation, Sam knew he had to start relying on Dean to be there and Dean knew that Sam needed someone to rely on. They needed to have a major chick flick, however right now, in this very moment… they were just content with holding each other close.

And right now, in these very moments… that was enough.

The world still moves on the same, everyone still lives their life no matter how you feel. No one knows your in pain, not until you give them a sign, not until you tell them. No one knows your screaming on the inside, or that your angry that they care more about their petty issues then the fact that your breaking. I'm not going to say that it gets better, I'm just gonna say this.

We're only human.

We can do it.

We'll get through it.

Sure…

We can only take so much until we fall apart.

But that's because…

We're only human.


	11. 11 - Brother Don't Cut

**.Pre-Series.**

Sam = 17

Dean = 21

 _Sam suffers through the torment of school because he loves hunting and suffers through the torment of his father because he loves school. He never gets a break, and then there's Dean, who's trying to hold him together._

 _Inspired by the song "Baby Don't Cut by B-Mike" except instead of 'she / her' it'll be referring to Sam. Instead of 'boyfriend' it'll be referring to Dean. Instead of 'baby' it'll be referring to Sammy. However, there's a twist at the end. NOT A DEATH FIC!_

 _{The idea is from the song Baby Don't Cut by B-Mike}_

* * *

She's only 17, her whole life's ahead of her.

She hates school because the people there discredit her.

Her boyfriend tries to show her that's not how it seems.

But every day she just gets lowered with her self-esteem.

 _He's only 17, his whole life's ahead of him. He loves school, but the people there discredit him. His brother tries to show him that's not how it seems. But everyday he just gets lowered by his self-esteem._

Sam stayed in bed this morning, not finding the motivation to get up and not finding the heart to care. He hadn't a future anyway, he hadn't a _life_ anyway. His future, his life, his mind, his heart, he himself belonged to his father. The John Winchester owned him and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn't want to leave the only family he knew, he didn't see a way out. He was trapped.

Thoughts spun through his mind about what would happen if he did get out of bed, he would be bullied, discredited, humiliated. They wouldn't stop until he screamed for freedom through a razor-sharp blade going deep through his skin.

The pain on the outside seemed to make the pain on the inside leave for a little while, it seemed to make everything stop for a little while. Which is exactly what he wanted, he just wanted everything to stop for a little while. Sometimes he wanted everything to stop permanently. Hell, he's tried before, he just ended up throwing it all back up within ten minutes.

"Hey Sammy! Get outta bed! It's go time kiddo!" Dean shouted, walking into their shared room and ripping the blankets off him. Sam didn't care, he just wanted to be invisible.

' _Maybe if I don't move, he won't see me… Yeah right you moron he's not a fucking velociraptor…'_

"Sam? Up and at 'em, I've got breakfast ready and set. All you gotta do is get outta bed." Dean ordered, he knew Sam had been feeling down lately, he just didn't know how to make it better. Hell, with Sam so sad… Dean had been barely holding on. His patience was wearing thin.

' _Shut up… no, I'm always here… leave me alone… never… when will you stop… when you kill yourself!'_

A voice in the back of his mind, one that never shut its damn mouth. One that just kept talking, sometimes over the top of his own thoughts, so it was the only thing he could hear.

"What's up Sammy?" Dean asked, sitting on the side of the bed. "Are you feeling sick?" he placed the back of his hand against Sam's forehead, the boy didn't move, he just lay there, trapped in his own mind. His eyes open, blinking, but unseeing. "Hey? Sam… It's gonna be okay. Not everything is how it seems. Not everything is as big as you make it out to be. It's okay." Dean reassured, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder, trying to lightly shake some sense into the small, vulnerable kid. He wanted his brother back.

* * *

He lets her know that every night will have a brighter day,

She even tried to overdose and take her life away.

She's feeling hopeless there just sitting down beside her bed,

And then he takes his hand and places it beside her head.

 _He lets him know that…_

"Every night will have a brighter day." Dean whispered, knowing that Sam could hearing him.

 _He even tried to overdose and take his life away. He's feeling hopeless there just sitting down inside his bed. And then Dean takes his hand and places it beside Sam's head._

Sam just wanted the darkest nights and brightest days to go. He wanted his overdose to have worked, but it didn't. He knew he'd try again someday, when it all became too much, and the sky was too grey.

He could feel his brothers love, his brothers worry. He didn't want it, because it made him feel bad that he would be leaving. Sam didn't want to leave Dean behind, he wished he could be selfish enough to ask Dean to come with him. But he never would, that was something he didn't want for Dean. Dean just had to live.

"Come on Sammy." Dean pleaded, tears pooling in his eyes.

' _Please get up… please look at me… please move… please try… please be okay… please Sammy… please'_

Sam began to move, which made Dean smile. However, Dean's smile disappeared when he figured out the reason why Sam was moving.

* * *

He tries to hold her but with every touch she still resists,

And then he sees the scars that bury deep within her wrists,

She's feeling numb, he tries to beg and plead and ask her, "Why?"

She says this way she has control of pain she feels inside.

 _Dean tries to hold him but with every touch Sam still resists. And then Dean sees the scars that bury deep within his wrists. He's feeling numb, he tries to beg and plead and ask him…_

"Why Sam? Why!" The tears were falling from his eyes, he grabbed hold of Sam and forced his little brother into a hug. He felt like a never-ending waterfall, but he didn't care. His little brother was mutilating himself and there was nothing Dean could do about it.

"Please Sammy… talk to me. Please. I love you. I love you. Please." Dean rest his forehead on Sam's, who just sat there numb to the world. Dean just figured it out. Dean found out that Sam wanted to die, clearly Dean must know now. The scars on his wrists probably gave it away. He tried to hide them, but it no longer worked, it was too late.

 _Sam says…_

"This way I have control of pain I feel inside." Sam whispered, he hadn't spoken much since his downward spiral. But the things he had said, Dean knew exactly what they were leading too. He was terrified.

* * *

He's asking her, "How long it's going since you've felt this way?

Because you got me here, just feeling so damn helpless."

She says, "It's been a while. I guess I needed better luck."

And then he screams at her and tells her, "Baby, never cut!"

 _He's asking him…_

"How long has it been since you've felt this way? Because you've got me here, just feeling so damn helpless." Dean questioned, he needed to know what to do. He was so scared that he was going to lose the one thing that gave his life meaning, he was so scared that Sam would never come back to him.

' _You've probably lost him already… no! I haven't… it's probably too late… no! it isn't… you've lost Sam, Sam's gone… no! he's right here'_

 _Sam says…_

"It's been a while, I guess I needed better luck." Sam whispered, Dean was glad that Sam was talking to him about it, but the shit Sam was saying only made Dean's chest hurt more. Holy shit, Dean was going to lose Sam. He was going to lose Sammy. He didn't want this, but he didn't know how to fix it.

 _And then he screams at Sam and tells him…_

"Sammy, never cut!" Dean screams, giving Sam another bone crushing hug. "Every scar you put on your wrist is just another you slash onto my heart. I can't see you like this anymore." Dean sobbed, holding onto Sam who as well, began crying.

* * *

Nobody seems to get you, you feel you're on your own,

But listen, pretty lady, you don't have to be alone.

So, baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.

You can do anything, just promise, baby, yeah.

I know your heart is hurting, you think the road has end,

You may just feel that blade you're holding is your only friend.

But, baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.

You can do anything, just promise, baby, you won't.

Sam soon wrapped his arms around Dean, holding on as tightly as possible. He didn't want to die, not yet. So, if Dean could take his pain away. Maybe it was worth staying around.

"Nobody seems to get you, you feel like you're on your own, but listen, little brother, you don't have to be alone. So, Sammy don't cut, please Sammy, don't cut. You can do anything, just promise, Sammy…" Dean whispered into Sam's hear, Sam was hearing every word. And they all hurt just as bad.

Dean continues… "I know your heart is hurting, you think the road has ended. You may just feel like that blade you're using is your only friend. But Sammy, don't cut. Please man, I'm begging you. You can do anything, just promise, Sammy, you won't." he pleads, needing Sam to promise him.

It took a little longer before a small voice answered.

"Okay… okay… I won't." Sam cried, they both held on.

"How about we stay home today? Eat pizza and watch shitty shows on TV?" Dean asked, pleading for Sam to just stay with him.

"Yeah… yeah okay." Sam smiled, the first real smile in a while.

* * *

The next day at school she's feeling better than the day before.

Even cracked a couple smiles as she walked the corridor.

But all that seemed to end: she dropped her books when she walked into class.

And every student in the room just seemed to point and laugh.

 _The next day at school he's feeling better than the day before. Even cracked a couple smiles as he walked the corridor. But all that seemed to end when he dropped his books as he walked into class. And every student in the room just seemed to point and laugh._

He froze at the doorway, every hurt, every word, every moment just came crashing down and spiralling out of control. He didn't want to face it anymore, he thought now that Dean knew it would all be better, but it wasn't. It still hurt like Hell, and he wanted it over.

* * *

She couldn't take it anymore, she sent her boy a text.

She said, "I love you with my body, heart and soul to death."

He thought nothing, typed, "I love you", then he sent it.

By "death" he didn't know that she had literally just meant it.

 _He couldn't take it anymore, he sent his brother a text. He said…_

 **S – I love you with my body, heart and soul to death.**

 _Dean thought nothing, typed…_

 **D – I love you too.**

 _Then he sent it. By "death" he didn't know that Sam had literally just meant it._

* * *

She ducked the next class, ran home into her bathroom.

Thought to herself she wouldn't break her promise that soon.

Not one cut, not two cuts, not three cuts, it's four

The blood just started dripping from the tub to the floor.

 _He ducked the next class, ran to his motel, into the bathroom. Thought to himself…_

' _I can't break my promise that soon… yes you can… no, Dean… just do it, Dean won't care… no! he loves me… that's what he wants you to think'_

 _Not one cut, not two cuts, not three cuts, it's four. The blood just started dripping from the tub to the floor._

So, he was really doing this. He was really going through with his plan. This was it, he was over. He was at the end of his rope and he didn't want to deal anymore. This was it, he just hoped Dean would forgive him. He closed his eyes and waited for his sweet release from the pain of this world.

* * *

See her boyfriend had a feeling in his stomach that he hated.

He followed it right down to her house he never waited.

The front door was open, he heard the water running.

He stormed into the bathroom and his heart just started gunning.

 _See his brother had a feeling in his stomach that he hated. He followed it right down to the motel, he never waited. The front door was open, he heard the water running. He stormed into the bathroom and his heart just started gunning._

Blood was all he saw, fear was all he felt.

"SAMMY!"

Was all he could think to say…

* * *

'Cause nobody seems to get you, you feel you're on your own,

But listen, pretty lady, you don't have to be alone.

So, baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.

You can do anything, just promise, baby, yeah.

I know your heart is hurting, you think the road has end,

You may just feel that blade you're holding is your only friend.

Baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.

You can do anything, just promise, baby, you won't cut.

Sam could remember Dean's words, clear in his mind. The ones he promised, and suddenly it all seemed fine.

" _Nobody seems to get you, you feel like you're on your own, but listen, little brother, you don't have to be alone. So, Sammy don't cut, please Sammy, don't cut. You can do anything, just promise, Sammy…"_

" _I know your heart is hurting, you think the road has ended. You may just feel like that blade you're using is your only friend. But Sammy, don't cut. Please man, I'm begging you. You can do anything, just promise, Sammy, you won't."_

"I'm sorry Dean…" Sam whispered to his brother who clenched Sam's wrists, crying his eyes out and screaming loudly. "I broke the promise."

* * *

He puts her arm around his shoulder, he's tryna lean her back up.

Yelling out her name as he lays her beside the bathtub.

Feels his whole world just took a hit from a big avalanche.

Screaming out so heavily, "Somebody call an ambulance!"

 _Dean put Sam's arm around his shoulder, he's trying to lean Sam back up. Yelling out Sam's name as he lays him beside the bathtub. Feels his whole world just took a hit from a big avalanche. Screaming out so heavily…_

" **SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE!"**

He couldn't remember much else from the motel room. Other then begging Sam to stay awake and screaming out his brother's name. The look and the smell of his little brothers' blood. He should've known, should've known Sam would still do this. He should've known Sam wasn't ready for the world just yet.

* * *

Feeling mad angry like somebody's led her onto this.

Her eyeballs are rolling, drifting out of consciousness.

Thinking to himself why the hell didn't she stop at will.

The tears just keep on rolling as they head to the hospital.

 _Feeling mad, angry, like somebody's led Sam onto his. His eyeballs are rolling, drifting out of consciousness. Thinking to himself…_

' _Why the hell didn't Sam stop at will… do you really think Sam felt as though he had a choice… he could've come to me!... well he didn't… I know… now it's too late!... no!... he's gone!... no!'_

 _The tears just keep on rolling as they head to the hospital._

He didn't know what else to do other then sit there and hold Sam's bandaged hand. His little brother was dying right before his eyes and once again… he was helpless, he couldn't do anything to take Sam's pain away.

* * *

Paramedics rush her in, doctor calls emergency.

She's lost a lot of blood the place looks like a murder scene,

An hour later, the doc walks over with a sour face,

And says, "Excuse me for the words that I'm about to say.

I'm sorry for your loss," the boy just starts collapsing.

His own world, his own girl just took a crashing.

Saying to himself that it's his fault and that he let it up.

"Baby, I thought you made a promise you would never cut."

 _Paramedics rush Sam in, doctor called emergency. He's lost a lot of blood and the place looks like a murder scene. An hour later, the doc walks over with a sour face. And says…_

"Excuse me for the words I'm about to say… I'm so sorry for your loss"

 _Dean just starts collapsing. His own world, his own brother, just took a crashing. Saying to himself._

"It's my fault, I let it happen…." Dean sobbed loudly, so much pain in his heart. The rest seemed like a blur, he was being led to Sam's ICU room. Where they would show him to his dead brother.

Tears kept falling from his eyes, his heart kept hurting. He was resigned to the fact that he would soon be joining his little brother.

He walked into Sam's room and his world crashed once more, Sam's lifeless and pale body lay unmoving on the bed. It hurt him too much.

"Sammy… Sammy please don't. Don't. Be. Dead." Dean pleaded, holding onto Sam's hand once more. "I'm begging you to come back to me Sammy, everything will be different. We'll leave Dad, we'll quit hunting. I'll do whatever I have to, just please. Come back. Sammy… please. I love you and I always will. I don't care what it takes, I'll come right to Heaven, Hell or Purgatory if I must. Come back to me.

Suddenly, the monitor began beeping, Sam's eyes began fluttering, and Dean's world began getting brighter.

* * *

Nobody seems to get you, you feel you're on your own,

But listen, pretty lady, you don't have to be alone.

So, baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.

You can do anything, just promise.

I know your heart is hurting, you think the road has end,

You may just feel that blade you're holding is your only friend.

But, baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.

You can do anything, just promise, baby, you won't cut.

Please don't cut. Baby don't cut, baby don't cut.

Baby, don't cut.

A few days had gone by, Sam was released from Psychiatric Care and into Dean's care. Dean knows exactly how to take care of his little brother now. Extensive research and Sam's anti-depressive medication were going to help them both. They were seated in the car, driving with their bags packed to their own hunt. Dean couldn't care less about leaving his father, as long as he had Sammy.

He looked over at Sam's bandaged arms, remembering exactly what he had said to Sam the night before the awful incident that they would never speak of again. But he needed Sam to really promise this time.

"Nobody seems to get you, you feel like you're on your own, but listen, little brother, you don't have to be alone. So, Sammy don't cut, please Sammy, don't cut. You can do anything, just promise, Sammy…" He began, Sam's head snapped in Dean's direction, his eyes widened at the statement and the raw pain in Dean's voice. This time, Sam knew he couldn't break the promise.

However, Dean continued… "I know your heart is hurting, you think the road has ended. You may just feel like that blade you're using is your only friend. But Sammy, don't cut. Please man, I'm begging you. You can do anything, just promise, Sammy, you won't." Dean begged, pleaded, anything he had to do. Tears falling from his eyes, he needed this.

"I promise you Dean." Sam promised, his own lonesome tear falling as they exited the town they would never return to again.

* * *

If you are going through shit, I'm right fucking here. Message me, it's okay, I'll respond. I've been though shit myself and I am not going to judge you. Whether you cut or burn, whether you mentally hurt or have physical trauma. I'm right here, I'm here to listen. Please, message me. Because there are people out there who's world will crash if you go. I'm here, it only takes a few clicks and a written sentence or so.

What else is stopping you?


	12. 12 - Unsteady

**Chapter 12 – Unsteady**

 **.Pre-Series.**

Sam = Age 17

Dean = Age 21

 _John takes Sam and Dean on a hunt, however, things go sideways when Sam and Dean are dangling over a cliff with nothing holding them up but a breaking tree hanging over the edge. Sam doesn't want to die, but he wants Dean to live._

 _{The idea is from a song called Unsteady by X Ambassadors}_

* * *

Hold,

Hold on,

Hold on to me.

'Cause I'm a little unsteady,

A little unsteady.

Sam was sitting on the kitchen table, studying for his exam coming up. If he didn't start studying soon, he wouldn't memorise the information and he'd be more likely to fail. However, he stopped and looked back when he heard a loud banging. He turned and noticed his Dad stumbling into the room, clearly drunk. Dean wasn't at the motel room, he was off with some girl he probably picked up at the bar when he and his Dad went to get information. When Dean went off with the girl, his Dad went off to get drunk.

"Dad." Sam sighed, getting up from the table and helping his Dad both stand and walk straight. Sam figured that the couch would be the best option, however, he also knew that the couch was surprisingly less comfortable than the beds.

"Hold..." Sam stopped talking out of the struggle to hold the weight of his intoxicated Dad. He took a few breaths and a few moments to gather his strength.

"Hold on," Sam ordered, wrapping his Dad's arm around his shoulder to help his Dad. They got to the bed closest to the door but further than the couch. And Sam was almost at a close enough distance to lower his Dad when the drunk man began to stumble and let go.

"Hold on to me," Sam ordered again, more forcefully this time. He grabbed his Dad again and helped to stand him up straight. However, in response, John had put all his weight on Sam.

"Dad, you gotta help me out here 'cause I'm a little unsteady." Sam sighed, he hated it when both members of his family went out to the bar. Dean never came home and John always got drunk, leaving it for Sam to handle, which was hard enough. Let alone when John was as intoxicated as he was now.

Sam got enough distance to be able to drop his Dad onto the bed, putting John's feet on the bed and taking off his shoes. John was out as soon as his head hit the pillow, and Sam just left him alone. With a loud sigh, Sam began packing his school supplies away before he crashed onto the couch, leaving the other bed for Dean.

"A little unsteady," Sam whispered finally, yet sadly. He disliked this entire situation. He hated it, John always coming back drunk and expecting Sam to sort it out. Sure, Sam could leave it alone and let John figure it out, but it was his Dad and no matter what happened, Sam loved his family.

* * *

Hold,

Hold on,

Hold on to me.

Cause I'm a little unsteady,

A little unsteady.

Sam woke up the next morning to hear Dean coming in from his night out. He wiped at his eyes to get rid of the sleep and sat up.

"Morning Sammy." Dean gleamed.

"Morning," Sam grumbled, turning around to see his Dad no longer on the bed, but sitting on the table and going through hunting papers.

"Morning Dad." Dean greeted, walking into the room and towards the kitchen to make himself some crappy coffee.

"Dean." John greeted simply, he felt guilty for having Sam deal with his drunken state whilst he let himself sleep on the couch. John should've been the one on the couch, he always got drunk and always felt bad for making Sam deal with it. But the guilt only made him get drunk again.

Sam stood and went to go use the bathroom, stopping when John grabbed his arm. Sam had been distant from his Dad lately, mostly because of the drunken states. Dean froze when he saw the interaction and hadn't known what to say. However, he stood, prepared to deal with any situation and protect Sam.

"Don't be too long, I need to talk to you boys about the hunt," John ordered, releasing Sam's hand and changing his mind on what he wanted to say. Truthfully, John wanted to apologise for everything. But he couldn't bring out the words.

"Yeah." Sam whispered, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. He did his business, however, stood looking at himself in the mirror for a while. This wasn't the life he wanted, he hadn't wanted to take care of his Dad until he was killed in a hunt he didn't even want to go to.

Sam took a deep breath in, by the time he exited the bathroom his Dad and Dean were discussing the hunt already. Clearly, they hadn't been bothered waiting for Sam to come and join them.

"Alright Dad, repeat what you told me about the hunt." Dean offered the topic to John who clearly knew more about the hunt then him. He took notice that Sam had walked out of the bathroom. He had heard what the hunt was, but Sam hadn't.

"Alright, we are hunting a Wendigo, it resides close to the outskirts of the forest and has so far taken up to five campers in the past few weeks. A group of two and a group of three." John explained, going over a few of his notes.

"So, flare guns, lighters and aerosol cans?" Sam asked, clearly not amused. A Wendigo wasn't on his top list of things to hunt. In fact, he hated Wendigo's and tried to stay away from them as much as possible. Usually, because his Dad stupidly wanted to hunt them during the night when they were the most powerful. They were also incredibly dangerous and hard to kill.

"Wipe that attitude out of your system Samuel Winchester, before I do it for you." John snapped, he could basically hear the angst coming from his son.

"Alright, so, when are we setting off?" Dean asked politely, however with a sigh. He just needed to distract his Dad and Sammy from an oncoming argument.

"Tonight, just in case someone decides to go on a hike. Less likely of being seen in the night." John responded to the question, turning his attention to Dean.

"Yeah, and more likely to be killed by the Wendigo," Sam grumbled with his arms crossed, his Dad was an idiot if he thought that going during the night would help their chances more.

"Listen here. I have been hunting longer than you and I know what I am doing boy. Do not use that tone of voice and do not question my authority." John growled aggressively. He didn't need Sam on his case about a hunt of all things.

"Yes, sir." Sam snarled, storming towards the door of the motel room. John stood from the chair and stomped towards Sam, roughly grabbing hold of the younger boy's arm. "Let me go." Sam snapped angrily, however more frightened. His Dad had the upper hand in this position, and the grip on his arm was starting to hurt.

"You listen to me, I am your father and I will be treated with respect!" John yelled.

"Respect?!" Sam snapped, lashing out. "Respect someone who comes home drunk all the time and expects me to sort your shit out! That's not you being a parent! That's me being the parent every fucking night!" Sam swore. Dean's eyes went wide at the statement.

Dean had no idea that's what went on when he went off with a girl. Sam was growing up too quickly and that wasn't something he wanted for his brother. Sam was supposed to have a childhood. It wasn't working out the way he planned.

Sam's entire body fell to the ground when he felt a sharp pain connect with his cheek. He froze completely. His Dad just backhanded him. Sam's whole body froze, everything he's done for this family, everything he's done for this world. And this is the thanks he gets from his Dad, a fucking slap to the face. Sam stood from the ground quickly and ran into the bathroom.

His lip was bleeding and his cheek and eye were bruising already. It was going to hurt later, Sam was crying and had covered his ears from the arguing outside the bathroom. He heard faintly, his brother yelling at his Dad and his Dad trying to contain dominance to the situation.

There was the slam of the motel room door closing and a few seconds of silence where Sam uncovered his ears. He was sitting in the bath with his knees against his chest. He heard a faint knock on the bathroom door.

"Sammy?" Dean's voice whispered carefully, he knocked on the door again. Sam couldn't stop crying, he was afraid, and he was hurt. His Dad had hit him, he had done so much for John and in return, his Dad had hit him.

"Sammy? I'm coming in." Dean whispered, opening the door. His heart broke at the sight of his brother sitting in the bathtub, alone, hurt and crying. Dean walked carefully to Sam, kneeling and placing his hand underneath Sam's chin to bring his little brothers face up so he could see the wound.

Dean could already see the bruising, it had been a hard and loud hit that must've hurt. Dean climbed into the bathtub, sitting behind Sam and holding the younger Winchester close, reassuring both himself and Sam that it was okay.

"Hold-… Dean was cut off.

"He hit me, Dean," Sam whispered, scared and hurt both mentally and physically. Dean hadn't known what to say in return, he hadn't known what he was supposed to do. There was nothing he could say to make that situation better.

"Hold on." Dean pleaded, he needed Sam to calm down and be okay, and begging Sam to just hold on to him seemed like the easiest way to go. Sam nodded his head, clutching onto Dean's arm and reciprocating the hold.

"Let's get you cleaned up Sammy," Dean whispered, standing up and lifting Sam up bridal style. "Hold on to me," Dean ordered, gesturing for Sam to wrap his arms around Dean's neck, which he did without hesitation.

"Dean, my face hurts and I can't stay awake right now," Sam whispered, Dean would allow Sam to sleep. He was tired and had a busy few days taking care of John. "Cause I'm a little unsteady," Sam whispered, he recognised the words that he said to John and thought about how different the two situations were.

"Get some sleep, Sammy," Dean whispered, laying Sam down on Dean's bed as the older Winchester went to get the first aid kit.

"A little unsteady." Sam finished, closing his eyes and falling asleep, tears falling from his eyes one more time to complete the look of hurt.

* * *

Mama, come here,

Approach, Appear.

Daddy, I'm alone,

'Cause this house don't feel like home.

Dean had mended what he could of Sam's wounds by the time John got back. When he walked through the door with hunched shoulders and guilty expression, Dean couldn't care less. He stood in front of Sam and made sure their father couldn't get near the vulnerable and sleeping boy.

"Dean-…" John tried.

"Shut up. You don't get to talk. Not in that tone, not in that guilty-ass tone. You hit him, you hit your son. We'll do this hunt with you, but if you hit him ever again, I will take him away. Far away, and you'll never see us again." Dean promised, John hadn't said a word against it because he could see the promise in his sons' eyes.

John walked silently to the bathroom to take a shower whilst Dean sat beside Sam's bed again. Watching as Sam slept through whatever he was sleeping through. He remembered a time beforehand, when he was upset and hurting badly, it wasn't physical, but mental pain. And Sam, he had protected Dean, he had helped.

 _FLASHBACK_

 _Dean was only ten years old, the anniversary of his Mama's death and his Father was still out drinking. He was supposed to take care of Sam, but for the life of him, everything just hurt too damn much for him to get out of bed. Sam was sitting on the couch, watching TV, although he was also looking on Dean occasionally, he knew Dean was sad. But little Sammy didn't know how to make it better._

 _"Mama." Dean sobbed to himself, curling into a small ball underneath the blankets. Trying to become as small as he could so he didn't have to face the world around him._

 _Sam stood up immediately, he didn't fully understand why Dean was crying, but that didn't matter to little Sam, who was only six. Sam walked towards Dean and crawled underneath the blankets._

 _"Come here," Sammy whispered, wrapping his arms around his big brother and holding Dean into a big cuddle. Sam knew that Dean just needed someone to be here for him, he knew that this is something he could do for his big brother._

 _"Approach." Dean pleaded, closing his eyes and still seeing a faint silhouette of his Mama. "Appear," he begged to whoever was listening, begging for his Mother to come and be alive again._

 _"Shh. Hush... it's alright, I'm here. I'm here." Sam whispered reassuringly, petting Dean's head lightly and holding his big brother tightly, it was only now that Dean started to see his little brother beside him._

 _Sam reached a hand down and wiped away the tears that didn't need to be there, but was there anyway. "Now, stop that crying. Mama wouldn't want you to be sad, she wants you to be happy. Be happy Dean. Be happy because she loves you no matter what." Sam reassured again, he was smart for his age, and Dean gave him credit for being able to be strong when Dean couldn't._

 _"I can make dinner. Your favourite! We can have pie for dinner!" Sam stood up with a large smile, Dean sat up and followed Sam with sad eyes, he couldn't help the tiny smile for his enthusiastic brother. Sam was didn't understand what was happening, and Dean knew that. All Sam knew was that their Mama wasn't here and Dean missed her._

 _"Sam... we don't have ingredients for a pie," Dean whispered, hating to try and bust the good mood Sam was in, but they truly didn't._

 _"I know silly goose. But I made one anyway!" Sam reached underneath the couch, causing Dean to frown in confusion. What the hell was Sam talking about? All Dean's questions were answered when Sam walked up to Dean with a plate and a paper-made hand-crafted pie, this must've been what Sam had been doing._

 _Dean cried all over again. Sam was shocked and climbed onto the bed, placing the plate at the end of it and hugging Dean close. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sadder, I'll throw it in the bin and make something else. I'm sorry Dean. I'm sorry." Sam hugged Dean more._

 _"It's not that Sammy, I'm happy. I'm very happy." Dean forgot the pain and grief he felt for their Mama, instead, he focused on the happiness that Sam's little gesture gave him._

 _END OF FLASHBACK_

Dean had been so broken back then, and Sam always found ways to cheer him up. Whenever Dean was sad, Sam was right there to make it better. And his little brother's enthusiastic and innocent mind had made Dean better every time. Except, when Sam lost most of his innocence when he found out about monsters and stopped feeling safe. That's when Sam started spiralling into the moody teenager he was now.

"Daddy... I'm alone." Sam whispered in his sleep, John had just gotten out of the bathroom and stopped, listening to what Sam was saying with wide eyes.

"Sammy? I'm here buddy, open your eyes and wake up. You're not alone." Dean reassured, shrugging Sam's shoulders lightly and lifting up a hand to stop his Dad when he noticed John take a step forward. He wasn't joking around when he said he'd take Sam away.

"Cause this house don't feel like home." They were both surprised by Sam's sleep-confession, they knew this place didn't resemble a home, but to hear the broken words from the youngest. It shocked them, and Dean felt his chest burst in fury and sadness at the depression in his brother's words.

* * *

If you love me, don't let go.

If you love me, don't let go.

Sam had woken up from his nightmare to Dean ripping him up from the bed and hugging him tightly. Whispering reassuring things in Sam's ear. 'You're alright', 'I'm here', 'You aren't alone'. He looked towards the bathroom, from the corner of his eye he had noticed a figure standing there. His Dad moved from the door and walked to the fridge, grabbing out a beer.

"If you love me, don't let go," Sam stated to his Dad, John would know exactly what Sam meant by that. Sam didn't need to say the words for John to know. He had almost put the beer back, almost. Instead, he stood up straight and walked to the table.

"If you love me, don't let go," Sam said, more forcefully this time. No doubt that John had known exactly what Sam was saying, and Dean, looking between the interaction, had also caught on to Sam's words. John nodded his head and placed the beer back in the fridge. Sam let out a breath of relief as he hugged into Dean more.

* * *

Hold,

Hold on,

Hold on to me.

'Cause I'm a little unsteady,

A little unsteady.

They were out, ready for the hunt and packing their bags by the Impala beside the forest. Sam and Dean had almost set off when they heard the words of their Dad.

"Hold," John ordered, it had taken a moment for either boy to catch on. "Hold on!" He ordered again, waiting as Dean and Sam turned around to face their Dad. John reached out his hand, knowing this was the moment he needed. If he waited any longer, he would psych himself out of this moment. And it didn't take much.

"Sammy, I'm sorry. For everything, you were right, I shouldn't get drunk and have to be taken care of by the youngest. And Dean, I'm sorry for killing your childhood, you grew up so fast and I missed most of it. In fact, I missed most of your childhoods. But what we do, we save lives, sure, not many people know, but we know. And that's all that counts." John apologised, giving his sons the pep talk they needed, however, Sam and Dean both knew that John wanted an out to the chick-flick moment he created.

"Sam, hold on to me, 'cause I'm a little unsteady," Dean spoke, double-taking back a little and leaning down as Sam laughed and grabbed hold of Dean.

"A little unsteady?" Sam asked curiously, he giggled loudly because he knew exactly why. Even John couldn't help but smile, both in humour and gratefulness.

"Yeah, Dad apologised." Dean laughed, dodging the playful swat John would've given the back of his head. Dean took his backpack and began walking. Sam would've continued if John hadn't grabbed the youngest boys arm.

"What?" Sam asked, confused.

John placed his hand underneath Sam's chin and tilted the boys head upwards to get a better look at the side of Sam's face. A look of regret, self-hatred and grief passed through their Dad's expression. Sam smiled reassuringly.

"It's alright Dad, it barely hurts anymore." That was a lie, and both John and Sam knew that. They both let it go anyways. John nodded, whispering another apology that Sam shrugged off before the young one turned and ran after Dean. John sighed, and followed his sons.

* * *

Hold,

Hold on,

Hold on to me.

'Cause I'm a little unsteady,

A little unsteady.

No one knew how they had gotten to this situation, how the hunt had ended so badly. One moment, it was in their favour and the next, it wasn't. They hadn't gone far before they took a wrong turn and ended up at a cliff edge when they had turned around the Wendigo was waiting there for them. Perched in the trees and screeching down at them.

John had taken action first, ordering his sons to immediately take cover, this was their mistake. John shot a flare at the Wendigo, but it dodged, jumping down from the trees and shoving John with force and speed into another tree. John was dazed long enough for the Wendigo to head for Sam and Dean.

Both boys had split, giving more leeway on their side, another one of their mistakes. Dean headed for the bushes, and Sam headed for the trees. The Wendigo went for Dean first, due to the noise of Dean stepping on dead leaves and fallen twigs. Sam had panicked and grabbed his flare gun, Sam shot at the Wendigo, not expecting the fucker to dodge once again.

"Hold!" Sam panicked, crying out to Dean. The Wendigo turned to face Sam, roaring once before it got back to Dean. Who was dodging every attack and trying to keep out of its reach?

"Hold on Dean!" Sam cried, reloading the flare and shooting another bullet. It hit a tree and exploded at the force, causing the tree to fall and one of the branches to hang over the edge of the cliff.

"Sam watch out!" Sam hadn't been expecting the Wendigo to come after him, he was too preoccupied with the damage he had done to the tree. Sam turned around in time for the Wendigo to plough right into Sam, hitting him with a hand.

Sam could feel the sharp sting of the claws attacking his face, the force of the attack had sent him flying towards the wrong place, and before he knew it, Sam was over the cliff and barely holding on to a rocky ledge a little too far underneath the branch for him to reach.

"Sam!" Dean cried out fearfully, Sam let out a terrified and painful scream. This scream had caused John's daze to pass as the older hunter stood up and surveyed the surroundings. Dean ran to the edge of the cliff whilst the Wendigo ran up the trees to wait. Dean thought he was in the clear, another mistake.

"Dean no!" John warned, crying out loudly, he rushed to the backpack and grabbed out another flare, reloading quickly whilst the Wendigo was distracted. He was too late, the Wendigo shoved into Dean, causing the hunter to fall from the cliff, however, Dean was quicker with his reflexes and managed to grab hold of the branch. He could've hoisted himself up, however, this was the perfect vantage point to grab hold of Sam.

John had shot the gun and fired straight into the Wendigo, and in a fit of rage and pain had thrown himself off the cliff and into the foggy abyss below. John rushed forward, running to the edge of the cliff where he saw Dean reach a hand down and Sam grabbing hold. All three Winchester's heard the creaking and snapping of the branch, it was going to break. John couldn't reach, he had to go get something.

"Hold on to me!" Dean yelled, pleading for Sam to just hold on.

"I can't!" Sam sobbed, terrified. He was hanging, trying to hold on to his big brother but his panic making it difficult. "I can't cause I'm a little unsteady!" he screamed again, however trying to lighten the mood and keep himself from panicking further.

"A little unsteady?!" Dean asked rhetorically, "Sam we're hanging off a fucking cliff!"

"Shut up Dean!" Sam screamed.

"Boys, take a breath and cool down. I can't reach you from here and Dean can't lift himself up. The branch is breaking and the more you panic, the more you'll pull. Calm down, I have to go find something that'll help." John snapped.

Sam needed to say a few things before John left, Sam was always the smart one and knew devastation and desperation when he saw it. There was a large possibility that they would die, and an even larger possibility that only one would die. There was no way they could get out of this mess in one piece.

* * *

Mother, I know,

That you're tired of being alone.

Dad, I know you're trying,

To fight when you feel like flying.

"Mother, I know," Sam whispered, calming himself down but still crying. Instead of being scared, he was trying to reassure his family that it was going to be okay. Dean couldn't hoist himself up whilst holding on to Sam, and the branch was breaking at the amount of weight both boys were giving. If Sam were to let go, his brother would be safe.

John stopped moving, he was shocked at Sam's statement, Dean stopped breathing. Sam never often spoke about the mother he never knew, which made Dean sad, but right now... something pulled at Dean, giving him too many 'wrong' alarms, something was 'wrong' with Sam right now.

"That you're tired of being alone." Sam finished, looking up at his Dad.

"Samm," Dean whispered, tears gathering in his eyes. God, the thought of his Mother being alone, but the thought of whatever was going on through Sam's mind broke him more than his Mother or Father ever could.

"Dad?" Sam questioned, John stopped breathing. The look in Sam's eyes.

"Don't you dare." John snapped, Sam looked like he had already given up. At those three words, Dean broke loose and cried, he too had caught on to why he had many 'wrong' alarms going through his mind.

"I know you're trying," Sam stated, trying to keep his cool. He could see the pain in Dean's expression, the weight of Sam holding onto Dean's arm was going to dislocate his shoulder, or break his arm. Maybe both.

"Sammy, please," Dean begged, knowing exactly what Sam was about to do, he needed to hold his little brother off from letting go long enough for their Dad to find something that could help them.

"To fight when you feel like flying." Sam continued, ignoring their pleas. John froze again, he knew his youngest son was smart. But fuck, this was borderline terrifying. His son knew so much about emotional situations, he knew so much about someone's mind that it terrified John sometimes. But this simple statement, was enough for tears to pool in the oldest hunters eyes.

John never cried tonight was just an exception.

* * *

If you love me, don't let go.

If you love me, don't let go.

"If you love me! Don't let go!" Dean barked out angrily, more fearful than angry but that didn't matter right now because Sam was contemplating suicide in order to let Dean live and that wasn't okay with the older brother.

"Dean-" Sam was cut off.

"If you love me! Don't let go!" he repeated, more angrily and more forcefully. Sam needed to do this.

"I love you, and that's why I have to let go," Sam whispered apologetically.

* * *

Hold,

Hold on,

Hold on to me.

'Cause I'm a little unsteady,

A little unsteady.

"Hold..." Dean winced at the pressure of his arm, however, he'd never say anything against the pain. This specific pain let him know that Sam was still fucking there. He looked up, John wasn't there, John knew that Dean could keep Sam talking long enough for him to get something that would save both his boys.

"Hold on," Dean begged.

"Dean-" Sam was cut off again.

"Hold on to me." Dean sobbed. "I can't do this shit without you, Sammy." Dean cried.

"Dean-" Sam just couldn't speak, Dean kept interrupting.

"Cause I'm a little unsteady... a little unsteady. I'm not like I used to be and neither are you, but we'll be okay. We're always okay. I just need you to hold the fuck on." Dean snapped.

"I can't Dean," Sam whispered, letting his hand go, Dean, screamed out Sam's name louder than he ever had before. Dean tightened his grip on Sam's wrist, not that it mattered, Sam was still slipping.

* * *

Hold,

Hold on,

Hold on to me.

'Cause I'm a little unsteady,

A little unsteady.

"Hold... Hold on... Hold on to me! Sam now!" Dean ordered, begging, pleading, angrily asking. He needed Sam to hold on for just a little longer.

"Dean, I can't. Cause I'm a little unsteady." Sam whispered, everything that had happened, everything that led to this moment... it was crashing around in his mind and he was tired of fighting it. He needed Dean to live, and Dean couldn't live with Sam holding on.

"A little unsteady." Sam sighed, he was almost gone, a few more inches and Sam would drop. Dean tried holding on as tight as he could but it wasn't working.

"I've got it!" John cried out. Dean held on tighter, the branch broke more, and John came forward with a large rope that could hold Sam. John could hoist Sam up whilst Dean climbed up.

"Please Sammy." Dean cried. He laughed in relief when he felt Sam's fingers curl around his hand and hold on tightly.

"Okay Dean, I trust you," Sam whispered, crying himself. God, he had thought his life was going to be over. To learn that it wasn't, fuck... Sam was ready to live.

* * *

Hold,

Hold on,

Hold on to me.

'Cause I'm a little unsteady,

A little unsteady.

John lowered the rope, ordering Sam to reach out with his other hand and wrap the rope around his arm. It would give him a bit of rope burn, but it was better than dying.

"Now, let go of Dean," John ordered.

"What?!" Both boys cried out in panic.

"Trust me," John ordered.

"Make sure you've got a good fucking hold of that," Dean said to both his Dad and Sam. This was too risky, this was way too risky. One thing went wrong and Sam was gone.

"Okay," Sam whispered, letting go of Dean. It took the older brother a little longer, but he too was coaxed into letting go of Sam. Sam screamed as he dropped a little, but hung on tightly to the rope. Dean too had screamed out Sam's name.

"Dean, climb up whilst I lift Sam." Dean nodded and was immediately climbing the cliff to the top like it was the easiest rock wall. His adrenaline rushing so quickly he thought he'd be able to fly, although he wouldn't test that theory whilst hanging off the edge of a fucking cliff. What kept him motivated was the thought of him being safe and Sammy still hanging, he needed to help his Dad lift Sam from the cliff.

When Dean had gotten up, he too grabbed hold of the rope and helped his Dad hoist, Sam, up, it hadn't taken long for Sam to be high enough for Dean and John to grab and pull. Soon, Sam was in Dean's arms, and both boys were held by John as the sun began to rise from the horizon ahead of them.

"Hold..." Dean coughed, still sobbing. "Hold on." he continued, just grabbing hold of Sammy. "Hold on to me," Dean ordered. Sam laughed a little before he continued.

"Cause I'm a little unsteady." Sam cried happily, they were all safe. Sam looked out to the horizon and whispered to himself, his Dad and brother too focused on the thoughts that they were all alive to care about what Sam had whispered.

"A little unsteady."


	13. 13 - Locker Room

Chapter 13 - Locker Room

 **.Pre-Series.**

Sam = Age 14

Dean = Age 18

 _It shouldn't have gone this far; Sam should've fought harder. He could fight against Supernatural creatures; however, school bullies were somehow in his blind spot. Now it turned to this, Sam struggling to breathe in the claustrophobic, dust-filled locker and unable to get out. The school bell had gone, and Sam was trapped._

* * *

 _BANG!_

Crashing and laughter could be heard from the gym locker room as well as struggle. The children had locked the gym door and held Sam tight enough so he couldn't escape.

 _BANG!_

Inside the gym locker room, Sam was struggling to escape, using all his strength and all his limbs to try and escape from the grasp of the bullies. They were laughing at his struggles, he was kicking his legs and swinging his arms, although it was a little more difficult to swings his arms because they had him.

"Chuck him in his locker!" the ringleader called with a menacing grin, Sam's eyes widened fearfully and his struggling increased. He knew that there was no chance getting out of the locker until at least tomorrow, he also doubted that Dean would be able to find him in the fucking locker room. Dean probably wasn't even going to look.

 _BANG!_

The ringleader opened Sam's gym locker and the two others basically threw Sam into the locker, each laughing and making their own jokes. Sam tried to leave the locker, however, they had it shut and locked before he could recover.

"That should teach you a lesson for thinking you're better than us." The ringleader growled angrily, it wasn't Sam's fault that he had lived with John's training and he was athletic. It was his upbringing that had made him better.

"Should also teach him to maybe not make us look bad." One of the followers snapped, Sam was screaming, sobbing and banging on the locker door, trying to be free.

 _BANG!_

"Let me out!" Sam screamed, banging on the locker door. His throat was starting to hurt from all the screaming, he had no idea how long he had been in the locker for, the time had slipped away from him. Sam was just hoping that someone would walk by and hear him, that's why he didn't stop screaming, in fear that he would miss his chance, and someone would walk by none the wiser.

"Let me out!" He screamed again, tears falling from his face and his voice becoming patchy. His breath hitched and his throat croaked, he sobbed for a little in fear. What if no one came to get him out? No! Someone had to come, they couldn't just leave him in the locker.

The locker that seemed to be getting smaller, the locker that seemed to lack as much oxygen as it had before. Sam's harms started to become heavy, he uselessly began kicking at the door as well as banging against it. No longer caring whether he would use all his energy.

"Let me out!" Someone had to know that he was in here, right? Someone had to know. He couldn't just be stuck here all night, he couldn't. It wasn't right.

 _BANG!_

Across the schoolyard. Dean was frantic, it had been an hour since school finished and he was still asking around for his little brother, no one had seen him since his classes. As soon as school ended, it was like Sam had disappeared. Anything could've happened, from kidnapping to the monsters they hunt. Although that wouldn't make any sense, Dean swore that they had gotten rid of whatever monster was in this town.

"Sam!" Dean called, deciding to get back inside the school building and try all the halls and classrooms again, it was a large school. But Dean was largely frightened over where his little brother could be. He could've gone home but their Dad was at home and agreed to stay there in case Sam decided to walk back on his own.

"Sam!" Dean called again, rushing through the halls frantically. He searched every classroom he came across before the thought had occurred to him. He should've thought of it an hour ago. Dean ran to Sam's locker, remembering the combination as his own birthday before he opened the locker door and read through Sam's schedule.

History, Math, and Gym. Dean took a photo of the schedule and ran to the classrooms listed at the bottom of the page. Sam was so OCD, everything was neatly placed and at the bottom of the schedule were his classes, the teachers, the times and the classroom locations. Dean would have to help Sam lighten up a little if only he could find him. Although, at this point, he didn't know whether to thank Sam's OCD or not.

"Sam!" Dean called again as he ran. There hadn't been lucky so far, but he'd find his little brother, no matter what.

 _BANG!_

Sam had stopped screaming for help and focused on trying to control his breathing. It was getting harder to breathe and the locker was getting smaller and smaller. The world seemed to be getting darker and Sam was losing track of both the time and the reality of where he was.

Tears wept from his eyes as he truly believed that he as alone and that he wouldn't be saved. The Supernatural they fought on a daily basis wasn't this terrifying, although Sam knew that Dean would always come to his rescue in a Supernatural incidence. This wasn't a Supernatural case; Sam was trapped in a locker room and his phone was outside on the benches.

"He-" Sam's own voice cut off before he could finalize the word because his throat was sore and it couldn't work properly. Sam reached up a clammy and weak hand to rub against his throat with a wince and a scowl; more tears fell from his eyes as the sinking feeling of hopelessness came in.

"Dean," Sam whispered ever so quietly; he hardly knew whether or not he spoke at all. The shivers that had wracked his body before were beginning to draw to a close and his legs gave out until his knees slammed against the locker door and that was the only thing keeping him upright. Even his head fell forward and landed on the door as his eyes closed. He just needed to rest for a moment.

Sleep didn't come for him; he was stuck in a turmoil of torture inside this locker. Sam wasn't claustrophobic; he never thought of himself as being afraid of tight spaces, and that wasn't what this was, he was more-so scared- no... he was petrified that no one would let him out, that his Dad and Dean would file a missing person's report and no one would find him and he would die in this locker.

With another shaky breath and a few more released tears, Sam tried one more time. He focused all his rage and panic to draw back his fist and slam in into the locker door in hopes that somewhere, someone would've heard it. Unknown to him, someone did.

BANG!

Nowhere. Sam had been nowhere, not in history, not in Math and not in the Gym. Dean was just about to leave the gym and ring the police, or his father, or Bobby or someone to come and help him find his missing brother when he heard it, a sound coming from the locker rooms that he knew he had checked already.

Dean ran into the locker room and he truly believed that he heard something until he was met with complete silence. Drawing out his gun, Dean switched on the lights once more and looked around the locker room.

"Sammy? Are you here? Come on buddy, if you're here, answer me!" Dean ordered; his panic turning to slight anger because that's the only emotion he knew to show whilst in a situation like this. He would deal with whatever else came later because right now Sam was missing. Dean walked around the corner of the locker room, making sure to look absolutely everywhere when suddenly a small shimmer caught his eyes.

Dean walked quickly towards the shine and kneeled down, it was a phone. The look of the phone is what sent Dean into a panic because this was Sam's phone and he never left anywhere without his phone. Dean made sure that Sam never went anywhere without his phone.

"Sam!" Dean screamed louder than ever; he knew that Sam was in trouble, maybe the noise was him.

"De-" A silent whisper; if Dean was mundane then he would've thought nothing of it. However, Dean wasn't mundane and he knew that voice like he knew the Impala, hell, he knew this voice better then he knew the Impala.

"Sammy!" Dean called; Sam was here and he was clearly hurt and weaker than before. He never wanted to hear this type of tone in his little brother's voice but right now sam was in trouble and still... Dean couldn't find him.

BANG!

With another weaker hit against the locker door, Sam hoped that Dean would be able to find him. However, after all this time, Sam had his doubts. This doubt wouldn't stop him because this was his only chance to be free from this locker.

"Sam! Where are you? I can hear you but I don't know where you are!" Dean's voice could be heard as it echoed through the locker room. Dean was coming to his rescue and at this thought, Sam revealed a small smile that no one in this situation could see.

"De-" Sam rasped; he tried to yell but his throat was dry from the yelling and the screaming he had done earlier. He wasn't able to yell and scream anymore.

"Sam? Oh God, you're in the locker?! Shit Sam, who did this!?" Dean growled in a menacing tone that promised pain and torture to the kids that had locked Sam in his own locker.

"De-" Sam whispered again; the only word he could seem to say right now had been a nickname he created when he was younger because he couldn't say Dean's name properly.

"Shit! Okay, don't talk... wait, no... you gotta talk to me. Keep talking, what is the combination?" Dean's voice was currently in a panicked state that Sam only heard when he was in pain and Dean was trying to make it better. The tone confused Sam because he didn't feel in pain at the moment, maybe his throat but it wasn't that bad. He was just really tired.

"De-" He whispered quieter, his eyes drooping once more as the fatigue bounced back and the adrenaline from hearing Dean's voice left as quickly as it came. Everything was going to be okay now because Dean was here and Dean was going to make everything better.

"Sam! The combination! I can't get you out unless you tell me what it is!" Dean shouted in anger and panic. Sam took a deep breath in; he was trying to tell Dean what the combination was. The words just wouldn't come out properly.

BANG!

"De- Birth..." Sam's voice had cut off, but that was all Dean needed because he finally understood what the locker combination was. Sam had used Dean's birthday and that made his heart melt. However, his heart was already constricted because Sam sounded so tired and he was still in that goddamn locker.

After placing the combination in, he swung the locker door open and quickly caught the smaller kid who had toppled out and couldn't hold his own. Dean landed on the ground with one leg curled and one outstretched. Sam's head was on his curled leg and his body was outstretched alongside Dean's other leg.

"Sammy? Buddy open your eyes," Dean begged; lightly tapping Sam's face. The air surrounding Sam was like a breath of fresh air and in this breath, he took a deeper inhale of oxygen. Finally gaining his senses back and gaining his strength alongside his thoughts.

"You found me," Sam whispered; his tone was still weaker and his voice was still raspy and croaky but Dean didn't care. The tone and sound of Sam's voice were easily fixed with water and something warm, Dean finally had his little brother back.

"Yeah, there isn't anywhere that you can go where I won't find you. I will always find you," Dean whispered back; they hadn't needed to speak any louder as they both were finally able to breathe again.

"Thank you," Sam smiled; he took the moment to close his eyes and gain back what he had lost inside the locker. Whilst during this moment, Dean also took the moment to let himself smile and take in Sam's face and frame to make sure Sam was truly okay. Other than a few scrapes and cuts on his knuckles and the struggles with Sam's voice, he was okay.

"Sammy," Dean began as the new thought came to him and an angry expression came to light. "When you stand and walk to the Impala, you are going to give me the names of the kids who did this to you and I am going to rip their lungs out," Dean swore a promise that they both knew he meant, however, exaggerated. Sam chuckled lightly, knowing that Dean would only beat them rather than rip their lungs out.

"Jerk,"

"I'm not joking, Bitch."

BANG!


End file.
